Gibberish and Drivel

The Glass

2011-07-16T21:56:00.002-04:00

It's been almost a week, and I feel nothing has changed. I cannot recall feeling so negative for so long. I realize that not sharing the causes leaves this somewhat dry and whiny. But the details are just too fresh and bring out too much pain.

All of this bleakness makes finding bright spots easier. They are few and far between. And mostly intangible. But, I know they are out there. The glass still has something in it.

Catharsis

2011-07-10T22:31:00.007-04:00

Stupefying. That is about the only word to describe how this past year has been. I cannot believe how many times I have been pushed around. Pushed down. Pushed away. So much of my personal life whirls chaotically around me in hurricane-force winds. And I am in the center of the storm.
In truth, I have bothered close friends with my tales of woe. At least parts of it. You have to have that release. Knowing that no one will actually read this, yet thousands have the chance to see it, makes writing here the hardest. But I need an outlet. Something that allows me to whine, complain, but most importantly never reacts with judgement or pity. I don't need either. I don't need answers. I need the release.

I just want to be released from the negativity. I am a if-the-glass-has-something-in-it-I-still-use-a-varying-degree-of-full kind of guy. Right now, I am empty of positiveness. I crave any glimmer of hope. Of light.

I am tired of doors closing. I am tired of moving towards something only to have it derailed. I am tired of feeling stupefied.

I know there are no details. I don't have it within me to write about/relive some of the events. I just needed to rant, scream, mash keys, and release the feelings. Here's hoping this helps.

Another Venue for Adding Gibberish

2010-07-11T13:59:00.001-04:00

This post is brought to you by Blackberry, Opera Mini, and Sprint.
Alright. So nothing earth shattering. It is something many do on a daily basis. But for me, this is the first chance I have had to test out this method of posting.
If anything, this will give me the opportunity to post more often. Typing is a pain, for sure, but for short bursts of ranting, creativity, or just popping in, this will work fine.

You Still Blog?

2010-07-05T23:58:00.002-04:00

Here I sit, reading the words written over the past few years, and wondering what happened. It has been almost one year since I wrote anything here. And almost 15 months since I wrote anything worth writing. I poured out my thoughts, some more deep than others, and felt that even if they were not read, at least I freed them from my brain.

So what happened? Why did I end so abruptly? I don't have a good answer for that. Sure social networking sites have taken their toll. And dealing with a four year-old is a worthwhile use of my time. Still, this was the place for me to write. A place for me to ramble, rant, and recount memories. It was my space on the internet where I could be exposed to millions, yet no one to see.

A big part of it is how much the fad of blogging as subsided. Does anyone even admit to it anymore? Too fearful to hear, "You still blog? That was so 20then..." A recent tour of blogs that I read almost daily has proven to be a glimpse into the past. Only four blogs had entries from this year, and only one post total for this year. The average time between the last two posts was eight months. Truly the bubble has burst.

The real question is, what do I plan to do? Give up? Maybe even pull the entire blog like so many have done? No. Not giving up. I have too much invested. And I need to have the dialog; even if it is with myself. This is a marathon. And this is the first step. I can only see the next few. Where this takes me is part of the adventure.

And one other thing: Comments are moderated. Spam comments are not tolerated.

Classy, Elegant Gibberish

2009-07-23T22:11:00.002-04:00

Alas, my search for a new layout has not gone well. In truth, this blog has really gone to the wayside. Facebook and twitter have taken its toll on where I spend my time. Neither afford me the space or podium that this blog does, but I cannot seem to turn off the filters and censors inside.

For now, I went with a sleeker look. If for no other reason, than to at least do some kind of change. Maybe something will come along to rant about. Until then, thank you for stopping by.

Template Change

2009-06-29T19:25:00.002-04:00

Not for the better, but Google is suspending some functionality of Page Creator that holds info and images that let my former template work. Rather than find some other way to host them, I went on a search. This is somewhat cool, but it is buggy. Since I am also lazy, I am not in the mood to edit them out. So bear with me as I search around.

Ever Evolving Science

2009-05-28T23:49:00.001-04:00

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my tail the most." - Lucy, Australopithecus afarensis

So the big news is now "Missing Link Found!", as a 47 million-year-old lemur-like creature with opposable thumbs and fingernails has been discovered. Well, at least his remains were found.
This instantly reminded me of a post from the Dilbert Blog called, "Fossils - Still Bullshit." Scott Adams posits that most of the evidence for evolution is dumbed down so that the masses can understand it. But that the simplification creates misleading and false information.

It has always struck me as a bit absurd that we base how entire species look on one skeleton. (And sometimes on pieces of a skeleton.) Can you imagine a few thousand years from now, after the machines take over the world and then humans again are triumphant, that someone digs up a skeleton and says that this is what Homo Sapiens looked like. And it just happens that they dug up some inbred hillbilly whose grandfather was also his brother. On top of that, the only surviving record from our time is a Li'l Abner cartoon.

This really just gave me an excuse to rant. On an episode of Mythbusters debunking shark myths, they used peppers (Scotch Bonnets, I believe) as a possible shark deterrent. It didn't work. Then the voice over says that only mammals find the capsaicin in peppers to be an irritant. (Yes, I did have to look up how to spell capsaicin.) The voice over continues that capsaicin does not work on birds, and apparently fish. That pepper plants had evolved to better protect their seeds. This was said with all sincerity and as a matter of fact.
And all that came to mind is, "REALLY?!?"
It seems so illogical to me to give plants the ability to think. That a plant would know what class of animal is eating its fruit. That it could figure out that it can produce a substance which would effectively stop that one class from eating its fruit. AND that this substance would not work on other classes of animals. (It still would want birds to take the fruit so that it would spread the seeds to other areas.)
Yet, the scientific evidence is underwhelming. There is not one bit of data that can prove this. It is strictly looking at the facts - capsaicin affects only mammals, mammals chew and destroy the seeds when consuming the seed pods, birds swallow seeds and drop them off with a pile of fertilizer to boot - and then coming up with a story (they call it a theory to make it sound more authentic) how and why this came to be.

Now, for the record, I do not have a problem with the Earth and Universe being billions of years old. If anything it goes towards proving God's omnipotence. Most believe in that God was around long before he ever put us on the planet. Just what did he do "pre-Adam"? Sat in the dark? Why should we think that our existence on this planet is the first and only time that God created life?
The detail that traps "creationists" is the death part. According to them and a strict reading of the Bible, there was no death on the Earth until Adam sinned. So that means the Earth can only be about 6000 years old. Dinosaurs and man were created the same "Sixth" day. They will tell you that dinosaurs even made it onto Noah's ark. That is the only way to get around the death issue.
I am not saying by any means that I know all the answers. But what if God was referring to the death of the soul? I do find it interesting that man is singled out as being formed by God, who then breathes life into him. And the KJV ends the passage with "man became a living soul."

The overwhelming truth to any and all of this is that NO ONE KNOWS! And yet we spend time and money searching for answers about our supposed past. And we take bits and pieces of bones and remains and conjure up stories to help us cope with the nagging fact we want there to be more. We want to feel special and important. We view ourselves as the pentacle of evolution. That the struggle for life on this planet has a clear winner in Man. All the while fearful in knowing how quickly this futile existence really is for (a) man. And that the real epitaph for each of us is "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my life the most."

Permanence, Tangents and Runaway Trains of Thought

2009-05-14T10:48:00.004-04:00

So, a "discussion" with Kat has led to a bit of introspection. It started with her wanting to move back to Dallas. Closer to family, friends, etc. I, on the other hand, have no reason to do so. No (immediate) family, friends or etc. No reason and no desire to move. That's when I learned her plan was only to be here about three years; the same amount of time as we spent in New Orleans. That was about two years ago. My plan was to be here about ten years. Maybe more. Actually, I have no exit plan. Needless to say, this put us at odds with each other.
I really don't know where I would like to live next. I do know I don't want Dallas. Ironically, eight years ago, I didn't want to leave it. Dallas was permanence. Florida was a place I wanted to live, but not until we had kids and they were old enough to enjoy what this place has to offer.
Now, I have an aunt and uncle and two cousins in Dallas. That's it. My parents have since moved. I have lost contact with the so-called friends I had there. Dallas now feels intangible.

The introspection part: My parents lived in the same house for over 30 years. We grew up there. My grandparents lived in the same house or town for several decades. My grandmother and only surviving grandparent lives in a house that was built before the turn of the century. The 20th century. Talk about permanence. My dad worked at the same company for over 30 years. He retired from there. Both of my grandfathers did the same in their respective careers. I realize that was a different time and place. Still, these are the ideals I have in my head when it comes to how I see living in a particular locale. I want permanence. At least what passes for it in the 21st century.
I think about my grandfathers much more now that Chase has entered my life. I especially think about the advice they imparted. The stories they told. The habits and lifestyles they kept. I know that I learned to love reading by having them read stories to me. Or when they would tell me stories and jokes. Further, I only heard one cuss word uttered by either one of them. And I only heard it once. (The D word.) In fact, the closest thing to an off-color joke my mother's father ever told around the grand kids is still one of my favorites. Indulge me:
A farmer came in at the end of a long day. Exhausted, he tells his wife all about what occurred. "Joe and I were plowing the North end of the farm, when a rattlesnake spooked Joe's horse. The horse took off with the plow behind him but Joe didn't let go of the plow. I yelled at Joe to let go, but the horse was just going too fast. Then they got to the treeline and the horse made a sharp turn. Joe was whipped into the trees. Joe was pretty cut up, but the worst was that he took a branch to... you know... his back side... to that um, opening..."
"Rectum?" asked his wife.
"Wrecked him! Durn near killed him!"
I was about 10 years old at the time. I knew what a rectum was. But the play on words intrigued me. I suddenly found there were several layers to how words could be used. I also know that this is when I began listening to words sung in country music. Those lyrics were full of double meanings and plays on words. For a frustrating summer, I attempted to write songs just like I was listening to. They ranged from pitiful to downright appalling. My career as a song writer ended, and I think the world is a much better place because of that.

I have been wondering if any of my grandparents would have moved around more. In today's world, where would they have ended up? I do know that they did move early on in their lives. My father's mom and dad moved to California from Kansas during the Great Depression. So did many others, all out of necessity. And I know that my great-grandfather really got around. He started out in Ohio, made it as far west at California, through the South including Texas and Tennessee, and if memory serves, he lived in Illinois and Nebraska before landing in Kansas. Why that kind of wandering/exploring gene became dormant for the next few generations still puzzles me. Don't get me wrong. I love visiting/exploring other places, just no desire to live there for any length of time.

Which brings me back around to permanence. And on to a much larger issue of why. What is it that I seek with permanence? I realize I am not a fan of change, but it goes beyond that. Why stay in any one place?
I know some want to make their portion of the world better than how they found it. I know some are a slave to a job/career. And I know some who live in a place for what the surroundings provide them. I mostly fall into the third category. While so much of the country freezes, I can enjoy some of the world's best beaches. For some, the entertainment here is not their cup of tea, but for me, a morning at the theme parks is great fun. If I ever move from here, I know that I would miss it. And dwell on it several times a day.

Maybe I am being selfish. I know that it would be good for Chase to see his grandparents more. But I am afraid that living in Dallas, the number of visits would drop off dramatically over time. When we lived there, we would see her family maybe once every two to three months. They never came to us. We would go there.
I have even thought about some kind of compromise. Maybe in Texas, but in the Hill Country. That way family is close for her, but still places for me to enjoy. Would either of us be happy with that? It seems like asking a doctor to remove a tattoo from a leg, and then place it on an arm.

And here is where the tangents and trains of thought have led. For now, I think we will be here for some time. Chase will have his formative years in the state of his birth. And I would like to think that my reason for being here will move towards making here a better place than I found it. Kat already is doing that with teaching. And what better type of permanence (memory) could there be than shaping the minds and lives of future generations?

Random Gibberish, April 2009

2009-04-07T23:06:00.005-04:00

It makes me very frustrated, going about a month between posts. It makes me feel like I am letting myself down. I really thought I could post 6 times a month. Well, technically I can. The real truth is that I censor about 95% of what I write. Mainly because I don't feel I have something substantial to add to the web. And it isn't like any/many do stop in.

Still, there are those things that I write down that, at the time, seem to be something. I wrestle with making them a worthwhile read. Most just bounce around and get deleted. Here, if for no other reason than to rid a few of them from my skull, are topics, rants, thoughts (gibberish, drivel) that have been squatting like a band of homeless gypsies and need to be evicted from my brain:

Ducks have such attitude. But they get away with it. Next time you see some ducks on a lake, just stay there and watch. Sooner or later, they will dip headfirst into the water, getting a bite to eat. Not hardly. They are mooning you. And you thought they were all cute. Another reason to hunt them.
I miss Feedburner. Google analytics is so clunky. And you really have to dig for the information Feedburner would gift wrap and present in such a clean, simple way.
Speaking of analytics, 4 people a day visit this site. Poor unfortunate souls. They obviously didn't know what they were searching for. And it's NEVER anyone I know. (Okay, almost never. 99.99997% of the time NEVER.)
If I opened up a puppy mill (or even a legal dog breeding facility), I would call it the Bar K Corral. (Not really; I find one dog to be a chore. I cannot imagine what more than one would smell like...)
If I could be one age the rest of my life (sort of like vampiric/never-aging, but not necessarily an undead/eternal state *huh?*), I would like to be 28. It just seems more respectable. More responsible than an 18 or 21 year old. And yet still has a youthfulness about it.

Well, now. Out of my head. And into yours. All 4 of you. In truth, most of you stay around about 38 seconds, so most of you didn't even finish reading this. And I wonder why I don't post more often...

Edit: I do want you all to know, I really am not hung up on how many and who visit here. It is all tongue-in-cheek. And done for a laugh only. I do this blog for my amusement; not so much for acclaim. Orlando Daily Photo (the link is at the top) gets well over 2000 visitors a month, and I post quite regularly there. Over 500 photos. And that's with taking over two months off.

It's Good To Have Goals

2009-03-09T23:27:00.002-04:00

Just a quick Life Check:
Chase will be the Big Three shortly. He has moved into the Big Boy bed with relative ease. In fact, he has taken each and every change with such ease that I sometimes wonder if we were given the wrong child.
Yet, with all his adaptability, we have yet to master the potty. He would rather stay in diapers. I cannot seem to get past this hurdle.
Any advice? Anyone still out there?

Does My Insurance Cover That?

2009-02-23T09:30:00.000-05:00

A wave of sinusitis and flu paid us all a visit last week. And since I am now an alarmist parent who does not wish to even pass by a hospital, we rushed Chase into the doctor's office for a second opinion. (The first being a check against medical websites and his hospital's discharge papers.)
He was not at all acting that sick. Daddy, fever ridden with chills, had on multiple layers, a hat and ski gloves. Did I mention it's in the 70's? Much too cold to be out running around with chills.
The doctor got all the information she needed from Mommy and Daddy. Still, she talks to the kids to make sure nothing is overlooked. So she asked Chase if he had any boo-boos. She asked, "Do you hurt anywhere?"
Chase answered, "Yeah."
"What hurts?" queried the doctor.
Chase responds, "My feelings."
Mommy quips, "I don't think this is the right doctor for that."

Almost 3, and already I have to worry how I have emotionally scarred my child.

Stuperstition

2009-02-20T09:45:00.000-05:00

So, I have been under the weather this week. The weather is most likely the culprit in this, as it keeps going into the 80's and then a few days later down into the 40's and 50's.
I cope with my sickness through hibernation. Leave me alone and let me sleep. So none of my laundry was washed - for a while. (Yes, we each do our own laundry. That way I don't mis-wash her items. Yes, that did happen. Lesson learned.)

Now, I am doing laundry today. But I ran down to the last of everything before that. And you know that underwear that would embarrass Mom if one is in an accident? I am wearing them.

Needless to say, I'm going nowhere. Not until the first load is done.

That Tingly Feeling

2009-02-16T23:17:00.003-05:00

We/I take Chase to the themeparks on a somewhat regular basis. Three times a month is about average. Not just to Disney, but to SeaWorld, also. Is it possible that I am destroying any magic that these places have?
I did not make it to Walt Disney World until I was 27. It was someplace I had always wanted to visit. (More like work/play/sleep/live there.) It was truly a memorable experience from the time I knew that I would go. I knew more about WDW and the inner workings and minute details than most will ever know. So I enjoy it in ways few really ever will. Like, did you know that the windows along Main Street, USA, have the names of the designers and workers involved in building the park? I can also tell you what role some of those played. Is that something that is necessary to enjoy the Magic Kingdom? No. But for me, it enhances the experience. Even today, I still get that tingly feeling as I drive onto WDW property.
The underlying issue is in how I view other parks. Or specifically, how I view Six Flags Over Texas. We would go maybe twice a year. I always looked forward to going. But it did not really mean that much to me. Sure, I knew the ins and outs of the park. I knew insider tips. I hardly ever needed a map. I even "worked" there - one day as a fundraiser for church. But, never once did I ever get that tingly feeling after the age of 12 or so. It was a place to go and play for a day.
So, here I am in Orlando. I live in between three of the most well known themeparks in the world. I enjoy going to two of them with Chase. I would go once a week if I could. But will these places become a "place to go and play for a day"? Will he ever even get that tingly feeling?

The Celebrity of President

2009-01-30T11:46:00.079-05:00

In the age of Paris Hilton, I guess there should not be any shock that we elect someone to the office of the presidency based more on style than on substance. Still, during the first 10 days, we have reports on what Obama is wearing mixed in with the celebrity gossip shows. We hear about his bold decisions he tackles along with what designer's tie he is wearing. (Go check it out on your own if you don't believe me. I am not about to link to any of them.)

