July 16, 2011

The Glass

It's been almost a week, and I feel nothing has changed. I cannot recall feeling so negative for so long. I realize that not sharing the causes leaves this somewhat dry and whiny. But the details are just too fresh and bring out too much pain.

All of this bleakness makes finding bright spots easier. They are few and far between. And mostly intangible. But, I know they are out there. The glass still has something in it.

July 10, 2011


Stupefying. That is about the only word to describe how this past year has been. I cannot believe how many times I have been pushed around. Pushed down. Pushed away. So much of my personal life whirls chaotically around me in hurricane-force winds. And I am in the center of the storm.
In truth, I have bothered close friends with my tales of woe. At least parts of it. You have to have that release. Knowing that no one will actually read this, yet thousands have the chance to see it, makes writing here the hardest. But I need an outlet. Something that allows me to whine, complain, but most importantly never reacts with judgement or pity. I don't need either. I don't need answers. I need the release.

I just want to be released from the negativity. I am a if-the-glass-has-something-in-it-I-still-use-a-varying-degree-of-full kind of guy. Right now, I am empty of positiveness. I crave any glimmer of hope. Of light.

I am tired of doors closing. I am tired of moving towards something only to have it derailed. I am tired of feeling stupefied.

I know there are no details. I don't have it within me to write about/relive some of the events. I just needed to rant, scream, mash keys, and release the feelings. Here's hoping this helps.

July 11, 2010

Another Venue for Adding Gibberish

This post is brought to you by Blackberry, Opera Mini, and Sprint.
Alright. So nothing earth shattering. It is something many do on a daily basis. But for me, this is the first chance I have had to test out this method of posting.
If anything, this will give me the opportunity to post more often. Typing is a pain, for sure, but for short bursts of ranting, creativity, or just popping in, this will work fine.

July 05, 2010

You Still Blog?

Here I sit, reading the words written over the past few years, and wondering what happened. It has been almost one year since I wrote anything here. And almost 15 months since I wrote anything worth writing. I poured out my thoughts, some more deep than others, and felt that even if they were not read, at least I freed them from my brain.
So what happened? Why did I end so abruptly? I don't have a good answer for that. Sure social networking sites have taken their toll. And dealing with a four year-old is a worthwhile use of my time. Still, this was the place for me to write. A place for me to ramble, rant, and recount memories. It was my space on the internet where I could be exposed to millions, yet no one to see.
A big part of it is how much the fad of blogging as subsided. Does anyone even admit to it anymore? Too fearful to hear, "You still blog? That was so 20then..." A recent tour of blogs that I read almost daily has proven to be a glimpse into the past. Only four blogs had entries from this year, and only one post total for this year. The average time between the last two posts was eight months. Truly the bubble has burst.

The real question is, what do I plan to do? Give up? Maybe even pull the entire blog like so many have done? No. Not giving up. I have too much invested. And I need to have the dialog; even if it is with myself. This is a marathon. And this is the first step. I can only see the next few. Where this takes me is part of the adventure.

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