Now before anyone (any liberal leaning person anyway) gets all rankled that I am attacking him, let me say three things:
1. I do not think that either of the two candidates were good choices for President. In fact, I do not like the idea of senators even running for the office. Most of our presidents have been governors prior to being elected to the office. The last sitting senator to be elected president was JFK. And one could argue that he was elected on style as well. And at least JFK had more than 70 days worth of actual Senate time under his belt before running!
2. This election was more about voting against someone or something than actually voting for a candidate. There was so much vitriol (yes, using the secondary definition of the word) towards Bush that you would have thought Bush was running for a third term. No one looked at voting records or experience (exception would be Sarah Palin's experience).
3. And Bush certainly did not help his party's chances by allowing gas prices to get so far out of hand. This truly was the snowball that caused the economic avalanche. Never once did he consider opening our reserves or push for new drilling anywhere in or around the US. He had the power to do so, without Congress first pursuing legislation. (Side note: Who is the largest importer of oil to the U.S.? Anyone care to take a guess?)

So here we are at the 10 day mark and two very troubling items have come up. The first is the stimulus. We run into a surreal universe where we can increase our debt load by giving money away AND somehow we can cut taxes. Try this little trick at home tonight. Tell your spouse that since times are tight and prices are rising, you have voluntarily chosen to reduce the amount of income you make. And then while your spouse is dazed tell that person you also want to do your part to stimulate the economy, so you are buying up beach front property in Arizona at a ridiculously high price. Sure you will have a debt load that even your great-grandchildren still won't be able to dent. But that will be their problem, right?
The second comes out of the the "shameful" bonuses paid out last year. Obama blasted bank executives for their irresponsibility (Responsibilty is his theme song) in paying out such large bonuses. After some digging (and you really have to dig through quite a bit) I found a couple of interesting facts. Most of these bonuses were not paid to executives. In fact, banks that were assisted by TARP had to eliminate bonuses to executives. That means that this money went to lower level workers. Also, the bonuses were the total paid over the entire year. Meaning it includes first quarter bonuses. Before the recession hit. And above all else, the banks paid bonuses based on profits and reaching certain benchmarks. This is how the banking and financial industry compensates its workforce. From the top all the way down.
I fear that Obama does not understand capitalism. Or, more sinisterly, I fear he wishes to do away with capitalism. One news report mentioned he chastised Citigroup for its proposal to purchase a $50 million jet. But think about this for a second. How many people does it take to build a jet? How many people were paid for their labor to design, manufacture and assemble the pieces that become a jet? Isn't that the whole idea of his stimulus plan is to get people working?

In that same news report is a quote from our newly crowned leader:

"The American people understand that we've got a big hole that we've got to dig ourselves out of," Obama said. "But they don't like that people are digging a bigger hole even as they are being asked to fill it up."

All too true. But government is digging a canyon. And Mr. President, that will become the responsibility of our children's children's children to fill. Is that how you want your 4 years to be remembered?

Resolved

2009-01-17T00:10:00.002-05:00

As I sat here tonight, I realized that the month is half over and I haven't talked about resoultions. The truth is, this year I mostly made resolutions for those around me. I figure that most would benefit from the keen observations and insights I could give them. I learned two things:

1. The list of resolutions for others is perhaps longer than most find comfortable.
2. Some really do not wish to have their shortcomings pointed out. A few were most inhospitable, tearing up the list before getting much past the first couple.

It is really a shame how some would rather stay the way they are.

New Year, New Start

2009-01-08T17:29:00.002-05:00

Well, I have resumed posting daily to Orlando Daily Photo. And while I was at it, I changed up the whole template. I was having issues - like widgets duplicating themselves, not being able to add new widgets - with the last template. The only buggy thing with this one is that I cannot get the label cloud to work. O well. Let me know what you think!

Introspection

2008-12-29T22:02:00.003-05:00

I certainly do not want to end with a depressing post for the year. Still, I am using this blog as a cathartic release right now. This is more of a way to let some thoughts bubble to the surface so I can face them.

I am a December baby. (And no, I was not born the day Pearl Harbor was atttacked. *cough* Dubber *cough*) I endured growing up with "slash gifts" - Bday/Christmas gifts. I vowed then that my birthday would be my day; a day for me.  Yes, I spend it with family, but I take a chunk of time to think about the past and the future. A sort of stopping the car, stretching the legs and checking the map. Trouble is since 40, the map of what's ahead seems like a short trip.  Mortality looms, looking over my shoulder...
This year, I spent my birthday in a hospital room, facing Mortality as it looked at both me and my son. No, Chase was never in any danger. But seeing him lay there for hours on end, while most any day he hardly stops moving even to eat, scared me more than I could ever describe. I was completely unprepared for this. And it broke me. It crushed me. (In his short time on earth, he has already spent more time in the hospital than I have in my lifetime.)
Then, Mortality took a road trip. My parents recently moved to Alabama; partly to be closer to my brother and not so far from me. They are moving their stuff slowly and deliberately. They bought a truck and a trailer so that they can take their time in settling into their new house. A few days after Chase left the hospital, I got a call from my brother. He hardly ever calls me; I usually have to call him. He just had a call from Dad. They had been in accident. All he knew for sure was that they had gone over an icy bridge near Canton and the trailer and truck sort of jack-knifed. When they hit dry pavement on the other side, Dad had over corrected and they flipped the truck onto the passenger side. While Dad said he was not hurt, Mom was. She had several cuts and her neck was hurt. He would call me when he knew more.
Within fifteen minutes, he called again to say that Mom had a broken bone in her neck. She was stable (that word again), but that they were taking her to Parkland in Dallas to do a CT scan. All I could do is lay awake all night (something I was very used to doing) and pray.
The next morning brought with it the call that she had indeed broken the first vertebra, but had not injured her spinal column. She had full use of her limbs, etc. She also had ruptured a vein beside it, but that surgery was not necessary. Aspirin to thin the blood would do. Bruised and cut from all of the glass from the broken passenger window were the only other injuries. She was out of the hospital in two days, but has to wear a neck brace for three months.
It is notable that my Dad has driven millions of miles. And that is not an exaggeration. During that time, I only know of one ticket that he has received. And this is very first accident he has had. I am hoping that this will be his only accident.
During all this time, I felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane. Just one wrong move, and I would be sucked up and into oblivion. It was all too overwhelming. But I internalized it. I only let bits of it to assail me during the day. At night was a different story. I knew what my Dad was going through. He never left his wife's side. He did not even consider getting checked out until his wife was in the clear and there were others to be there for her. Even with the risk of having internal injuries, his agony at causing harm to her consumed him. He was living out a fear he, and I, face every time we take the family anywhere: I do not want to bring harm (or death) to others while being the one driving the car. His dread was now a reality.

It seems strange to note that I still feel like a 28 year-old. And Chase and I play more like 2 kids. There is no 40 year difference with us. I'm just taller. It was just that with my birthday and the coming new year, I realized that I am coming upon 25 years since graduating from high school.  I have been out of public schools double the amount of time I spent going. No, I do not plan on going to any reunions. Still, a thought hit me right between the eyes. There are those with whom I went to school, some that I saw during all twelve of those years, that will have 2 year-old grandchildren. Perhaps some of the grandkids could be older than Chase. I am in no way saying that I regret my choice. In all honesty, I am certainly pleased and feel blessed with having Chase now. I rather think that if we had children soon after getting married, it would have put too much stress on us. It potentially could have ended our marriage. That would have been years of therapy - "I was the reason my parents divorced."

I know that this has been a bit of rambling. Like I said, most of this is a release of thoughts and feelings that I keep inside. I know that it isn't healthy. I started writing some of this in a journal. But the idea that someone may read this gives it more weight. And takes more of the weight off of me.
So here I am facing a dichotomy:  A happy, healthy life with a loving family, all the while feeling like it could all end so swiftly and mercilessly. All I can do is thank God for one more day of living.

Hospital is a Four-Letter Word

2008-12-22T21:52:00.002-05:00

It has been a long last couple of months. So many things happened in such a short span of time, that even now I am still trying to recover. Without going into all of the plot twists in our lives, I do want to use this space to unload some of it.
The most impactful event was the hospitalization of Chase. The week before Thanksgiving, he developed a cough and a fever. A doctor visit found nothing in his lungs, but an ear infection. Some antibiotics were prescribed and we went on our way. But four days later, he was not better. He was actually doing much worse, and not wanting to eat or drink. A call to the after hours number led to speculation of meningitis. With that, we headed to the ER.
After a few hours it was determined Chase had Pneumonia (and I spelled it correctly without using spellcheck!) as well as still having an infection. That turned out to be Cytomegalovirus, or "baby mono" as it was affectionately referred to by one of the nurses. He was admitted that night and put on an IV, as he was becoming dehydrated.
The kicker with Chase is that he is allergic to Amoxycillin. So that meant trying to find something that works, but doesn't turn him into a leopard. The initial prescription had no effect on the infection. And several antibiotics later, we found three others to which he is allergic. In the end, the one medicine that worked turned out to be one of the most expensive on the market today. He has/had to continue taking it even after we left the hospital, and the 100mg that came home with us would have cost us over $1000 had the insurance not covered it.
So, after 10 anxious days and 9 sleepless nights at the hospital, we came home worn out and needing time to recuperate. And really, we were/are out of sync with the rest of the world. In actuality the entire event lasted over 3 weeks. Chase has proved more resilient than I, as he is back to his old self - minus a few pounds - and (hopefully) ready to get back into his daily routine. I still haven't gotten back to speed. I cannot get a restful night's sleep. I still wake up about every two hours, following the regimen of the nurses' rounds. And yes, compelled to check on him at least once a night. I thought the feel of an actual bed would stop it, but it hasn't.

In an attempt to make light of the situation, I did come up with a couple of Top 6 lists. If anything, they will be cathartic for me. I hope you enjoy.

Top 6 Things I Hate About Hospitals

2008-12-22T21:34:00.002-05:00

1. Old Nurses - I realize that they have seen EVERYTHING, including Washington crossing the Delaware, but why do they have to give such attitude when you ask questions? Fortunately, we only had to deal with one of these with Chase. It was during the first or second day, and we really had not had any good explanations about Chase yet. Her face just showed annoyance to any question asked. She seemed most annoyed when I asked if there was another nurse that could take care of Chase. *sheesh*
2. The term "Stable" - I guess that's more efficient and more clinical than saying, "Well, he's not getting any worse, but he's really not getting better..."
3. Seeing any child hospitalized - It's horrible, but there were several times I thanked God that Chase was not any worse than the dozens of kids we had to pass by every day. And then you feel guilty. And you say a silent prayer for those kids. And you hug your child.
4. W_a_i_t_i_n_g - For the doctor to come by. For the next drug being pumped into your son to work. For test results to come back. For mystery diseases to finally reveal themselves. For discharge paperwork.
5. Bad cable reception and no Internet - If you check into any hotel, you get these things standard. And they are no way near as costly a night like a hospital room.
6. The physical toll - Crappy food or fast food eaten on the fly, lousy sleeping arrangements, very little sleep either from nurses waking you or simply worrying, and mental exhaustion wear your body down.

Top 6 Things I Like About Hospitals

2008-12-22T21:12:00.002-05:00

1. Older Doctors - They may make you wait, but when they get there they do take the time. And have no problem giving you the answers to your questions.
2. Young Nurses - Okay, not because they are perky and cute. They really are great around kids. They are exactly perfect for working in Pediatrics. (And because they are perky and cute!)
3. Visits from sports players and Ronald McDonald - They don't have to do it, but it is so great that they do!
4. Wheelchair rides around the hospital - The change of scenery, even if it is to the x-ray room, is still refreshing and welcome.
5. All the latex-free gloves you can stuff in your pockets. - The way I look at it, I've paid for them, many times over.
6. Everyone finally going home together. - A house is never so empty as when you are in it alone. Especially when you don't know when your child will be able to come home. But, that all disappears instantly when a child's laughter fills it again.

But They Are 60 Cents Cheaper!

2008-10-15T15:50:00.002-04:00

My Addiction; my Habit; the elixer that makes life bearable; that bubbly, caffeinated nectar of the gods called Dr. Pepper has been savagely brutalized by these economic hard times. The standard 12 piece refrigerator pack has shrunk to an 8 pack. Would this still have happened if the bailout had come quicker?

Thank You, Dubber

2008-10-15T14:20:00.000-04:00

For the photo! I needed a new image, especially in light of feeling like a whale...

Mini Me Mimicry

2008-10-12T17:51:00.000-04:00

Me - Waiting for Kat, in a T-shirt and shorts, hands in pockets.
Chase - Beside me, in a T-shirt and shorts.

Chase decides to stand like Daddy, but has no pockets. He lifts his shirt and sticks his hands in shorts at each hip. Looks at Daddy and both smile. Then, to complete the look, he sticks out his stomach as far as he can. Looks at Daddy and only Chase laughs. And Daddy realizes what a poor role model he truly is.

Salads have become my meal of choice.

Adrift

2008-10-09T23:59:00.002-04:00

For the past few months, it seems like I have had little/no control over my life. It is a sickening feeling. I struggle everyday to quit fighting it and give it all to God. I don't need to know exactly where this is all heading, but I do so want to know the next few steps.

I saw a painting by an artist named Rodney White two days ago. He uses sayings and vintage signage to create works of art. Most everything he does has some kind of inspiration. The one I saw really gave me a boost. It read, "Trust that the wind knows where it is going."

Thank you. I know I will still struggle a little. But hopefully each day will be easier.

Emeril Green

2008-09-26T15:45:00.002-04:00

If you have the Planet Green channel, check out Emeril Green. For a non-cook like me, I have learned quite a bit. (But that is the only show I've completely watched on Planet Green. The rest of their shows have not grabbed me.)

See? Short, to the point, and posted.

I'm Ba-ack!

2008-09-26T00:08:00.001-04:00

Alright, so I cannot figure a topic worth writing about. I could rant about Obama, but why waste my, and your, time. Really, politics in general is simply flat.
I could write about my day, but that is even more boring! (I did eat jambalaya for breakfast. Hmm. Boring.) Nothing I deem important ever seems to happen. And that is probably a good thing.

Still, there has to be something worth writing; and in turn worth reading.

I found a blog by a girl/lady/woman/female named Kelly. She calls herself a reluctant pastor's wife. She is insightful, inspiring and humorous. But the one thing I really liked was her micro-blog. Yes, I know it is Twitter. *shudder* But that, coupled with Kelley's Twittering, got me thinking. I don't have to be verbose on all my posts. In fact, limiting a post to a text message might free up my creativity.

I just hope I don't have to resort to what I had for breakfast...

Edit 4/1/09: It seems that Kelly, for personal reasons, has taken her blog down.

Uninspired

2008-08-21T22:57:00.002-04:00

I know I haven't posted anything in some time. In fact, this post has changed at least 4 times. One of the last permutations involved "mommy bloggers". And since I have a rather to-the-point way of writing, I was sure there would be a couple who may feel a bit attacked. (Hi, Lisa! Hi, Kelley!) The gist of it was there are so many mommies who get so caught up in keeping their kids safe, they don't let kids be kids.
But the worst part is that it was uninspired. All my writing is falling into the same banal fodder. It isn't writer's block. It really is worse than that.
*meh*
Maybe there will be a topic to rant or opine about soon.

Top 6 - A Celebration of Cars

2008-07-17T21:51:00.002-04:00

So, I was watching Cars again, for about the 400th time. With Chase, at least for most of it. He's obsessed with construction vehicles, so this holds his fascination for a bit. And Daddy gets a breather right before nap time. For both of us...
Anyway, I was thinking about the price of gas, and wondering if this movie was scheduled to come out, say around Christmas, if it would garner as big an audience as it did back in 2006. Would we as a society be put off by a movie about cars and racing? Then one of the songs started. And I realized that we celebrate our cars, no matter what. Both in film and in music.
So, with $4.00 a gallon for gas, here is my Top 6 list for celebrating all things automotive:
1. Life is a Highway - Tom Cochran, 1991 (And the song that inspired the list)
2. I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar, 1984 (A must on any car song list, even if they have raised the speed limit.)
3. Little Duece Coupe - Beach Boys, 1963 (They invented the car song genre.)
4. Drive - The Cars, 1984 (Yeah, I know. Way too obvous a choice)
5. Hot Rod Lincoln - Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen, 1972 ("Son, you're gonna' drive me to drinkin' If you don't stop drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln")
6. Little Red Corvette - Prince, 1983 (Chevy used the song as part of an ad campaign where the slogan was "They don't write songs about Volvos". I had to include it in my list just for that!)
Right now, I want to get into a Mustang, crank up the stereo, and drive until I'm out of gas!

So, let me know. Agree? Disagree? Your choices?

My Things To Do List

2008-07-09T15:00:00.000-04:00

It has been one hell of a month. An impromtu move is perhaps the most frustrating and exhausting thing that you can do with a two-year old. Hastily packed boxes with vague descriptions (at least on the ones I packed) coupled with a small someone obsessed with unpacking them before the movers arrive has meant that the unpacking process has been just as much fun.
Now July is one-third over and I have several unfinished projects in disarray. This is my Things To Do list for the next few days:
1. Complete 5 applications for teaching positions for the fall.
2. Send out reference forms to those who kindly have agreed to speak well of me.
3. Complete 4 to 6 drawings for a concept called "I Got It!"
4. Finish a second draft to a children's book called "The Flirds of Borida". (I cannot decide if I like Flird or Flyrd better.)
5. Crank out a few posts to this blog.
6. Get back to a daily posting on Orlando Daily Photo.

All this on top of a regular job, a little boy who needs pony rides, and a loving wife who needs small breaks from a little boy.

*sigh*

I think "Take a nap" just moved to the top of the list...

It's a Guy Thing

2008-06-07T23:58:00.002-04:00

Today, my son took that next step to manhood. Belching.

Not a burp. Not one of those chesty, breathy kinds of release of pressure. No. This was a belch. Deep from the pit of the gut, belch.
It did surprise him. He was not sure what had occured. Was it good? Was it bad? He looked to me for guidance.
I gave him a knowing smile, took a deep breath, and answered his with one of my own.

And then we laughed together. He laughed until he fell over. I wiped a proud tear away from the corner of my eye.

Today, we bonded. Bonded in a way no female could ever understand. And now I wait for another of those moments meant to strengthen that bond. Both those that involve bodily functions and those that don't.

Yeah, it's a Guy Thing.

Best Advice Ever

2008-05-21T02:05:00.000-04:00

From my grandfather, many years (30 maybe?) ago:
If someone offers you a mint, take it. They may know something you don't.

Another, more philosophical gem:
Usually the smartest person in the room is the one who says the least.

Which leads me to the question: What is the BEST ADVICE EVER?

I Miss MST3K

2008-05-12T22:54:00.003-04:00

There is not one single show on any channel that I miss more than Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's been perhaps 10 years since it was on? It was inventive, sarcastic and above all, damn funny. It was not really mean or mean-spirited. It did not attack or debase anyone. It simply made fun of movies the same way any one of us would. If, say, we were forced to watch bad 50's movies with a couple of our quick-witted smart ass friends. Or with a couple of robots.
I don't know if I would watch it with my child, but truly, there isn't any comedic show now that I could/should/would show him. At least he would enjoy Tom Servo and Crow. And I know he would laugh at the right moments. Even if he didn't get the joke, he would get the punchline.

Naked Spinning Ballerinas I Have Known

2008-04-28T13:55:00.003-04:00

I haven't spent as much time online recently. Instead, I have been diving headlong into HTML and CSS. It is amazing how little I know about either. I decided I want to create a site for my Orlando Daily Photo blog that would allow for advertising. More on that another time.

So, I just went through some email accounts that I haven't cleared out in awhile. A couple were at least 3 months full. Much to my surprise, there were only a few viagra ads. Much to my chagrin, there were quite a few viral emails from family and friends. Once past my "Why the hell are you sending me this?" reaction, I decided I need to respond. The question is, how?

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Well, maybe one to two. I have thought about telling them to set up a stumbleupon or mixx account. But I am sure they know I won't visit their sites. No matter even if I promise to do so daily. I don't want to call them directly. This will validate to them that I actually opened and read it! And obviously, after sharing my opinions through writing caused such a stir, emailing them might not be the best.

Instead, I think I will simply email these nice people the same exact things they send me. Maybe I will send it twice. Or three times! I know that it sounds stupid, but my logic is this:
First, they must love getting and reading these. So maybe they will enjoy seeing them again. And again. And then again.
Second, maybe by the third time that ballerina will finally spin the other way for them! What joy that will be! (And why the hell is she naked? Does that help in the spinning process?
Third, maybe (hopefully) they will see what it is like to be bombarded with inane images, stories, jokes and quizzes.

I will let you know how it goes!

Web 2.0 Meets the Lawyers

2008-04-20T14:58:00.007-04:00

Social Media sites do one thing: They get people together so they can share the things that matter to them. And the people form groups of friends or networks based upon common interests. It is a fascinating venture in that the site is all user-generated material. The user essentially does all the work. The site simply is the meeting spot. Some add advertising as a way to generate money. Some sites, like Mixx and StumbleUpon, are ad free. How they do this, I have no idea. I know not everything on the internet is about money.

Then I found this little gem of a site called SueEasy. You, as a litigant, can scroll down through the list of class action law suits. If you don't find one, you can add yours. Or if it is a case involving just you in a civil or criminal issue, you can click on whatever speciality you need. Then, a lawyer gets in contact with you. No searching yellow pages. No asking strangers. No google searches.
In a way, this is a branch off from the social media sites. The user, or litigant, finds someone (lawyer in this case) or group (class action suit) that they wish to join. A friendship or partnership is established. Each party gets something they want from the site.
At once, I am disturbed by this and yet, a part of me finds this ingenious. Yes, there will be some ethical issues. But these will be policed by the users, both the litigants and lawyers, themselves, as well as the site administrators. Just like in any social media site. They have an image to uphold. And they certainly don't want to end up being a class action lawsuit on their own site!

This brings me to the big picture part of this: What other services can use Web 2.0 in their business model?

I can see this being used in a teacher/student environment. There is some application of this in the real estate arena. They simply don't have a formal version like this. And certainly nothing that crosses company lines.
I keep thinking there is a money-making idea with this. It is a matter of finding the right market for this.

An Apology. Sort of. Not Really.

2008-04-09T23:13:00.005-04:00

Alright, listen.

I have taken a little time to reflect upon my recent comments on other people's blogs. Really just two blogs. One blog chose simply to delete my comments (as well as several others) that went against his argument. Even after posting them AND responding to them!
Without giving him any credit here, the post in question was how gas prices were out of control because we invaded Iraq. And in the very same paragraph said that we had invaded Iraq for their oil fields. I, and several others who had a dissenting view to this, posited that if we truly went there for oil, then if anything gas prices should have stayed the same, if not dropped. This doublespeak continued even with his responses. It soon became clear that the author really had nothing but the Democratic playbook of responses. I don't even think he had fully thought out any of the stuff he typed into his blog.
Now, I did enjoy the challenge and it was fun to see others put down how they felt. I really do not care if he did delete my comments. I simply will not give him "free advertising" by posting his site here.

While I was at it, I jumped into the middle of another person's opinion piece. Kelley has a great blog full of personal style and beliefs. She is thoughtful and thought provoking. And while I have yet to meet her (soon, very soon...), I count her as a friend.
Yet I felt compelled to comment on how she views other people. I was tired; it was after 1 a..m my time when I started. And I tried to be concise. That only compounded everything. Instead, it came off more as an attack. I re-read my comment and realized something. No one can actually hear me.
[sarcasm]
Other realizations: The Sun and the Moon both travel east to west. Tabby cats are a lot like tigers, only smaller.
[/sarcasm]
In truth, I am very deliberate with my words. I try to think through my thoughts before talking or writing. I sometimes rewrite comments and posts several times (even breaking out the dictionary and thesaurus) to make sure I put down just the right words. But even then, no one can tell my inflections.

Anywho, I did warn of this when I started this blog. I guess what I'm trying to say is: Kelley, I am so very sorry for crashing your party and french kissing you. But I will not promise that I won't do it again.

Feeling Like A Fool

2008-04-01T23:27:00.002-04:00

We are all off this week - Spring break and vacation. So we are doin' the tourist thing. Theme parks, points of interest, etc. Today was SeaWorld's new waterpark called Aquatica. It was very fun. Chase loves the water, unless it's in his face. We arrived about 10:30am and stayed until 5:30pm. Most of the time was spent in the small child area, but that was alright. Being a non-swimmer and borderline irrationally fearful of drowning kind of limits what you would do at a waterpark in the first place.
But the kicker is how it all ended today.
The set up: I bought sunscreen. 30 spf. Waterproof. The spray on type to help cover better. And yes, I even put it on. Twice during the course of the day. The problem? Never buy private label sunscreen.
We "saved" money by buying the CVS version of the Aveeno sunscreen. Somehow, this stuff does not work. At all. Kat and I are dealing with some painful burns. All the money saved was spent, and then some, on products containing aloe and lidocaine. Sweet cooling relief.
And the kicker? On the way home the radio personality reminded me it was April 1st. The conspiracy paranoiac wondered if this was a prank by the CVS company. Maybe. Anyway, I'm taking that impotent emulsion back. After my burn subsides. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing their prank worked.

Recession and Commerce

2008-03-26T16:17:00.004-04:00

So, again, I find that the daily barrage of news that we are in a recession seem to run counter to what people are doing. This time around it is on the national level. Picture three talking head pundits arguing about what people should do with their money. The consensus leaned on sitting on your money. Don't take risks. One even went so far to argue that, in the short term at least, many should not spend needlessly on big ticket items. It was really a bit of doom and gloom.
Then the commercial break comes. First is the etrade baby (he cracks me up!) touting how easy it is to invest. Then, next is the guy who puts his social security number everywhere, and tells you how he can protect your identity. This is followed by ads for a flat screen television, a luxury car, and a travel website.
It really made me wonder: Which is more persuasive? Are we more swayed by "experts" or by advertisers?

Now We Are Two!

2008-03-20T13:11:00.002-04:00

Chase turns two today. It is a sort of sad/happy moment. He is no longer a baby. He really hasn't been for awhile now, but this milestone is usually the delineation between baby and toddler. That is the sad part.
The happy part is he is growing and developing daily before our eyes! He is a cross between a tape recorder and dictator. I realize that you have to be careful what you say in front of him, but the real problem is that the rest of the world does not. Going shopping has taken on a new aspect. And usually the people with vulgar language have kids of their own! That is messed up!
The fun part is still getting him to control his emotions. And I know that will take much more time and patience. The little dictator becomes indignant if you try to do something he does not want you to do. Last week, Kat borrowed a Laurie Berkner DVD from the library. He loves music of all sorts. (He will stop what he is doing to listen to the themesong of whatever TV show is on. He then goes back to business when it ends.) So, one night while Kat was at a rehearal, I put it in. I tried to get him to dance with me, and began moving in the geeky/awkard way that I dance. He commanded, "No dance, Daddy!" But I didn't listen. That is when he went nuclear and screamed! Then he started crying and said, "No dance!" When I stopped, he pointed to the couch and said, "Daddy, sit here!" I did as I was commanded.
This week he is moving up to a new class. It is much larger and has more kids. So far, he is not adjusting as well as he had in the past to the change. But this will not last long. Most dictators love new worlds to conquer. And more people to rule!

Mostly Cloudy

2008-03-15T01:04:00.003-04:00

I found a great widget to create a Label Cloud. I added it to my Daily Photo blog. But, I had a little trouble adding it to this one. If I had any idea what I was actually doing, it would have gone much smoother.
I also went through and added labels to my previous posts. In some cases, it was like reading my own posts for the first time. Time does give you a more critical eye. And side note: I gave 2 posts the same title. One would think Blogger would have an alert that you are duplicating.
Anywho, let me know what you think!

S - IALD

2008-03-13T00:00:00.002-04:00

Do you know how frustrating it is to always be the smartest person in the room, day after day?

Actually, no. You don't.

Dumb, Stupid Dubber

2008-03-10T22:43:00.008-04:00

Okay, Dubber is not dumb or stupid. I am simply tranferring my angst and anger! Dumb, stupid tests...
Why do I torture myself? Just because there is a kooky test or puzzle, doesn't mean I have to click on it. It doesn't even mean I have to finish it!
Yet, here is the result of my nerd test:

Now I have always known, deep down inside, was a geek that would sit and read just about every comic book ever made by DC Comics, (Only Spider-man ever garnered my attention at Marvel.) all the while the old Buck Rogers and Battlestar Galactica tv series would be playing in the background. Still, I managed to satiate that urge with "real" books and Star Wars. Little did I realize that by doing so, I unwittingly created a rather balanced inner child.
Then this Nerd Test! This damnable scourge has now revealed this to the world! It has unleashed the child in the same manner a young Wart managed to pull the sword Excalibur from the stone!
Yes, I am your Cool Nerd King! Bow before me, ye awkward Dorks! Kneal and kiss my ring, ye nerds!
Trust well that I will be a benevolent ruler. We shall discuss how R2-D2 is the true main character of "Star Wars"! We shall argue as to which is faster, Superman or The Flash! But never, will I impose upon you the remake of "Bionic Woman", unless of course you find her hawt!

Our first order of business for the Round Table: "The Blair Witch Project" is a modern retelling of "Hansel and Gretel". Discuss!

I Aspire To Be Neal Boortz

2008-03-07T23:37:00.004-05:00

Neal Boortz gets to rant and rave for 4 hours on our local radio station. He covers the gamut from national topics to the issues of everyday life and imparts his opinion with intelligence and common sense.
I came across his Top Ten Thoughts for 2008, and had to share.
Number 10. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6. Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax Cut saves you $0.30?
Number 2. In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world Is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008: 'Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow'.

I think Number 6 is my favorite. *giggle*
Oh, and John, you should really like him. He's a Texas A&M grad and (former) lawyer.

Resolution Redux

2008-03-05T22:48:00.002-05:00

I had planned on checking out how my resolutions were going on the first of this month. I was too caught up in my R2-D2 post to really put any thought on them. Be that as it may, here is a snapshot on my progress:

1. Exercise more. As I stated, vague enough. I try to do some kind of exercise a week, and, since I did nothing before, this one is a lock.
2. Eat healthier. This has been an issue the past couple of weeks. With a nasty virus attack, I have not been back to normal in the G.I. tract. Without gory details, it really does not matter what I eat. (Sonic onion rings Sunday night! *drool*) Within 3 or 4 hours, well, you get the idea. *Bonus:* I dropped 20 pounds!
3. Enjoy more wines. Salud! Still not a red fan, though.
4. Write 500 words a day. I really only average about 250 to 300. Still, each day I gain!
5. Post one photo a day on Orlando Daily Photo. I have missed a few days so far. Daily posting is a tough thing. In 8 months, I have posted over 215 pictures. That means going out and finding something to shoot and posting. It has been very time consuming. Especially with an almost 2 year-old. Still, it has been very fun and very rewarding.
6. Post at least 6 times a month on this blog. So far, so good!

Now, I know these were too easily attainable. They were more about creating the habits and maintaining discipline. I knew with Chase, I have to do better health-wise and hold myself accountable, as later I will have to do the same with him. And I want to be the example.

R2-D2 is THE Most Powerful Entity in the Star Wars Universe

2008-02-29T22:48:00.010-05:00

Okay, so most of you know that Star Wars is my all-time favorite movie. I first saw it for my birthday in December of 1977. We stood in line (yes, there were still lines to see it) at the old NorthPark Cinema in Dallas. Cold coupled with the anticipation made the wait unbearable for me, and I am sure impossible for my parents. But once it started, nothing else mattered. And when it ended, nothing could stop me from thinking, living, talking, breathing Star Wars. I read the books, bought the toys (with help from Mom and Dad), and acted out every scene. And when it finally came out on video, watched it again and again until I had every line memorized
Fast forward 31 years and I am still entranced by it and the other five. I cannot wait to share these with my son. To have a lightsabre duel or three with him. And, to see it again for the very first time.
Now, I finished watching Revenge of the Sith today, and I realized something that turned the whole of the series on its ear. Maybe you already realized this, and I am slow on the uptake. Anyway, I had that moment of epiphany right after Senator Organa hands over the droids to Captain Antilles. He orders C-3PO's memory wiped. It is an amusing moment. And even R2 gets in a chuckle. But, it hit me. Why not wipe R2-D2's memory, also? He has been more a part of the happenings than C-3PO. He is even one of only a handful of characters in all six parts. Why would you keep his memory intact?
His Story and History
Because R2-D2 is in fact what the story is about. Not Anakin. Not Luke. Not Obi-wan, Leia, Yoda or the Emperor. They are but pawns and supporting members for R2-D2. We first see R2 as one of a chorus of astromech droids on the royal starship fleeing the Naboo trade blockade. While his counterparts are picked off one by one, R2 is able to repair the shields and the ship is able to escape. This is the first of several times he is shown as savior when the humanoid characters are in a jam. He is presented to Amidala and everyone is quite taken by this little droid. Later in the movie, when the group return to Naboo, R2 gets into one of the fighters. Then, he is joined by the young Anakin. When Anakin powers up the fighter, he says that it is locked into autopilot and they go flying off into the dogfight with the trade federation droid ships. It is only after reaching the battle that R2 is able to disengage the autopilot. And Anakin is forced to fly and fight for his life. It is important to note that R2 accompanies Qui-Gonn to Mos Espa as we carries the technical details for the parts they need. He is in the background for most of the important moments throughout this episode and the episodes to follow.
In Episode 2, it is some 10 years later and R2 is still in the service of now-senator Amidala. While acting as her protector, he misses the introduction of two deadly worm-like creatures and Anakin must save her. Later we find R2 saving Padme from molten metal by stopping the droid production line on Geonosis. He also rebuilds C-3PO who has become parts of two battle droids.
Episode 3 begins with R2 helping with the rescue of Chancellor Palpatine. He shows more resourcefulness in that he defeats 2 of the larger, more powerful battle droids handily. And creates a diversion for the Jedis after they are caught by General Grievous. After this though, he is more of a spectator to the happenings. He and C-3PO are handed over to Captain Antilles for use on the blockade runner.
We jump some 18 to 20 years with Episode 4, where we find that he is accompanying Leia on her way to bring back Obi-Wan to Alderaan. The plan goes awry, but R2 along with C-3PO make it to Tatooine. He meets up with Luke and soon begins his search for Kenobi. While on the Death Star, he finds Leia is aboard, saves the gang from the trash compactor, and manages to get the Death Star plans to the main rebel base in time for them to utilize the information. He goes with Luke to help destroy the Death Star.
In Episode 5, he plays spectator to Luke's training. But once getting to Cloud City, he helps Chewbacca, Leia and Lando get to the Millennium Falcon, rebuild C-3PO, and restart the hyperdive engines.
With Episode 6, R2 and 3PO are given as gifts to Jabba the Hutt. At the right moment, R2 shoots Luke his lightsabre and helps Leia escape. He then goes with the strike force to Endor to disengage the shield generator. Thereby rendering the second Death Star, as well as the Emperor, defeated.
The Conjecture
Droids are machines. Made by humanoids. Created to do tasks that the humanoids cannot or will not do. Droids are property. Droids are soulless. Droids may be able to think for themselves, but they are inferior to the humanoids. Droids are seen as slaves. To that end, droids are programmed to enjoy their slavery. They will obey the rules set for them.
But R2D2 has tapped into a source of programming that has allowed him to understand and manipulate the world, and universe, around him. He is unassuming, non-threatening, and melts into the background until he needs to make his move.
It is very interesting to note that Naboo was the homeworld for Palpatine. I do not think that R2-D2 is on Naboo by coincidence. I think he is there to track Palpatine. Somewhere along the way, R2 has come across the Sith master. Whether it was during Palpatine's apprenticeship with Darth Plagueis, or simply while at a coffee shop on Coruscant, R2 sensed his evilness. Maybe even sensed the grave threat that Palpatine truly was.
What? Sensed his evilness? Like "through the force" sensed? Yes. The true nature of R2-D2 is that he is tapped into force. But not in the same way that the Jedi or Sith tap into the force. R2-D2 has reached a level of artificial intelligence that goes beyond consciousness. He found the energy field that is created by all living things. Yes, I realize that R2-D2 is not a living thing. But he does use energy. Our definition of the force is given to us by a living being, Obi-Wan. Who then dies! And then continues to "live" in the force!
R2-D2 utilizes the energy of the force to manipulate the events that ultimately bring balance to the force.
The Confirmation
Palpatine had for years worked behind the scenes with the Trade Federation to create the blockade on Naboo. His lust for power, a Sith attribute, coupled with his disgust for the ineffectual rule of the Chancellor was the driving force for his ambition. R2-D2's awareness of this was hampered in that he was bound to his programming. He cannot kill a humanoid. He could not move directly against Palpatine. Moving his way into the Queen's starship, he not only fixed the shields, but he created the leak in the hyperdrive! He did this to delay the Queen's arrival and to let others try to work out the dispute. He also knew that there was a strong presence in the force on Tatooine. If the Jedi found the presence first, it would be a blow to the Sith. In a sort of in your face move, R2 manipulates the situation again when they are back on Naboo. He gets in the fighter BEFORE Anakin does. He knew Anakin would be easily drawn to it. Further, R2 programmed the autopilot and forced Anakin into the battle. He was sure that the sight of this strong presence in the hands of the Jedi would be a blow to the newly elected Chancellor Palpatine. But, when Palpatine seemed unworried, R2 knew he would have to keep watching him.
By Episode 2, R2 was more aware of how the future would play out. He sensed Ani's love for Padme, and knew it would lead to Ani's undoing. He allowed the attack on Padme. He had hoped her death would let Ani focus on his future as a Jedi. He could not kill her directly. He could not go against his programming. It did not go as planned, as Ani saved her. And on Geonosis, R2 unwittingly saves her. He was only trying to shut down the battle droid production line. He rebuilds C-3PO because he sees the him as a front man and ally. Another entity he can manipulate. He also begins to realize he will not be able to change future events as we had planned. He makes sure he can stick close to Anakin if he is to have any chance.
In Episode 3, R2 reluctantly aids Anakin and Obi-Wan in saving the kidnapped Palpatine. R2's goal also is to eliminate the threat of General Grievous. R2 knows with his destruction, the droid armies would fall immediately. This would end the war and end how close Ani would have to work with the Chancellor. In the end, hampered in being a droid (second class citizen with no rights and no voice), R2 can only watch as the Republic is ripped asunder and the Galactic Empire takes its place. Yet he does manipulate things in his favor. He gets Senator Organa to attach them to a ship that routinely moves back and forth to Coruscant. And he makes sure that his memory is not wiped.
Well, he cannot communicate with humanoids anyway, so why does that matter? Ah, but he can communicate and it does matter! In the Ep. 1, he and Ani have conversations on the fighter. And in Ep. 4 and 5, he does the same with Luke! And, it again shows that R2-D2 can manipulate minds. And not just the weak-minded. But also the Jedi and Sith. Palpatine was powerful enough to hide his abilities even in the presence of Jedis. R2 is even more powerful in this ability.
The limitations
If it weren't for his programming and the general dismissal of droids by humanoids, R2 would have been unstoppable. Really, I think of his programming to be more along the lines of the ethical code the Jedi follow. He is much more disciplined in following the guidance of the force than either of the Sith or Jedi.
The societal and political issues are the real limitation. The bartender in Ep. 4 - "We don't serve their kind!" - exemplifies how droids are viewed. R2 and 3PO must wait outside, while all sorts of creatures of Mos Eisley (a retched hive of scum and villany) are free to come and go as they please. And when you look at the groups that Count Dooku brings together to attack the Republic in Ep. 2 - the Trade Federation, the InterGalactic Banking Clan, the TechnoUnion, and the Commerce Guild - you find a group who see droids as dispensable pawns to enforce their ways. Droids are merely servants.
Overcoming the Limitations
If R2 had wanted to, he most likely could have attached himself to someone with political connections and proceeded to make changes that way. He must have sensed that Palpatine was too powerful to be removed through the political process. So he stayed with those who could stand against the Empire. He spent his time on gathering intelligence until the fateful day of coming across the plans for the Death Star. R2 must have also sensed that the growing unrest would need leadership. He went after the one he knew who others would rally around. A Jedi.
With everyone thinking they were extinct, a Jedi reappearing would be a catalyst for other systems to join the growing rebellion. And with the destruction of something so large and threatening like the Death Star, the Emperor would be seen as vulnerable. Defeatable.
And while it did not happen how R2 envisioned it, the effect was still felt. With Ep. 5 and 6, we see how the rebel forces grow and ultimately defeat the Emperor.
In the end, R2-D2 orchestrated a brilliant behind-the-scenes plan. He brought balance to the force. He brought down the Galactic Empire. He is the only character in the end who has lived and witnessed every event from the beginning. Indeed, R2-D2 is THE most powerful entity in the Star Wars Universe.

Global Smarming

2008-02-27T12:44:00.012-05:00

Yes, I know "Smarming" is not a word.
Okay, whenever I hear the words "global" and "warming", my eyes will glaze over and usually roll into my forehead. And that mainly happens because most of the evidence seems based on waht has happened over the past few years or decades. In truth, we have nothing in terms or long-term definitive proof of these claims. And really, there is no definitive proof against these claims either. I do think there are ways that we can improve how we protect the environment. Recycling and trash reduction are very valid and good things to do no matter how you feel about the issue.
But then, I found this article yesterday. Global warming sceptics buoyed by record cold. I am sure most of you have heard about it. Again, I am not saying that this should be taken as empirical evidence. And even the author of the piece makes this note:

"OK, so one winter does not a climate make. It would be premature to claim an Ice Age is looming just because we have had one of our most brutal winters in decades," writes Lorne Gunter in the National Post.
"But if environmentalists and environment reporters can run around shrieking about the manmade destruction of the natural order every time a robin shows up on Georgian Bay two weeks early, then it is at least fair game to use this winter's weather stories to wonder whether the alarmist are being a tad premature."
*smirk* Very well said.

Random Gibberish

2008-02-21T18:05:00.012-05:00

So I have a new layout and cannot think of something to blog about. Figures. Sort of like staring at a blank canvas that's already ornately framed. You don't want to put something in the center of the frame that will certainly degrade or lessen the effect.

O Hell, I'm gonna ruin it sooner or later. I guess I'll go with sooner.

Here are some items that, on their own, are not enough for even a lousy post. They seem utterly appropriate for an occasion such as this.

- If a man says something and a woman is not around to hear it, is he still wrong? Maybe I should set up a poll on this.
- When I had to have my gall bladder removed, the only annoying thing was having to wear that plastic cone. I mean really. Bite at your stitches once and it haunts you all your life. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week.
- Why do people ask me about Chase, only to interrupt me with anecdotes of their child, sort of related to whatever I was talking about? I am the one with the interesting child.
- The sound of one hand clapping is still much sweeter than the sound of one head slapping a glass door.
- Too many people put more time and effort into the wedding than they do the marriage.
- If a bunch of cats jumped on each other would you still call it a dogpile?

So there it is. Random gibberish. And now my new shiny template has been officially tainted.
(At least I didn't fill it with how my day was, or what I ate. I will let other blogs handle those kinds of topics!)

Time, time, time. See what's become of me...

2008-02-20T02:55:00.003-05:00

Well, here it is. All new! All improved! Now with 75% more drivel!

I finally got this template to work. Actually, I found it on another site that was not in Spanish. This is a Wordpress theme that has been modified to Blogger. There were several hoops to jump through, but I dig it. Yes, I know it's a Mac OS ripoff. Still, it is very classy looking.

One cool bit is the widget area. They are drag and drop. Really. Go try it! And with cookies enabled, when you set it to how you want to see it, it will reload that way on your system! (Yeah, I know. No one will actually use it. But it's still cool.)

Anyhow, let me know what you think. I will try out some different things in posts and such. Simply to get the bugs out. And just to see what else I can do.

Template Contemplation

2008-02-18T22:26:00.002-05:00

I really want a new template. I like Blogger. I like the tie-in to Google, even if others don't. But I really like the templates at Wordpress and Typepad. Well, some of them anyway.
My problem is that I am too lazy to learn all the coding it takes to make a new one. And none of the ones that I find have all the qualities I want. Or they are in Spanish, and I would have to modify it. And again, too lazy.
I found one that I liked. The price was right - free. But no matter how I loaded it and played with the code, I could not get the darn thing to look right. It had a great little button date area. It even had three columns. Maybe I will look harder at it soon.
So I have given up. At least for a while. And even have time for a post or two!

Duck! Plane!

2008-02-04T22:35:00.000-05:00

I saw the image before reading the article that appeared in the Daily Mail. It claims that this is the real deal. Yeesh!

See Chase Laugh!

2008-01-31T00:10:00.000-05:00

There is nothing so pure a child's laugh. It is genuine. And upon hearing it, you cannot help yourself but join in. I think our original purpose, what we are created for, is to laugh.

So after bath time, we always brush Chase's teeth. It is that sorta, kinda toothpaste that helps you develop the habit of brushing. It probably would run far, far away if it saw gingivitis. He likes it. Both the sensation and I am sure the flavor. He stands on one of those step/seat things so that he can see the sink and himself in the mirror. When he's done, he gets a Dixie-type paper cup with just enough water. He simply drinks the water.
But tonight, Mommy decided that he should learn to spit the water out. Now, Daddy warns that this is probably not a good thing. But Mommy knowledge is vastly superior, so she showed him how it's done.
*Swig of water. Spit.*
Chase cracks up. He found this so funny, that he begins laughing. Mommy repeats the process.
*Swig of water. Spit.*
Now he's laughing hard! He almost falls off his step thing. He laughs so hard he can barely catch his breath!
Once more: *Swig of water. Spit.*
He can barely contain himself. And we are laughing as hard as he is! After a several minutes of laughter, we put the cup down. It's time to clean up the toys and get ready for bed.

Right before bed time, we read a book. And we drink a glass of milk. But this time, Chase begins to laugh, and laugh hard. And then he takes a sip of milk. And he spits. And more laughter! Mostly from Daddy!
*Daddy does the "told ya so" dance*
I cannot wait until Mommy picks him up from "school" and hear how ALL the kids in the class are now spitting their drinks!

Poor Unfortunate Souls

2008-01-26T18:45:00.000-05:00

In the last couple of days, I came across a site called Re-Imagineering. It is a blog with the intent to bring light to as they call it "past missteps". The purpose then is that others in the management portion of the Walt Disney Company can then read these and work to "restore magic missing from the parks".
Most of the pieces written here do a great job critiquing how the Eisner era focused on how the theme parks could be milked for maximum revenue, after years of really languishing and maintaining a status quo following Walt Disney's death. The theme parks have moved away from what Walt originally intended. Their view is that we should get back to the original ideal.
I put all of this out in front so that you can decide if you wish to read the middle section. I am about to go on a rant. I am not concerned if anyone truly does read it the middle. I just wanted to get this off my chest. But I would like you to read the ending part. It is something that should scare the $#!+ out of every person in Canada and America. And this is the absolute perfect forum for this.

So, those that know me, I love most things Disney. And when you get right down to it, I love most Disney things that Walt actually was involved with. Nobody, and nothing really, is perfect. There is always room for improvement. But with Walt, he was almost spooky perfect when it came to running his company. From having the vision for creating so many firsts in animation, to taking an idea and working it out until it was great. He wasn't so much perfect, but driven to perfection. He expected and accepted nothing less than the absolute best work from himself and those that surrounded him. He also had an uncanny knack for knowing what people wanted. And he grew an empire that no one will ever be able to duplicate or improve upon.
Those who have come after him do not have that balance of creativity and leadership that Walt mastered. Michael Eisner brought much needed leadership, but no creativity. He made the company a powerhouse again and financially solvent. But his way of doing so left many feeling like he did not care about carrying on Walt's vision. This is most apparent in the theme parks.
Eisner made sure the parks made money. The exits of many rides are now little shops housing merchandise relating to the characters you just saw. There are several kiosks throughout pushing their timeshares. They are even labelled on the maps along with the attractions! It is a different style of management. Not all together wrong; the parks are more popular than ever. And certainly more profitable. And with the extra cash has come new parks and new attractions in the older ones. But those who prefer Walt's vision get bent out of shape by it.

The latest post at Re-Imagineering points out one of those ideas that did not work out. At the entrance of Epcot there are several monuments that are part of the Leave a Legacy program. For a fee you can have your image(s) and small inscription placed on one of the blocks. Sort of a tribute to your visiting Walt Disney World. It looks like a futuristic cemetery. I cannot believe that someone didn't stop this early on.
Now the author of the post is uses the moniker of "Mr. Banks", a character from Mary Poppins. It seems that the authors tend to think they need anonymity from their employer. And perhaps with a grain of truth, in that they tend to write from a haughty-I'm-right-you're-wrong attitude. Or it may be that they are in impotent, low positions where their views are not taken seriously, and this is the only way they feel their voice can be heard.
The author, to make his case, just cannot write this in a factual, erudite fashion. He has to insert this:
"Leave a Legacy is an element of the Disney Parks that divides guests rather than unites them. Those with enough status, bearing and disposable income can proudly shout, ‘I’m part of the legacy!” while those strained by the already steep entrance fee and unwilling to participate can’t help but be reminded that they’re not. Isn’t Epcot, indeed every Disney theme park, supposed to celebrate our common humanity rather than underline our differences?"
(Rant. Building.)
I felt compelled to respond to this. I pointed out that not only is this inflammatory, but simply a non-issue with this. He replied that he knew this, was unapologetic ,and that it was gratuitous. He simply wanted the reader to become enraged, and cry out, "Those Poor Unfortunate Souls!" The entire purpose is so that his bosses, which I am sure do not read or give credence to their blog, will come back to the ideals of Walt.
(Can't Control It. Gonna BLOW!)
Where has personal responsibility gone? Instead of facts, you have to stoop so low as to sway support to your cause through conjecture and lies? You have to project what you think someone "feels" into your missive?

(PRIMARY RANT)
The absolute worst part is that it feeds a dangerous mentality. We feel that the needs of a few supersede those of the whole. It is this mentality that says all kids must participate in whatever team sport they choose. All must play each game. Problem: Not all kids are good enough. Solution: We just won't keep score. Because that is fair to all. At least to those few who really can't play. Never mind that the good players cannot hone their skills through competition. It won't matter later on in life. The "loser" kids will continue into adulthood and never face competition. No, because when it's hiring time or promotion time, EVERYONE WILL BE TREATED THE SAME!
Wrong.
Think that I am taking this too far or going off-topic? No. To purport that divisiveness shouldn't be acceptable at a theme park is spin. You and others like you would love to see a world where "we" - insert any majority - are careful not to offend "them" - insert small group. The trouble is it is a very slippery slope. And one that continues to drag us down. Don't believe me? Read this wonderful bit of news from Canada. They are thinking about SETTING LIMITS ON FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION! And don't say that this is just a Canada thing. A step here. A step there. We walk closer to this daily with "political correctness" and frivolous lawsuits. Or when a radio personality is fired for saying something divisive? Who is to say what is divisive? And who gets the final say?

I take my freedoms very seriously. But with freedom comes a level of responsibility. To assert that the smaller group has rights above the whole is dangerous. And not without consequence.

I Love Trivial Things

2008-01-18T00:01:00.001-05:00

Probably because I'm a trivial guy. I check the stats on both of my blogs with fierce regularity. I like knowing where people are when they find me, both geographically and from what site that sent them here. The thing that puzzles me the most are how people find me when doing a google, yahoo or blog search.
Two of the most searched ways that I am found at Orlando Daily Photo is by "black cat" or "Cinderella's Castle" - both by images. These make perfect sense. They are straight forward. But I have been found 13 times by people searching "huge spider"! I always wonder what exactly these people are looking for, and if these are 13 hits from the same person.
But the strangest, most unbelievable search that has netted me 17 hits so far is a google search for "t". Yes, the letter "t"! Google says there are about 6,050,000,000 results. It may as well just say, "On just about every freakin' page on every freakin' website in the entire freakin' internet!" And yes, I crawled through 38 pages before I gave up. Searching the letter "t". John, I apologize right now for making fun of your searches. At least you have a method to your madness. And some very funny videos to boot.
Some good news does come out of this. I did find that when you search "orlando florida", I rank around top 40 to 50 sites (out of 16,900,000). When you search "Orlando fl", I am 20 to 30 out of 7,400,000. And when you search "orlando, fl, usa", I rank second only to Walt Disney World. How cool is that?
I know. Not very cool. Very trivial.

The Answer?

2008-01-16T19:49:00.000-05:00

The Question

2008-01-10T20:55:00.001-05:00

I heard this riddle several years ago. I believe it is attributed to Art Linkletter. I cannot confirm it.
The kicker is that something like 80 to 90% of kids under 10 years old will correctly answer it. However, only about 15% of adults get it correct. Are you ready?

What is greater than God, more evil than the Devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you will surely die.

I turned off comments to this. I will post the answer next week. If you cannot wait that long, you will just have to ask a first grader!

A Favorite Quote

2008-01-07T21:58:00.000-05:00

This has been attributed to many different sources. I do not know for a fact who the author is to give them proper credit. Be that as it may:

"They say such nice things about people at funerals that it makes me quite sad to realize that I will miss mine by just a few days."

Top 6 Times and Places I Would Visit

2008-01-06T22:36:00.000-05:00

I changed my major from architecture to graphic design after two years of college. That meant that I had way too many "history of" classes in both areas. The art side was better in that there was a focus on the cultures that produced the works instead of dryly talking about the art by itself. Still, both gave insights into some interesting moments and places. When I finally perfect my time machine, these are the first stops:

1. The pyramids of Giza - circa 2500 BC* I would love to see the actual construction of these structures.
*Um, yeah. How would you program a time machine to understand BC dates? Is Zero considered a year?
2. Machu Picchu, Peru - circa 1450 AD The Incans were far ahead of the dominant cultural/technological wave that moved across the Earth. To see the heart of their empire in its splendor, would give such insight into a world we can only speculate.
3. Roswell, New Mexico - July 7, 1947 Right, like you wouldn't want to know the truth. I probably would arrive a few days earlier. The government could have lied about the actual date, too!
4. Eiffel Tower - 31 March, 1889 Somehow I would wrangle an invite to be part of the inaugural celebration. (I would probably take a few for a spin in my time machine!)
5. Leonardo Da Vinci's studio - circa 1502 I could then answer definitively what caused Lisa Gherardini, wife of Francesco del Giocondo to smile so when she posed for her portrait. My theory - Leo painted her with no pants on. And being a distinguished lady, she merely smiled that enigmatic smile.
6. Williams High School Plano, TX 1980 I would have a real long talk with myself. Be that object lesson as to what being an underachiever will bring you. Wait. If I have developed and fully funded a working time machine, I would just prove myself correct! OUCH! Damn time paradoxes always give me migraines.

Resolutions

2007-12-31T23:30:00.000-05:00

Note to self: On March 1st, re-read this post and LAUGH, LAUGH, LAUGH!

I really don't make any grandiose resolutions. I am not saying I have nothing to improve upon. Just content with myself. And with that said, here we go!

1. Exercise more. (Vague enough to argue that by mid-February this will be accomplished.)
2. Eat healthier. (Again vague enough.)
3. Enjoy more wines. (Sipping on a glass of Veuve Clicquot right now.)
4. Write 500 words a day. (This will be the toughest one.)
5. Post one photo a day on my other blog.
6. Post at least 6 times a month on this blog.

And the one resolve I make each year. And so far, I have kept it.
Enjoy each day as the gift from God that it is. And thank Him daily for the gift.

Technorati Surprises

2007-12-28T21:08:00.000-05:00

I know that this is really silly. But it's all John's fault. He added the Technorati button to his site. (Hopefully that will help raise you to a "3").
Now I have no clue how this site works. (No, really.) I have no idea why this site is out there. Hopefully someone will take pity on me and give me a succinct explanation as to why it matters. *cough* Lisa *cough*

Now, to add to my general ignorance of this, when I clicked on the widget I found that John's blog was ranked around 3,000,000. That is out of some 113 million blogs! And while playing around the technorati site, I found that this blog was ranked at about 2,100,000! I was floored. How can this even be possible? How are these sites rated? Then there's Kelley's site, which was ranked around 873,000. This makes sense because she has connections. :)

But the big shock came when I searched for my other site - Orlando Daily Photo. This site is ranked around 32,700! !?!!?! I am at a loss. Is there a way to make this work for me? Yes, I mean monetary-wise. Yes, I am greedy.

Seriously, I have had a great time with both sites. They have rewarded me in ways I cannot begin to express. I just wanted to blog about what I found.

My New Tagline

2007-12-27T23:33:00.001-05:00

And really the motto for my life:

Sometimes you just have to hit the screw harder. Where is that little trademark symbol when you need it?

I love juxtaposition. I like when two incongruous images crash into each other and become symbolic of something larger.

This, my friends, is the system by which I have lived my life thus far, and will continue to do so as long as I have breath. At least until I win the lottery.

Everything You Know is Wrong

2007-12-11T13:18:00.000-05:00

First, please read this post and then this post.
Very simply put, in this age of information, the unwashed masses are fed a steady diet of pablum. The bane of our existence is the media. Both print and television continue to take stories and bastardize them. This is especially true of anything relating to science. They take away any big words so that a five year-old can understand them. They add a touch of sensationalism to keep people's interest. And the worst part, they know that their audience will not go out and independently validate the so-called facts.
On the local news a few days back, there was a story concerning the high amounts of sodium in processed foods. Foods like frozen dinners will have 30% to 50% of the recommended daily allowance of sodium in one serving. The FDA was looking at ways to crack down on this. But the twist was how the news outlet presented the facts. They stated that one should consume about one teaspoon of sodium a day. But most people are getting 4000 milligrams a day instead. This was a graphic on the screen with the 4000 in a larger font. The voice over then said that this was about twice what one should consume. This confusing graphic is exactly what I am talking about. Yes, too much sodium will lead to high blood pressure and heart disease. But, there was no need to sensationalize the point in such a confusing way.
In Scott Adams' post about fossils and evolution, and in John's post about global warming, the science part of the stories are glossed over. Assuredly, the media outlets feel that the average person (the aforementioned five year-old) would not understand the science involved. And they have achieved the self-fulfilling prophecy.

The good news is that there is intelligent life still on this planet. We must be vigilant in our efforts to educate ourselves and our children. You cannot take any bit of information as fact. You must validate and decide for yourself. Nothing from the media can be taken at face value. Except for maybe sports scores.

2007-12-11T00:19:00.000-05:00

It was 82 degrees yesterday. Today we may tie the record of 84. Not blogging about the weather. I just wanted to gloat. If say you live in Dallas or St. Louis, I cannot even lie and say I feel your pain. I'll be out (maybe to a theme park) enjoying the blue skies and warm sun. I'll be wearing a tee shirt, shorts and a smile.

There is a cold front coming this weekend. We will only get up to the "average" temperatures for this time of year: 74.

And A Good Time Was Had By One

2007-12-07T11:40:00.000-05:00

I won't lie. Nothing beats WDW. NOTHING! There must be some additive in the water that makes people spend their money here like there's no tomorrow. And I've had so much my eyes are floating. But I have a plan. Chase's baby teeth look straight, so I am quite sure he won't need braces. And it's stylish for your jeans to have holes. Why not your dockers and polos? Yeah. Annual passes going up again? No problem. I only need one kidney.

Seriously, if you've been to WDW during the summer or any other time when it's packed, in December it is like a ghost town. The longest wait time was Soarin at 25 minutes. Last summer, if you didn't get a fast pass by 10a.m. (one hour after the park opened) you would have to wait at least 2 hours in line!

I was king of all I surveyed. It truly was magical!

It's My Birthday!

2007-12-06T00:34:00.001-05:00

And how do I intend on celebrating this wondrous occasion? I'M GOING TO DISNEYWORLD! Laugh all you want; it has been my desire to spend my birthday here for quite some time. And since my annual pass will expire on Christmas day, this will be the year. (I haven't decided if I'm ready to shell out the money for another year. And both SeaWorld and Universal give you the option of a monthly payout, so I may stick with either or both of those for now.)

The shameless part is that I will head there all by myself. Kat is working and has rehearsals after school. I have a meeting at work around Noon, so Chase will already be in "school". (And in truth, I don't think Kat minds. She isn't as enthusiastic about WDW as I am.)

So, yeah. I can't sleep. I'm too excited! I'm going to Disney World! For the 30th time (roughly) this year!

Say Hello to My Little Friend!

2007-11-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

No pictures! No pictures! Damn Paparazzi!
This is Gestalt. I picked him up at Ikea. I had a similar one (more articulate and more expensive) when I was in college. Somehow, he moved on.

I think the bottom pose may become the image attached to my profile. What do you think?

Lessons Learned as a Child - Part Two

2007-11-18T23:01:00.000-05:00

A continuation of lessons found here:

1. The two best flavors of ice cream are vanilla and whatever flavor Daddy is eating.
2. The ground hurts your head, no matter how close you are to the ground when you fall.
3. Do not honk the horn when Daddy is working on the car.
4. Cats are mean. Especially when you pull on their tails.
5. Fish really like baths. They never seem to get clean, though.
6. Daddy is ALWAYS grumpy at 4:30 a.m.
7. Mommy must be afraid of the monsters, too. She never checks all of the hiding places like Daddy does.
8. Mommy has a three "why?" limit. I don't know why.
9. Cookies always taste better when Grandma makes them.
10. Grandpa buys me the best toys, like drums and horns. But I can only play them when I go home.
11. No matter how bad I hurt, mommy's kiss makes it all better.
12. I have it too easy. Daddy reminds me of this every day.

Ikea is a Four-Letter Word

2007-11-17T16:53:00.000-05:00

So Thursday last, I ventured into Ikea for the very first time. It just opened the day before, so the excitement and buzz about it was still strong. My wife, no stranger to Ikea (she's visited others), was making her second trip in as many days. Many people had told me it was not a store, but an experience. Now I understand. For the three other people in the entire world who haven't been in one, and to get this out of my head, let me share my thoughts.
My wife, bless her heart, wanted so much to prepare me for this. I did not wish to have my visit tainted with any fore-knowledge. I wanted to jump in blindly and immerse myself without a clue. She allowed me this to start. Within 15 seconds upon entering, I turned to my knowing partner (smiling like the Cheshire Cat) and said, "What the hell!?!" She knows I am really a big-picture guy and this was not going to be any fun if she did not give me the lay of the land. And even with her apt description, I was still befuddled. She told me it was like a maze. First you see how the products look in the top floor showrooms, write down what you want, then the bottom floor you pick it up. This was helpful to a point. But here is how I describe it.
You are one of the Israelites freed from the slavery of Egypt. You and the hundreds (thousands, even) of others are on your trek through the wilderness to the promised land. At first, you are not sure you want to go. Then the Red Sea parts (doors open) and you feel like this will be a great journey! You then begin your 40-year trek of meandering through the wilderness. Some complain that they really didn't want to leave their homes (mostly guys). Some complain they are tired and must rest a spell (mostly kids). But almost all complain they are hungry. Never fear; God has provided manna. Halfway through your visit is a restaurant. Still more meandering. Then there is more meandering. Still more complaining, but no more places to rest. Then finally you spy the promised land (checkout). But first, all the items you wrote down must be found. After some recon work (the Israelites sent out spies, too.), all items are aquired and you have finally made it through.
Now if all that stuff will fit on the camel, you are good to go!

Negativity

2007-11-14T23:52:00.000-05:00

It seems anymore that the news has really moved towards emphasizing the bad news. Like today, the angle for one local radio news story was how the record number of tourists to the area had brought with it a spike in the amount of flu cases here this year. It seems that Universal and SeaWorld are announcing their best summers since 9/11. Walt Disney World will not give out figures, but are saying they exceeded their expected turnout. Yet, somehow, this was a bad thing for the area. *long sigh*
I noticed a long time ago that here and in New Orleans that news focused on the sensational. This was in stark contrast to Dallas. Big D police had requested very early on that news outlets not talk about gangs in Dallas. This actually helped in that gangs did not do crimes in order to publicize their existence. Even now, if you check out the Dallas Morning News versus the Orlando Sentinel or the Times-Picayune, you will find more negative stories in Orlando and New Orleans. Is it really that bad? Is it really that great in Dallas?
It permeates into our lives. When I ask people who they would vote for and why, the why is all about what they do not like about the other candidate. We seem to be moving to voting against someone instead of voting for someone.
Is there a way to reverse this? I realize the irony of being negative about negativity, but the first step is admitting there is a problem. I want to start now and focus my energy on what is going right:

No devastating hurricanes this year.
Streetcars are running on St. Charles Avenue once again.
The Cowboys have a solid shot at the Super Bowl.
Ikea opened in Orlando.
The economy is running strong.
Health-wise, my whole family is great.
I donate blood on a regular basis because I can.
Right now, I am content.

This Old House

2007-10-31T13:12:00.000-04:00

I knew there had been a few previous owners, as this is an older home. I liked it for its character; something that those before us had blended and infused into its very structure. But I did not expect to find that it had a famous owner. It is clear to me now that this was once the home of Alfred Hitchcock.
The undeniable evidence appeared in the bathroom. Underneath the vent was an area where mold insisted to grow. It became a struggle, man versus mold, and it had to be wiped away daily.
Then, coming back from a week long vacation, I found what the mold was trying to convey. There on the wall was the unmistakable silhouette of Alfred Hitchcock. Just like the image that began his television show, you could plainly make out his rounded head and torso. His spirit was telling us, Alfred had been here.
There had been other signs before this , but I had not put the pieces together. First, there are a lot of birds around here. More than what you would expect to find. They congregate in the trees and on the playground set in the backyard. There are several turkey vultures and ravens mixed in with the gulls, sparrows and egrets. I did not think too much about it as the property butts up to a bird sanctuary. And the two large feeders probably attract them. Yet, the sight and sound does conjure up the images he so deftly captured on film. This would be a great inspiration for the movie. I mean, how else could he have come up with the idea?
The next sign was not as obvious. I did not realize what I was seeing until after finding the other signs. In this small area are several beautiful blondes living here. Really, an inordinate amount. There are three families of blonde women who have lived here for generations. And not just blonde and beautiful, but smart, strong in character, and still demure. Alfred would have had no choice but to base his female leads on these ladies. You write what you know.
There is also the well known fact that Brit's love Florida, especially Central Florida. There are several realtors here that specialize in finding houses for Brit's. And there are several pubs and restaurants here that serve British fare. This definitely would have been an attractive area for Mr. Hitchcock.
While I cannot prove in a court of law that this was once his residence, I do know that one previous owner was Frederick Bates. A pseudonym if ever I heard one. And the old man a few houses down does remember an Englishman living here. He recalls he would be gone for long periods of time "on holiday". Probably when he went off to direct a movie.
If you wanted to come to a safe haven to get away from the Hollywood crowd, this is certainly the place. Even Walt Disney saw the value of Central Florida.
So now the mold has become a welcome sight. I do not so flippantly wipe it away as I did before. I sometimes wonder what other signs would show up if we did not clean so often. My wife, the skeptic, does not agree with this. She just thinks I am lazy and wanting to get out of taking care of the house. Silly, silly woman.
But now I must be off. I must go mow the lawn and trim the hedges. I keep all that equipment in my shed out back. It was once owned by Vincent Price. How do I know? Oh, I know.

In My Corner of the World

2007-10-16T22:57:00.000-04:00

Really short post, as this has been a really busy month. I won't get 6 postings this time. Alas.

Chase had his 18-month checkup and shots recently. (ouch) He seems small to me, and the doc said he is below average size. But he assured me that this is a normal thing and a growth spurt would fix this. The fun part was finding out his vocabulary and talking skills were on par with a 24 month level. It is good to know that he can converse with 2 year-olds if he is in their social environment. Also, he is multi-lingual. He could speak with a cat, cow, horse, sheep, dog, duck and a few other animals. It has saved me from those awkward silent moments I used to have with the cows in the field next door.

Other than that, it has been work and sleep. And that will continue for another couple of weeks.

Edit: Yikes! I didn't publish this; just saved it! I guess I should read my blog every so often...

New Beginnings All Around

2007-09-30T19:56:00.001-04:00

This has really been a month of change for all of us. First, Chase "graduates" to Big Toddlers. There was no ceremony. He didn't complain. They move these guys into classes based on development more than by age. So far he's tracking perfectly with the age range as well.
Still, there are those moments that freak me out. He will sit there and have a conversation with me. He will talk in perfect syntax and inflection, but it is all gibberish to me. Then all of a sudden, he looks around and says, "Momma, where are you?" Every word perfect. I think he is messing with me.

My work took a turn when the District Manager asked me to move to the new store opening in the area. I must say I was excited to do so. I have been at this location for three years and was feeling a little bored/burned out/apathetic. This will really shake up the old location and hopefully give it a shot of newness, too. Plus I will most likely bonus here (No, the real question is how big a bonus.), where I would not have done so there.

And we are moving; something that has been in the works for a while. More about that in a different post after the move. (No, haven't moved yet. Yes, this week!)

Not to be outdone by the boys, my wife decided she was fed up with property management and followed her heart into teaching. She has always wanted to teach. And the main reason for not has come down to money.
But God always has a plan. And he always provides.
Kat's background is Theatre. She has her degree in it. She went to graduate school in order to be able to teach at the college level. That took us to New Orleans. When that fell apart, (I won't go into details) she went into property management. My job got us to Orlando. That was something I had wanted to do and was part of our plan. So she did the p.m. stuff here, but was never happy about it.
The final straw came as she was written up by her boss for being rude to a customer. This was concerning a phone call that she took with a person who had already leased a unit, but spoke little English. She kept her answers short and simple so as to not have any issues later. Since only her part of the conversation was heard, she was PERCEIVED to be rude. And her "corrective action" even said that if she were to be rude or PERCEIVED to be rude, further action would be taken.
Needless to say, this motivated her to find something else. That is when she found the opening for a teacher in Theatre and English. They were looking for someone with a costuming background. Kat had that, plus her year of grad school included an internship in the costuming department. This is a high school in Seminole County that is rated as being in the top 1% of high schools nationwide. This would be an unbelievable opportunity.
She sent in her resume, and was contacted the next day. Two days later, she goes to the interview at 8:00 a.m. She calls me at 8:30 to tell me the interview was already over. Shocked, I went into console mode, telling her that this is the first job she interviewed for and there will be other ones soon.
As we are talking, they call her. Not only do they offer her the job, they ask if she could go to orientation that day! Needless to say, she accepted. And starting tomorrow, she is officially on her own, teaching both Theatre and English.
All because she was "rude." God always has a plan, even when we don't see or understand it.

Less Packing and More Pondering

2007-09-28T23:42:00.000-04:00

I am at that dreaded packing point. It is still a few days before we move, but I am down to those items deemed "essential for everyday existence." The bathroom and kitchen look like they were looted the day after Katrina hit. So I am taking a break to get a little internet fix before heading to bed.

Ponder:
Did Great Britain have some pandemic that wiped out the comedy part of their brains? (Stay with me for a second.) It seems that sometime, maybe early 80's or so, that some heinous event occurred and the entire country lost its sense of humor. That is the only thing I can think of that would cause PBS to continue to run the britcoms from the 60's and 70's. No more appear to exist past this era.
Okay, so that is sort of grumpy. I simply cannot fathom why people continue to support PBS in the age of cable. You want children's programming? Three to five other channels do that. Science and technology? History? At least 10 channels. British comedy? BBCAmerica. Hello! Some of them are from the 90's!
I guess the one thing PBS has over the other ones are cool t-shirts and mugs. Er, no. Not that either. (PBS is quickly becoming Pathetically Bad Station.)

I dream in color. I know that science poo-poos this, but really how do they know? Hook you up to some high-tech device that displays your dreams? Maybe they didn't adjust the picture correctly. Anyway, I know I dream in color because sometimes I dream I am a Smurf. And my light sabre usually is a wicked yellow. Lately it's been green.

My guilty pleasure is watching "Cheaters". That show cracks me up. Especially when the cheater gets all righteous and insulted that the cheated didn't trust them. And when there is a hidden camera at the house that captures some salacious act, but they use that huge pixelation so you can't tell what is going on. I think sometimes the cheater and co. are probably just eating fried chicken, but they needed to pad the show for ratings.
The thing that I still don't understand is how these people find time to have a double life. And what is gained by staying in a relationship that obviously isn't cutting it for them anymore. I guess they aren't thinking. And deserve to get caught like this.

And finally, after noticing a trend of bad TV watching in these last 2 posts, I need to get to bed. But first, Two and Half Men reruns are about to come on. Maybe more fodder for another inane post!

Packing and Pondering

2007-09-25T22:29:00.000-04:00

Long month.
We are moving, so pretty much all spare time is taken for packing up all our stuff. And throwing out all the stuff we don't use. George Carlin talked about the difference between stuff and s***. Stuff is what you have; what you own. S*** is what someone else has. Right now, I feel like I have a bunch of s***.

Random ponderings:
Live Free or Die Hard is THE BEST TITLE EVER. I haven't seen the movie yet. Don't really need to. It has Bruce in it and is in the Die Hard series. I will own it soon enough. And wear out my DVD player watching it over and over.
Runner-up title: God May Have Forgiven You, But I Won't. I think this is both a movie (Western, of course) and the title of a song (Country, of course).

It is cheaper now to buy a new printer than to buy the replacement inks. How messed up is that? Soon, someone will come out with disposable printers. Worked with razors and cameras.

I love Mythbusters. But I want them to tackle the similes. You know, are foxes really crazy? Are tacks sharp? In truth, I think the show may have run its course. Some of the things they test anymore don't grab me like they used to.

Okay, enough. Be back soon!

Why America Is The Way It Is

2007-09-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

Just so we are all starting at the same point, here is the underlying assumption made: I (and you) already know this little gem of wisdom. This is simply to help vent and rant.

At the "nationally branded" department store tonight - Not that one, the other one. Yes, bulls eye. - I witnessed that well known struggle of mother and child where said child goes ballistic because said mother tells child "No". This child wanted a toy. Mother said she already had a similar toy. Child counters with "But this one does 'Y', and mine only does 'X'!" Then mother says the immortal words, "You think money grows on trees? Do you know how hard I work just to put food on the table and clothes on your back? You don't even say 'Thank you' to me!"

Well, of course not! This child has been given no reason to be thankful! You have made her feel like she is the center of the universe! You have given to her at every other turn, you have taken her to wherever she has needed to go, and you have never taken the time to explain to her what her limits are!

And mainly this is due to the fact YOUR PARENTS treated you as the center of the universe. You have only perpetuated the myth.

My parents taught us the value of money very early on. We were not "given" an allowance. We had chores to do. If we did the chores, we received compensation. They explained this is why people must work. If you did not work, you did not get money. If you have no money, you did not get to buy things. And we were taught what tithing was, and we had to give 10% each week.

Unfortunately, too many Americans feel that they are "entitled" to a certain standard of living. Far too many people do not know that what "VALUE" is. Far too many are given things, money, food, shelter, etc., when they haven't earned it. Far too many do not comprehend that these things have no VALUE to them. They do not understand that these items will not bring them satisfaction. They have lost the VALUE of their humanity.

Before anyone goes off about "widows and orphans", I am all for giving a helping hand to get people back on their feet. We all need that from time to time. Unfortunately, we have created an entire industry based on the down-trodden. Instead of bringing people up, we keep people down. We give and give without thinking of the consequence it has on the recipient.
Even FDR recognized that during the Great Depression, people would work in order to get help from the government. The creation of the Public Works Administration did more than give people jobs. It helped revive America's economy.

My ranting aside, I fear for the America my child will grow up to find. We have to do something now to break this cycle of entitlement. We have to show our children that path may be harder, but earning what you have is far more fulfilling. We have to teach them what VALUE truly is.

Avenging My Brother

2007-09-03T21:13:00.000-04:00

It was already dark when I arrived in Casper, Wyoming. I burst into the Flaming Mongol restaurant, pushed the Maitre D' against the wall, and snorted, "Where is he?" Stunned, he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. That's when I raised him off the floor and pressed my elbow into his Adam's apple. He pointed a shaky finger towards the back of the restaurant to the door marked "Private."
I kicked the door in and surprised the three Asian men. They were gathered around a desk covered with drugs, guns and money. The two younger men went for the guns. But before either could pull a trigger, I emptied my clip into their torsos. Stepping over their bleeding bodies, I walked towards the older man. He cowered behind the desk. I changed the clip in my pistol as I stared menacingly at him. I reached over and pulled the old man up by his shirt until we were eye to eye.
"You remember this man?", I asked. I shoved a picture of my brother in his face. Trembling, he muttered, "No."
"Take a closer look. Last night. He ate here." That's when I saw the look of recognition come over his face. I punched him in the nose. The blow knocked him into the wall and he slid down. Fearfully, he held his nose, blood covering his hands and shirt. I caressed my pistol and stared down at him. I turned and started walking out.
"The next time he asks for duck sauce and you give him sweet and sour instead, I won't be so nice."

God Has a Wonderful Sense of Humor

2007-08-26T21:51:00.000-04:00

By now, you have probably seen the article about how astronomers have found a "hole" in the Universe. If not, go here to read about it. Don't worry, we'll wait.

Okay, so my first question is: How is there a "hole" in a void. I mean even with the dark matter theory to help "fill in" some of the gaps, still this strikes me as hilarious.
But more importantly: Is it in the center of everything? If so, are we then just a sprinkle on the donut that is the cosmos?

Apparently, I have to quit posting when I'm hungry.

Word as Art

2007-08-25T13:37:00.001-04:00

Starting with the 20th Century, visual arts moved away from representational depiction to abstraction. Images were reduced to show action, movement, feeling, or to reflect inner qualities instead of appearance. Both two and three dimensional arts moved from a direct form of communication to more thoughtful expression of the subject. (See, I do get to my BFA every once in a while!)
But this leads me to literary arts. For the most part the same form of storytelling has been used for centuries. Very simply stories are broken into 5 parts; exposition, conflict, climax, resolution, and denouement.
I think it is time to change that. After looking at all the various movements in the visual arts, I am spearheading the surrealist movement. When history looks back, and you know they will, you can say that you witnessed the beginnings. With that I give you this:

Apple wings touching purple. Seven penguins eat the stain-glass hamburgers. The pale wind searches for the vapid trees for cinnamon. Remember the brick insects, traipsing along the glistening few.

Of course, as with all new movements, the first attempts are simpler, often carrying one theme. Here I was hungry as I wrote that. I think the image of the diner called Camellia Grill in New Orleans probably comes across a little too obvious. The sacrifices we make for art.

Edit: Okay, some might say that poetry has already embraced this genre. Some might also say that hunger got the best of me. I say some people talk too much.

Time Keeps On Slipping

2007-08-24T10:07:00.000-04:00

It has been one hectic month. I really haven't been online much; maybe 30 minutes a day, and most of that spent on my other blog. The rest has been spent on utilitarian usage, like paying bills or googling a celebrity's name with the word "nude". A word of advice - don't do that with Keifer Sutherland. I needed to take a cheese grater to my brain to get rid of that image...

Seriously, this month has been spent in reading. More specifically three books. And yes, one of those was Harry Potter. I will admit, I think the series is a good read. The first two were formulaic, and virtually identical plot-wise. My favorite was the third. She broke out of the rut and really added several layers. Sirius Black was a character with great potential. I really thought she would have used him more. I hated the fifth book. It is the longest as well as most useless in moving the story along. If you haven't read it, I won't spoil it. To me, the plot was more about building Harry's strength of character and leadership, but was mired in several sub-plots. And the denouement was completely unsatisfying.
The sixth and seventh books should have come out as one, HUUGE volume. I started Deathly Hallows, but after about 100 pages I stopped and re-read Half-Blood Prince. In truth I had only read the sixth book once, and that was two years ago. Together they are a seamless read.
Deathly Hallows is really irritating. You know where the story is ultimately supposed to go. But, and this is a problem I have with any book that uses time as a factor in how the story is told, she has forced herself to tell the tale over the course of Harry's "Year 7". Too often in the first two-thirds of the story, the plot goes something like this: they try to figure out a course of action, argue about it and fight about it for a while, finally act on the plan, mayhem ensues, regroup and discuss/argue about the action, then try to figure out a new course of action. This happens at least three times. The problem with it is the time factor. They argue and discuss and fight for days or weeks at a time.
The last third is the opposite of what goes on before. Literally 500 pages and several months later, the pace picks up. The next 250 pages detail the events of one night. And a lot of stuff happens. Most are predictable if you have read the first six and follow the style of the writer. Too often a character is not what they appear to be, or not as they are portrayed to be. You know that there will be deaths, so you brace yourself for those to occur. You also know the overriding theme to the book, so you really should know what the outcome will be. I am not spoiling the ending. There are still a few twists as the story winds down that tie up some loose threads nicely. Even a few things that go back several books.

I know I'm rambling. But this is a unique accomplishment. The writer in me that longs for the one good story idea is blown away. Seven novels about a kid growing up with all the pressures a kid has to face, plus he can do magic. O, and the most evil wizard ever was not able to kill him, and will probably come back to finish the deed. And written so that the first couple seem purposely simple, just like a ten year old should be. Style-wise, she tells the tales from Harry's point of view. Very restrictive. You are only in Harry's head. You only experience the world as Harry sees it and thinks about it. (True, the beginnings of the later books start from outside of this perspective, but barely a hundred pages of several thousand fall into that.) And only one major theme to the whole story. Simple story telling, fleshed out characters, built on a solid "history". Brilliant.

Expect the Unexpected

2007-08-01T16:53:00.002-04:00

There is a logic paradox called the Unexpected Hanging. If you are not aware of story it goes something like this:

A man commits a heinous crime and is being sentenced by the judge. The judge, known to be a man who kept his word, told the prisoner, "Because your crime is so heinous, this is worst thing I can do you. You will be hanged at dawn one day next week. To make your last days on this Earth troubled, you will not know what day it will be."
The prisoner is shaken and white as a sheet. He sees his lawyer has a smile on his face. The prisoner asks, "How can you possibly find this amusing?" The lawyer says, "Don't you see? The sentence cannot be carried out."
Puzzled, the prisoner says, "What do you mean?" The lawyer says, "Look at it this way. The judge said you will not know which day you will be hanged. But you cannot possibly be hanged on Saturday. On Friday, you would know without a doubt that you will be hanged on Saturday. The judge said you would not know the day. So you cannot possibly be hanged, as this would go against the judge's orders."
The prisoner rubs his chin and says, "I see." The lawyer then says, "You cannot be hanged on Friday, either. On Thursday, you would know that you could not be hanged on Saturday. That only leaves Friday as the day to hang you. But again, you would know this. And that violates the judge's sentence."
The prisoner says, "You are right. Thursday is also out, because I know I cannot be hanged on Friday or Saturday. It's the same for Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday and Sunday!" The lawyer says, "Exactly! You cannot be hanged without violating the judge's sentence!"

August 1st, 2005, was an eventful day. It started out as normal. I got up and went in to work as usual. We were resetting the sales floor that day because had new furniture. Most of it back-to-school related. There was also a new dining table; very ornate and very heavy. We put the legs on and went to flip it over. That is when I felt something searing hot in my back.

It felt like someone was trying to brand me, just from the inside out. Then, as if on some hellish cue, pain shot up and then down my spine. Dazed, I sat down in the chair that was waiting to match up with the table. That's when I thought, "Okay. Don't move.", followed by, "Idiot, if you didn't move, how did you end up in the chair?"

This twisted banter lasted a few moments as I began moving extremities. Toes first. Check. Feet. Check. Legs. Ouch!
As I moved my right leg, I could feel a tearing sensation in my lower right back. I told another manager that something was wrong. After my story, she echoed the thought in my head. "Idiot."

Since I knew nothing was broken. I asked her to help me into the office. There, I laid down on the floor. The hard, cold floor. I had hoped that this would let my spine and muscles relax while keeping everything straight. After 15 minutes, several people checking on me (so they could call me idiot, too), and no change, the realization hit me hard. In 20 years of working, I was a worker's comp claim.

I called my wife and had her come and take me to the clinic. Still in excruciating pain, I suffered through waiting for the doctor. I knew what he would say. "You strained a muscle. Idiot." In truth, I would not have even gone, except I knew this would get me out of work for at least a couple of days as well as something that would MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!

We go to the first Walgreen's we can find, and Kat goes in while I try to figure out how I would exist in the uncomfortable car seat waiting for the prescription to be filled. I also realized it was after 1 pm and was hungry. When she got back, we headed for my favorite Chinese restaurant. It happened to be in the same area.

We sat down in a booth, ordered, and I took some medicine. Kat went to the restroom and I tried willing the medicine to burst out of my stomach and directly to back. I had just settled into the least painful position I could find, when Kat came back. She wanted to sit beside me. I wanted her to go to the other side. She got her way, and sat close and held me. I could only think that she must really like seeing me in pain, and wanted a close-up view. I looked at her and she met my eyes. Then she said, "I'm pregnant."

On Tuesday morning at dawn, the prisoner was awakened from a restful slumber, led to the gallows and hanged. And the prisoner never expected it.

Yes, I know that this is a strange parallel. But bear with me. You see, we had tried having a child earlier. There were issues, including an ectopic pregnancy as well as the loss of one ovary. The embryo had formed outside the womb, even outside of the fallopian tube. The doctor had to go inside and remove the embryo. While there, she noted one of the ovaries was not normal. I had to make the decision while Kat was under whether or not to remove the ovary. Toughest. Decision. I. Ever. Made.

Babies went on the back burner after that. Kat decided to finish college and try graduate school. This led us to New Orleans, then Orlando. That's where the subject of babies came up again.

So here we go, with worse-case scenarios running through my head. Does this one ovary produce eggs? Does it fire one each month, or is it every other month? If it's been every month, has it depleted its supply? Will this little baby call me an idiot?

Even then, knowing that we were just beginning this adventure, I did not expect results so quickly!

It seems that Kat had a feeling that very morning. She was certain, but when she went in to Walgreen's she bought a pregnancy test. Then, while at the restaurant, she took the test in the restroom. She knew she could not wait to tell me, so she came directly to me right then.

But she got an unexpected reaction. I was so focused on my pain and hunger, I was sitting there in stunned silence. Then I said, "You couldn't wait until I was in a better state of mind?"

Looks like everyone was right. I was an idiot that day. And I never expected any of it.

It was a dark and stormy night.

2007-07-26T14:31:00.000-04:00

I love reading. I consume books like a beggar invited to a buffet. Non-fiction or fiction, it does not matter. As long as it is something that interests me and makes me want to turn the page. Half-Price Books in Dallas was my favorite spot to play, especially during the long, hot summers. Not having anything like that here, I find myself scouring the libraries of Orlando to satiate my habit.
Now, as I am aspiring to be found on the shelf next to these works, the writer in me always notes the style, structure, language use, etc. One can study how to write, but the best way to learn is by example. And there are plenty of those in this world.
My favorite part of any work of fiction has to be the first sentence. This almost always tells me how much I will enjoy the rest of the story. Admittedly, there are many best-selling authors whose first lines will not grab you. Either it is because they know people will read them anyway. Or they prolong this "hook" for the first paragraph. But all in all, those stories that hook you with the first sentence have become stories I will read again.
These are some of my favorites:
"Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing." Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." 1984 by George Orwell

"He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." Scaramouche by Raphael Sabatini

"Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person." Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins." Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Did you know, the title of this post is actually from a novel by Edward Bulwer-Lytton called Paul Clifford? He's also the author of the line "The pen is mightier than the sword."

My Blog, My Topic

2007-07-25T00:49:00.000-04:00

This is from the comic strip "Pearls Before Swine" by Stephan Pastis. He fills the void left by "Far Side" and "Calvin and Hobbes" quite fittingly. And this seemed utterly appropriate.

Enjoy!

(Also, check out the strip from 7/20. I think he's reading these blogs!)

Be Careful What You Ask For

2007-07-24T08:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, John. Just out of pure snarkiness, I present to you this:

This is Ming Court, located in the attractions area on International Drive. In truth, I have eaten there once, and it was a few years ago. I had Mongolian Beef. I was more impressed with the atmosphere than the food, however. The entrance winds its way across a koi pond and the transition from Florida to somewhere in China is well done.

And even as I post this, I realize that NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU HAD FOR LUNCH! OR IF YOU HAD LUNCH FOR BREAKFAST! OR WHAT YOU HAD FOR DINNER! Hell, I don't even care what I had, and I ate it!

For anyone thoroughly confused, or simply bored, it all started right here. Then continued here.

Have a GREAT DAY!

Interconnectivity

2007-07-21T15:45:00.000-04:00

Today's post on my other site is the seed for this post. Please read it first. Some of my ramblings may not make sense.

I am constantly amazed at how interconnected this world has become. My parents get to watch their grandson play at "school", because they have cameras in each room hooked up to the internet. In less than a four-hour plane trip, we can be in Dallas. I can rant and rave and have a word wars with my oldest and best friend as well as a new friend I have not met in person. And because of City Photo Blogs, I get to share my home with others as well as see the places they call home.

With all that said, I don't feel as connected to Orlando as everywhere else. I am sure I have said this before, but when we lived in New Orleans I did not allow myself to get close to anyone or get involved in any groups or such. I knew it was a temporary stop and was not going to invest the time or energy into futile endeavors. But now, those are habits for me that I cannot seem to break. And with a 16 month old, it has been even more difficult to search out good friends or groups.

I am not trying to complain. I was hoping that writing this down in such a public-type forum, may help spur me to break the habits. First step is admitting you have a problem. The second step?

Check This Out

2007-07-17T21:11:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I haven't felt inspired lately. Plus things have been hectic, with something new popping up each day. I have only had a few moments to even get on the web.

What I have been doing is playing with my new blog. I found these City Daily Blogs, and got inspired. Please check out my small contribution and tell me what you think! Orlando Daily Photo is mine, of course.

I'll be inspired soon, I promise!

Lessons Learned as a Child - Part One

2007-07-10T22:24:00.000-04:00

1. Glass is something you can see through. But you cannot go through it, no matter how fast you run.
2. Bed covers are impenetrable to any and all monster attacks.
3. When Mom is mad at Dad, do not let her brush your hair.
4. Dogs like green beans, but they don't like brussel sprouts, either.
5. If I want to see Daddy run real fast, I only have to say, "Uh, oh."
6. If I want to see Mommy run real fast, I just have to be very quiet.
7. When Mommy was little, they only had one song, so they changed the words. That way they could sing about a star, sheep, and the alphabet.
8. Daddy will tell you when you get there, so please do not ask him several times.
9. Putting food in your napkin is not cleaing your plate.
10. Water tastes better when someone brings it to you in the middle of the night, and you don't have to get out of bed.
11. Daddy is messy. That is why he has to cook outside.
12. Mommy's spit has many uses.

Seven Famous Sevens

2007-07-07T00:07:00.000-04:00

Just for the hell of it, in honor of 07-07-07.

1. Seven Wonders of the Ancient World
2. Seven Deadly Sins
3. The Magnificent Seven
3. Seven Continents
4. Seven Days of the Week
5. The Seven Seas
6. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
7. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Honorable mentions include: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, 007 James Bond, Seven Card Stud, 7-11 and 7-up.

Seven is an enigmatic number. There are mathematical properties that are inherent with seven. One example, take any number not evenly divisible by seven. On a calculator (or on paper if you so choose) divide it by seven. Pretty amazing. Take another number, three digits this time, and do the same. Freaky, isn't it?
Seven also figures into many religions. But nowhere more so than in Judaism and Christianity. Seven is God's perfect number. In occasion after occasion, seven comes into play. Seven days of creation. Jericho is circled seven times and the walls fell. When Peter asked how many times he should forgive someone, he pointedly asked if seven times was enough. Jesus responded with 70 times 7. Revelation is filled with several instances using seven.

I wanted to post this at 7:07, but that isn't possible. Instead, I settled for 7 minutes into the day. And I used 217 words to write all this...

This I Believe - The Site

2007-07-06T00:12:00.000-04:00

NPR has never been something that I could listen to for very long. Being a visual person, I always had a hard time with the concept of a painter or sculptor talking about their work and experience, but not actually seeing their work. And don't even get me started on when chefs discuss their creations.

But one thing I do like is a segment called "This I Believe". These are essays by people, both famous and unknown, in all walks of life, who express what it is that they believe. (Thus the name...) This is a revival of Edward R. Murrow's format from the 1950's. The idea is for people to voice what drives them. But the important part is that others hear them out. During the 50's, there were very few outlets where people could opine, especially to more than just their neighbors and family. This format must have been very liberating.

Now, anyone with internet access and time can have their opinions, rants, and ramblings read by people all over the world. In mere seconds. But is anyone really listening?

That is one of the main reasons for reading the essays. I admit, there are many I do not agree with. But I read them all the way through. Mostly because I respect the fact that the person has taken the time to put their belief out there for all the world to see and hear. If you were to do this, wouldn't you want others to listen to you? Check it out. To be continued.

Shuttle Musings

2007-06-29T13:26:00.000-04:00

This is from the June 8th Atlantis launch. The remarkable thing about this rather unremarkable shot is the fact that we are on the 528 at the time. The 528 is the toll road that runs straight towards the Kennedy Space Center and Cocoa Beach. We are sitting in bumper to bumper traffic as so many have come out to watch the launch. Yes, we got in the car at the spur of the moment and headed that way to see if we could get a closer view. This is as close as we could get. That remarkable part I was talking about? We are still in Orlando, directly north of Orlando International Airport. Some 40 to 45 miles away!
The shuttle and all things NASA are major news stories here in Central Florida, of course. Almost anytime there is a launch, shuttle or simply another satellite, there is plenty of media coverage. It is definitely gets as much attention as the theme parks get. Now, shuttle launches seem to be news everywhere. There was a time when that was not true.
Back in college, shuttle launches were so routine that no one stopped to watch. But then one day in 1986, that all changed. I had just sat down in Calculus, or as I called it Math as a Second Language, beside John (yeah, "Dubber") when another guy comes in and says did you hear the shuttle blew up? The image on our calculus book coincidentally was that of the shuttle on the launch pad at night. No one really took him seriously. Not until others came in with the same story. After class it was a bee line to any television to find out what had happened.

(Side note: 1986 - Cable still a toddler so the majority of people were watching network news. No internet, so zero information from that source. No cell phones. Some "car phones", those monsters that were just this side of portable, but those were mostly used by law enforcement. Our kids will think we lived in the dark ages...)

My point is that by then there had been some two dozen shuttle launches, and, with all the hundreds of other rocket launches since the sixties, it was no longer "news-worthy". We had conquered space.

(Side note 2: Moonraker came out in 1979, two years before we actually launched the first shuttle. This was 007 meets Star Wars. Worst. Bond. Movie. Ever. But it shows just how much hoopla went into the shuttle program. It is amazing how some 6 years later, we wouldn't care anymore.)

So here we are; 26 years and 2 disasters later. The shuttle is news-worthy, but not in a good way. The shuttles are being shunted. They are old and out-dated. NASA is talking about life after shuttles. So why is everyone watching?
To put it simply, too many cable news networks need to fill airtime and the very inkling of another disaster makes them drool like Pavlov's dog near a fire alarm's bell. Several minutes were spent showing the super slo-mo of the launch and how foam may have hit the shuttle. Several more minutes spent on the "blanket" and how it would affect re-entry. Showing (with scale models) what the crew would have to do to fix it. Then several minutes detailing how far away a storm could be to where the shuttle would land. (34 miles in most cases, 32 miles in others. Seems to me to be cautionary, just go with 35...)
Anyway for better or worse, the shuttles primarily and NASA peripherally, are news. At least it's better than another blurb about Paris Hilton...

Me and The Blues

2007-06-26T00:00:00.000-04:00

It seems that a pall of negativity has taken up residence around here recently. No matter where I turn, someone is telling me how "horrible" their life has become. It seems to be stronger at work, thankfully, but even friends and family are focusing on the negative.
Now, as I've said before, I'm a big picture sort of guy. I don't fret about things I cannot control. But what do you say to people, especially co-workers, when they start up?

One guy's ex-wife is moving out of state, and taking their son with her. They had no real stipulations about this. He could have fought it, but the kid seems okay with it. So he is doing what he thinks is right for his son. But every day he works, he brings this up. Usually 2 or 3 times each day. And usually, I swing the conversation back to whatever task we have to do. In truth, I really do not care.
And that is I guess what is really bothering me. I find that I am really apathetic towards all my co-workers. Ironically, I am the one they come to first. Probably due in part to my position. Partly because I have never turned a deaf ear to anyone. Ever. And yet, I find my mind drifting away from the conversation and onto what tasks I can give them. And the longer I listen, the longer their task list becomes.

With family and friends, it's different. Maybe because I am more invested in the relationship. Maybe because I actually care what happens to them, since I am involved in some way? Maybe because I can give comfort and care to them.

Most of the time, co-workers are looking for a place to vent. At least that's what I tell myself. If someone asks for advice, I give it. But it's still sterile. Maybe clinical is a better choice of word. No matter how you slice it, I keep them at a distance.

Is this bad? Or evil? How do you handle work relationships? There are only two that I would even consider hanging out with. But my position could make things complicated in that they are subordinate at work, but not socially. It's lonely at the top.

Anyway, enough complaining. Right now it's midnight. Me and the blues.

June is bustin' out all over

2007-06-24T23:17:00.000-04:00

This has been a month to forget. The "job" to which I must go - it is the one paying the bills - has had me running ragged since right after Memorial Day. First it was a reset of one-third of the store. This required a week and a half of overnights. Actually this was the best part of the month, in that I did not have to put up with customers during this time. And I am a night owl, so I truly was in my element.
Next, came inventory. We knew it was coming; it just means making sure that everyone stays organized. And that the *ahem* counters they bring in stay accurate. But with my system thinking that dawn means bedtime, I was glad I was not the one who had to be there at 4 AM!
Next came the surprise part of the month. DURING INVENTORY, we were to rework the front displays to accommodate the Semi-Annual Clearance Event. Cue dramatic music. Needless to say, I was coasting into this weekend.

All this is a long-winded excuse for not posting. Also, for not doing any writing - the "job" that does not pay the bills, yet. And while I haven't put pen to paper, still I have taken this weekend to decompress. I did go to Star Wars Weekends at WDW! Another day about that.

The thing is I committed myself to at least six entries here a month. The goal is to get to eight a month. I do not understand why this is so hard. I did not commit to a specific topic. I could easily post four entries today!
But they would end up rushed and unpolished. Genuinely they would be gibberish and drivel. The title of my blog was meant only to serve as a place holder until something pithy and thought-provoking came around. Plus, as John can attest, my first email address, and still my junk email address, begins with e_gibberish. Yeah, it's hot! It's always funny when I put that down at a store, etc. and the clerk smirks. Actually, now I have that in a different site also. Yippee! The second one was actually an oops! I set it up for receiving job responses. It seemed weird that I didn't get but a couple of responses... (If you think you've figured out one or both of the two places, drop me a note!)

Anyway, I will try to do better. This is supposed to be a creative outlet for me. A place where I can put myself out "there", but with much more control. At least on my end.

And those four posts I threatened? Before I started a blog I pulled out my old journals. I made sure that I had a list of at least 50 topics to use. Some are fiction. Some corny. Some are actually good! I was supremely proud of my sci-fi post in honor of Star Wars 30th. But somebody did not seem to get some of the references...
Anywho, I will bring a couple of these out soon. If you do actually email me, I will tell you the titles of the four posts!

********'s

2007-06-11T16:16:00.000-04:00

I have found there is something more precious than gold. More precious than diamonds or rubies. Even more precious than a barrel of gasoline.
They have no physical presence. They exist simply in the ether. And yet, they must be carefully tended. They must be protected from the evils that wait in the big, bad world.
They are passwords.
How far we have come in the advancement of society and technology that we keep our personal information secure or limit access to secure points on the internet, at work, and even at home with a "magic word".
The hard part now has become password management. In my case, I have seven email accounts between personal and work. To log into work is another, while logging onto another system within my logon, I have a second, different password. Several online payment systems, ebay, paypal, blogger, monster.com, the local library website, discussion boards, and a few newspapers equal an astounding 24 more passwords. That brings my total to 33. There are probably more that I'm overlooking.
Passwords used to be fun. My first email password was sesame. As in open sesame. Yeah, I know, that was cornball. I know people who would use their middle name or a pet's name. Or what their pornstar name would be.
For awhile, since I was not really that concerned of someone pilfering information, I used Poe's cypher. He felt that the most pure way to create an unbreakable cryptogram was to substitute the same letter each time. So "password" becomes "iiiiiiii". Yes, one of my emails still uses that one. That would be the one to where all the junk and spam get sent.
Now those simple days are behind us. These days there are so many rules for creating a password. Some require both numbers and letters. Some prohibit double letters (ie "letters" would not be allowed because of the double t's). Most all password must be seven characters or more. All in the name of protecting our identities.
It is sad that we have to live in this manner. Yet, I cannot see how to get around this. We are stuck with this. At least until it takes DNA to unlock our websites.
I have streamlined most of my passwords. There are really only about three of four different ones that I use. It still is irritating to figure out what combination of characters will again allow me access. But at least I remember them. I once created an excel document listing all the sites and passwords. I even password protected it. And then, I forgot that password.

Take my bird, please

2007-06-07T16:14:00.000-04:00

Okay. This is a completely random post. This is my all-time favorite joke.

A man walks into a pet shop and sees a beautiful red macaw. It is bobbing up and down and laughing inside his cage. The man then notices that the sign on the cage says, "$50. All Sales Final. No Refunds. Period." The man cannot believe it. He runs up to the counter and tells the clerk he'll take it.
The clerk says, "Really, sir, it's kind of a joke. You see, that parrot is absolutely the meanest bird on the face of the planet. He cusses. He bites and scratches. I've sold him twice before, but he keeps getting returned in a couple of days. You seem like a nice guy. I couldn't sell it to you."
The man thinks about it for a second. He says, "You know, I am a very patient man. I am sure that I can retrain him. I'll take him!"
The clerk says, "You have no idea what you are getting into. I'm serious about no refunds. If you take him, I NEVER want to see him again!"
The man agrees, hands over $50, and takes the parrot home. He puts him and his cage in the living room. And the man starts talking sweetly and nicely to the parrot.
In no time, the parrot wreaks havoc throughout the house. The parrot has bit and scratched the man several times. By the second day, the cat goes missing. The dog will not even go near the living room. She stays in the kitchen and howls. The wife and son have also been bit or scratched. She gives her husband an ultimatum. They won't be back until the parrot is out of this house!
The man is shocked at how vile this parrot is. But he vows not to give up. He knows he can retrain this bird. He keeps trying to be sweet. He offers a cracker and says, "Polly want a cracker?" The parrot nearly bites his finger off, and says, "No! Jack wants real food, dumb ass!
This was the last straw. The man snaps. Angrily, he opens the cage and grabs the parrot around the neck. He screams, "You will be good!" The parrot bites and scratches and answers back, "Screw you, buddy!" They start rolling and wrestling on the floor.
Their battle takes them through the house. Finally, bleeding and dazed, the man finds himself in the kitchen. In desperation, he opens the freezer door and throws the parrot in.
The refrigerator starts bouncing up and down. The parrot is screaming. He's cussing. The refrigerator moves away from the wall. This goes on for about 5 minutes. Then suddenly it stops.
The man starts to open it, but thinks maybe it's a trick. He waits another 5 minutes. Still nothing. The man wonders if the parrot is dead. Slowly he cracks the door open and peeks inside. The parrot is sitting there, head down. Still slowly, he opens the door more. The parrot sits there. When the door is fully open, the parrot says, "I want to apologize to you and your family. I promise from this day forward, I will not cuss, bite or scratch you or anyone else. Now, if it is alright with you, could you please take me back to my cage?"
The man is dumbfounded. He puts his arm out and the parrot, still head down, steps gently onto it. The man walks the parrot over to the cage, puts the parrot in, and closes the door.
The man stands there for a minute looking at the sullen and contrite parrot, then turns to go clean up. The parrot then says, "By the way, what did the turkey do?"

An Open Letter To Tourists

2007-06-01T17:30:00.001-04:00

Now that the summer season has begun and many of you look to enjoy time with your family and friends, I feel compelled to offer some advice. I know many of you think that you are top-notch travellers, and this really isn't directed at you. You would be incorrect. I've seen you. And your family. 54 million people visit the Orlando area each year. And 50 million of that seems to come during the summer. I can spot you from a mile away. I can even tell what stage of your trip you are at. If you are all smiling like the Cheshire cat, you just got here. If you are slightly burned, you've been here three days max. If you look like you need a nap and a vacation, you're probably leaving tomorrow. So trust me; I know what I am talking about.

First of all, have a plan. I'm talking about right after deciding where you are going and before you step out the door. What exactly do you plan to do when you get there? I'm not saying plan every minute, but have some idea of what you are going to do each day. Buy a book and study up. Do your homework. No, there are no CliffsNotes. Be prepared to be tested when you get there. Otherwise, it will be your and your family's patience that is tested.

Dress appropriately. It goes back to having a plan. Find out what the weather is like. If you are coming to Florida in the summer, know that it is hot. And humid. To some this is a lethal combination. And don't go around repeating, "Man, it's hot and humid!" Everyone else has already figured this out.
Get sunscreen. If you tend to burn, get SPF 45 or higher. If you are trying to tan, get SPF 40. (okay, SPF 30.)
Also, you will be walking. Quite a bit. A WHOLE BUNCH. Wear comfortable shoes. This is not the time to break in a new pair. The only thing worse than sunburn blisters are feet blisters. You still have to walk to get on the plane.

Strollers. If you are pushing one, please be careful and not run into the person walking in front you. If you are near one being pushed, please do not stop abruptly in the middle of a walkway. You will get clipped, and it's your own fault. Quit looking so wounded.

Theme Parks. Okay, this is common sense stuff. Sadly, many tourists forget to bring that with them.

Yes, it is crowded. Did you really think you were the only ones who thought to come to a theme park in the summer, when your kids are out of school?
Yes, there are a lot of kids running around. See above.
When you are walking to the next attraction, please do not stop in the middle of the walkway. Or at the intersections of walkways. There are several people (read: hordes) that you are now in the way of. Yes, you will get ran into. And by strollers.
Do not complain about the prices. You should have been prepared. (See Have a plan above.)
Do not complain that the line to the attraction is too long. It's crowded.
No, costumed characters CANNOT hold your child. It's called liability.
Please do not feed the birds or other animals. Seriously. They become too dependent on handouts. And then they get aggressive.
Do not complain that it's raining. Unless it's a hurricane, it is usually a brief event. In 15 minutes, it will feel very nice to be outside.
You are supposed to be here to relax and enjoy. Everyone else is here for the same goal. So above all else, do not complain.

Driving. Again, common sense is the key. Do not abruptly stop in the middle of the road. If you miss your exit, relax. There is another coming up soon. And if you ask for directions, but the person doesn't know where you are trying to go, simply thank them and ask someone else. You probably are asking another tourist in the first place.

There is certainly so much more I could go into, but I think you get the idea. Keep a cool head, no matter how hot it gets. And have fun! That's the whole idea for going on vacation in the first place!

I've Seen The Future, And It Will Be

2007-05-25T16:29:00.000-04:00

I was watching a special about how after the shuttle program is finally scuttled (yes, I was also watching Pirates of the Caribbean.) that we will again begin our journey back to the moon. Part of me is happy that finally, we will once again take that baby step towards exploring the planets and their satellites. Then we can form alliances with the multitudes of races we encounter. And if need be, rebel against the imperial forces. Maybe get into a few spaceship dogfights, using lasers. (Yes, I was also watching Star Wars. 30th anniversary and all.)

Another part of me wonders why it has taken us thirty years to get back there, or to even want to go back. Our technology today is so far ahead of where we were in the fifties and sixties. Yet those scientists and pioneers of the time dreamed of not only getting to the moon, but to Jupiter and Pluto and Beyond! They theorized about all the alien lifeforms we would encounter. They even gave us glimpses as to what the future would hold. And what devices we would need in these brave new worlds.

I guess a big part of me is disappointed. And mad. Actually furious. I mean, why were we not able to devise and build any of these technological marvels? Why are we not living in the "space age"? What has happened, or not happened, that we do not have any of the following:

1. Where is my pet monkey? They told us all about how there would come a horrific disease that would wipe out cats and dogs. I'm looking around, and I still see cats and dogs! Sure they are great companions and all, but monkeys would be way cooler. They could do tasks for us. Ask your dog or cat to do the dishes. Nothing. If you were to ask the pet monkey you should have right now, I know he would do them! I think if given enough training, monkeys could become advanced enough to be almost human! Maybe even learn to talk! Alas, it is still a dream. If I did have a pet monkey, I'd call him Cornelius. Or maybe Caesar.

2. I want a flying car. With escalating gas prices, we should be looking at alternatives to the internal combustion engine. Clearly, this is the fault of car makers and gas companies. They are sitting on these plans. Anti-gravity devices were always talked about until the seventies. Then we had our first oil crisis. And no one has talked about them since. Conspiracy I tell you.

3. Lightsabers. I want a blue one. Enough said.

4. Time machines. How will we ever know what color dinosaurs were if we cannot go back and see them. And we need to fix things in our past. Like embarrassing moments. Like when I asked Michelle Walker to marry me. And she laughed at me. Loudly. And then told all her friends. And they all laughed at me. Loudly. That was tough on a seven year-old's ego. Worst week of my life.

5. Space Age Clothing. This should have been the easy one. We kept coming out with all these synthetic fabrics. Even came out with some futuristic designs. Will men ever embrace the one-piece silver jumpsuit? And how nice would it be to see ladies in outfits like those worn in Barbarella?

I could go on, but I'm sure you get it. It's getting close to dinner time. Before I eat, I wanted to look over this book some tall, weird-looking guy handed me. It must be some kind of religious thing. It's called "To Serve Man". Plus, my wife is cooking up my favorite, a nice hot bowl of soylent blue. I do think it's much more tastier than soylent green was.

Ten Foot Tall and Bulletproof

2007-05-18T16:53:00.000-04:00

I am sitting at home, watching Chase today. His school said he has pink eye. His eye has been watering the past two days, but the doctor said he's actually fighting an ear infection. And the eye drainage is an early indicator of that. Whatever.

I've always tried to be there for Chase. I don't need a lot of sleep. Or at least not in large hour blocks. I know that I can always nap when he naps. When he has been sick in the past, I've been there for him. I've done this because at first Kat had really bad post-partum depression. I knew that I could always be the strong one. As I tell her, I am Ten Foot Tall and Bulletproof.

Until today. Today, I am fighting a bug. I am running a fever. A high fever. It's 85 degrees today, and I have the chills. I ache all over. And my throat feels about the size of a pencil. I want to crawl under the covers and sleep the world away. I want ice cream. Cookies and cream, or maybe chocolate caramel ribbon. And I want a pony.

But I am taking care of Chase. He acts/feels fine. He's playing. He's singing. (E-I-E-I. Then when I sing E-I-E-I-O, he sings it that way.) He wants to take his little push-car, the one he can hang onto and walk around, all through the house. He wants to clean off the bookshelves and sit in the newly empty space. He's having a blast. He doesn't want ice cream. He shook his head "no" vigorously when I asked him. He does want a pony.

Anyway, he's taking a nap right now. And I stopped to check my email before I join him in the land of dream. I'm still ten foot tall right now. I'll just have to dodge the bullets today.

One other thing; my kryptonite is poopy diapers.

Reinventing Me

2007-05-15T18:03:00.000-04:00

Maybe it's a mid-life crisis. Of sorts. Maybe it's because I want more of a 9 to 5 type schedule. Maybe it's because I want to get paid for walking on the beach. The time has come to reinvent me.

I pretend that I am a good writer. Hell, great blog so far! My creativity is the only thing bigger than my ego. I did receive a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree. (Don't tell me they only gave it to me to get rid of me.) And I did nothing with it. But the problem here is, it doesn't pay the bills. So far, I've lost money in this racket.

I have been trying to come up with a "cool career". One that satisfies my brain and still satisfies my stomach. I don't want to spend the next ten years getting a degree, even though I might actually use that one.
So far the best that I have come up with is appraisals. With everyone thinking they have a treasure trove stashed in the closet, there seems to be a fair amount of work to keep me busy. Plus, as an "info-career", I can do this until senility kicks in.

But before I jump blindly and boldly into anything, I thought I would ask the world (at least the two that have commented here. I appreciate you, John and Kelley!) what other types of careers are there that I might be overlooking?

Some careers I wouldn't do:
Teacher - at least not in a public school setting. In this day and age, a male teacher seems to have a target on his chest.
Anything involving heavy lifting, lots of physical exertion, etc. I want something I can do even when I'm 70.
Cooking. No one would eat it.
Prostitution or Phone sex. That would be like selling my soul.
Lawyer. (see prostitution reason) :p (I'm gonna get at least one response now!)

Poor Unfortunate Souls

2007-05-14T22:27:00.000-04:00

There are three types of people in the world:
1. Those that see the glass as half full.
2. Those that see the glass as half empty.
3. Those that see the glass and say "Who the hell's been drinking out of my glass!?!"

I fall into the last group. Somehow, someway, it seems life always throws me a curve ball. And I swing at it like I've a chance to hit it. Like when Kat was accepted to the University of New Orleans masters program in drama. I didn't think that finding a job would be difficult. In actuality, it was over 10 months before I was gainfully employed. We spent 8 months living in two cities before I finally moved from Dallas to be with her. After 2 months, and not even able to land a simple retail job, I was delivering pizzas just to keep some money coming in.
Now I am not complaining. I ended up with a job that got me to where I wanted to move. It simply was not the way I envisioned getting to Florida. I still do not see living in NOLA as a positive or negative experience. It did have some great moments. The Mardi Gras that is portrayed in pop culture and the media is the exact opposite of the actual celebrations. It is a time for families, with kids coming out the winners. But all in all, I could have dealt with getting to Florida without the 3 year pit stop.

What started these ruminations was going out for Chinese food. I love Chinese food. I can see why it is eaten everyday in China. And I am never hungry later. I don't know how that got started. The only thing that I could do without is the fortune cookie. I cannot stand them. To me they taste like sugar coated cardboard. My wife looks forward to it. I don't know why. She has these little rituals to go with it, too. First, you do not take the closest one to you. I don't know why. Next, you break it in half and eat the half that does not have the fortune still in it, but you do not read the fortune yet. I know why you eat the half - you do not want to eat the paper. I do not know why you cannot read the fortune yet. Then and only then, you can take the fortune out and read it. Again, I don't know why. Really, why am I reading it? These fortunes almost always are inane. They range from the duh - "You will obtain your goal if you maintain your course.", to the huh? - "It is better to lose a lover that to love a loser."
Now the trouble always starts when you get one that seems to give you a glimmer of hope. Sort of the glass half full kind of hope. Like once I had a fortune that said, "You will soon come into a sum of money." This is always good news. Who doesn't want to come into money. Then, about a day and a half later it happened. I found 38 cents. A quarter, a dime and three pennies. Yeah. It didn't say a large sum of money. Big whoop. I couldn't even buy a stamp with it.

That has all changed. I have found the glass half empty type of fortunes. No more do I put up with the "Your ability to juggle many tasks will take you far." load of crap. Now after a plate of spicy General Tso's Chicken or flavorful Mongolian Beef, I stomp on my fortune cookie. Then I go to Bad Cookie. There I find the kind of life-repudiating saying I need. Now I take glee in "Simplicity and boredom are your themes in dress." or "Save now for future calamity."
Still the best fortune I have received - "You will have difficulty finding new outlets for you own minor creative abilities." How can this be a good thing? It confirms that I have more than one creative ability! Life is good.

Top 6 - 80's Songs I Sing With When in the Car Alone

2007-05-10T18:03:00.001-04:00

1. You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - Dead or Alive, 1985
2. Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles, 1986
3. Tainted Love - Soft Cell, 1981
4. You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi, 1986
5. Land of Confusion - Genesis, 1986
6. An Innocent Man - Billy Joel, 1983

It helped that Tainted Love and You Spin Me were used in Coneheads and Wedding Singer, respectively. This gave them more airtime.
Land of Confusion still has one of my favorite vidoes. It is fascinating to see that the anti-Republican playbook remains the same today: show the opposition as being incompetent, ignorant or an imbicile.

Why a Top 6? Because it's one better that 5, and not as cumbersome as 10.

Toe Crackers Anonymous Meeting - Friday, May 4th

2007-05-04T16:51:00.000-04:00

Hi. My Name is Scott. I am a Toe Cracker.

Chorus: "Hi, Scott."

This is my first visit. I guess it all started about the same as the rest of you. I started popping my finger knuckles back in my teen years. Could have been earlier. Suffice to say, it's been a good long while. Other kids showed me how. One day, after school, some boys were hanging out by the 7-11. They were older than me. In hushed tones and with a couple of them as lookouts they practiced their habit. One of them called me over, "Have you tried this?" Then he cracked both of his index fingers. Shocked, I turned to go. One of the biggest said, "What's a matter? You afraid?" In my head I could hear my Mom's voice: "You'll get arthritis if you do that!" and "Your knuckles will swell up to the size of golf balls!" They circled me. I had nowhere to go. Another taunted, "I bet you can't even pop one. Go ahead. I dare you!" And with that I succumbed. I succumbed to the pressure of my so-called peers. I raised both hands, put my thumbs on the sides of my index fingers, and pressed with gentle even pressure. Pop! Both rang out! The right one just a fraction of a second behind my left. It was almost like an echo; like they were conversing.
I cannot tell you how good it felt. It was such sweet release. I knew I was hooked. Hooked for life. But it never quite felt as good as it did that first time. Even when I began crack other knuckles, it wasn't the same. I knew I needed more. And bigger pops! Soon it was my neck, then it was my back. But it never measured up.
And of course, I had to do this in private. I almost got caught a couple of times. My Dad would ask, "What was that sound?" I would either pretend I didn't hear anything or shrug in such a way to try and pop my neck. I knew if my Mom ever found out, it would break her heart.

As I grew older, I did find other addicts. We would crack fingers, necks and backs until we got the munchies or hurt too much. The bad part of it was getting my girlfriend hooked. Her thing was letting me pop her neck. Once, her Mom caught us. Aghast, she yelled and screamed at us. Then her father chased me out of the house with a shotgun. I never saw her again. I did hear she got help, though. I'm glad. I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

Then one day in my early twenties, I stumbled onto the hard stuff. All popped and cracked, I sat there staring at my feet. I thought, "Toes are a lot like fingers. Maybe I could pop them. I put my right foot sideways with my big toe on the carpet. With that same gentle constant pressure, I pushed my toe into the carpet. The pop was so loud I thought maybe the people in the next apartment heard it! The release was incredible! It was exactly like that first time cracking my index finger! I turned my left foot to a mirror image of the right and pressed down. POP! I was in ecstasy!
Now I craved more! This time in quantity. I was cracking my toes all the time. I would even make excuses, like going to the restroom, just so I could take off my shoes and start popping. Friends and coworkers thought I might have a prostate problem. Or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Or maybe colon cancer. I used this to my advantage. Bosses excused me whenever I asked. But truthfully, what I had was more disgusting. Sometimes sitting in the stall, how I wished I had IBS instead.
If I wasn't able to get away I found that I could subdue my craving by popping my ankles. A simple twisting movement would diminish the need, if only for a short time. I could even get away with it in a group setting. Like turning to walk somewhere, and it "accidentally" would happen. Still, I know I would turn red faced.

Now, at middle age, I realize that this cannot continue. I have a child. He'll soon be asking questions about knuckle cracking. How can I tell him it's wrong, but still enjoy my habit. Do I tell him how his knuckles will swell up? Mine haven't. Looking around the room, I don't see any deformed hands and feet. And arthritis? Anyone here suffering? ...No? ...Could... Could my Mom have been wrong? ...Did she lie to me? ...

Is the restroom nearby? I think my IBS is flaring up.

Perfect Parenting

2007-04-30T15:08:00.000-04:00

By now, most everyone has heard Alec Baldwin's message left on his daughter's phone, or at least knows the gist of it. I found the furor over it quite eye-opening, in the fact that so many people indignantly said that they would not do something so horrible and mean to their child. Yes, there were those with opposing political views that spoke out against him, but I'm not going down that path. Yes, what he said was heinous. It was sort of funny that he could not remember her age. And yes, Alec Baldwin has shown in the past that he lets his anger get the best of him. No, I am not defending him. But what I want to know is this: How is it possible that there are so many "perfect parents" out there, but no "perfect kids"?

I listened to or read transcripts of several talk shows (mostly radio), where far too often the caller said they had never, nor would ever, do something like this to their child. They would go on about how they never argue in front of their kids. Even those that had gone through ugly divorces said they didn't lose it with or in front of their kids. Can this really be possible? Sure, there will be some instances of this. But they really are the exception, not the rule. There was only one mother who at least admitted she argued with her husband in front of her kids.

I am married and have a 13 month old son. Most of the time, I have the longest fuse of anyone I know when it comes to anger and frustration. But my wife can push my buttons. And I can push hers. This usually ends up with us arguing. And sometimes it is in front of him. No, it has never reached Baldwin level. I can only hope and pray it never does.
Kat worries that we shouldn't argue in front of Chase. I am not that concerned, in that I think it is more likely that he will see the big picture. 90% to 95% of the time, we do not argue. We are quite happy and share that joy with him. I just know that conflict is a part of life. What is most important is that he sees how to resolve the conflicts. That sometimes "heated debate" is but only one way to get to the resolution.

This came back to me last night when I read about how a man stuffed a washcloth in a 10 week old baby's mouth and taped it to the baby so it could not remove it. Then he put the child in a carrier and in a closet. Just because he was frustrated over the baby's incessant crying. His girlfriend, who knew he was doing this, finally checked on the baby after a length of time. Yes, the baby was dead. If you can stomach it, you can get the details here.

I know that this and the Baldwin story are the extremes. I know that on the opposite end, there are a few "perfect parents". But where do the rest of us reside when it comes to this middle ground? What measures do you take so that your kid/kids do not have to deal with your frustrations?

Last night I went to bed at 1:30am. I was playing on the internet and knew that since I was off today, Kat could take Chase to "school" and I would get to sleep in. I could then get up and run errands. At 2:30am, Chase starts crying. He has a couple of molars breaking through. I go in to give him Liquid Nap (baby Tylenol) and I am greeted by a smiling, standing, very awake little boy. I tried rocking him for a while. Nothing, he's up. So we go into the living room, spread out the toys and play. He's up for TWO HOURS! Finally, I pick him up. Thirty more minutes of rocking and holding him, I finally get him back to sleep. AND NOT ONCE DID I GET ANGRY OR FRUSTRATED. I am being honest with you. I sat there and watched poker on ESPN2. We practiced our walking and enjoyed the time. No, really!

But to be completely honest, for those 2.5 hours, I did think about all the chores he will have to do when he's older. You see, I'm a "big picture" kind of guy.

Greetings and Invitations

2007-04-30T13:53:00.000-04:00

There was an unsettling moment as I built this blog. I thought back through the past several years of posting on discussion boards and reading various blogs. Most were political, some were hilarious, and a few were simply thought provoking.
I grew tired of discussion boards, mostly due to trolls who would not only counter with lies, but attack and disparage those who disagreed with them. Blogs were definitely kinder and gentler. But they also had a sense of community. I always felt that opining on any of these sites would be tantamount to crashing some random party, walking up to the hostess and french-kissing her. Everyone would be aghast and I would be firmly and quickly shown the exit. I was more like a ninja. Stealthily I would come into a site, gather the information I wanted and skulk to the next site.

OKAY! OKAY! Turn the spotlight off! The truth is, I was a Blog Voyeur! I revelled in the anonymity! But that is the past. No more!

Something unexpected happened that has changed this. John, a life-long friend and conspirator told me he had his own blog. This was liberating to me. It allowed me to feel part of a community. I knew if I said something stupid, he would laugh at/with me. Since then I have gone back to a few of the blogs I kinda always wanted to comment on and did! And some of the hostesses didn't mind being french-kissed! (One likes calling it patriot-kissing; I guess still holding a grudge...)

Now I am putting myself out there. What you are reading now will hopefully get better. I know that I am full of, well, I'll say opinions for now. My sarcasm setting is two levels down from "kill". I will rant. I will try to be thought provoking. And being very right brain, I will be random. From time to time, I might resort to fiction. But no matter what, I invite anyone who wants to comment to do so. Please! And Thank You!

A special invitation goes out to Kelley. Her blog, Blue is a Circle, is what I aspire to when I talk about provoking thought. Your April 19 post is one I still wrestle with in my head. And fair warning, I will be commenting on your posts!

Also, special invitations go out to Michael, Tori, and Christina. I hope you find topics you wish to comment on, and do so.