It's Good To Have Goals

Just a quick Life Check:
Chase will be the Big Three shortly. He has moved into the Big Boy bed with relative ease. In fact, he has taken each and every change with such ease that I sometimes wonder if we were given the wrong child.
Yet, with all his adaptability, we have yet to master the potty. He would rather stay in diapers. I cannot seem to get past this hurdle.
Any advice? Anyone still out there?

Does My Insurance Cover That?

A wave of sinusitis and flu paid us all a visit last week. And since I am now an alarmist parent who does not wish to even pass by a hospital, we rushed Chase into the doctor's office for a second opinion. (The first being a check against medical websites and his hospital's discharge papers.)
He was not at all acting that sick. Daddy, fever ridden with chills, had on multiple layers, a hat and ski gloves. Did I mention it's in the 70's? Much too cold to be out running around with chills.
The doctor got all the information she needed from Mommy and Daddy. Still, she talks to the kids to make sure nothing is overlooked. So she asked Chase if he had any boo-boos. She asked, "Do you hurt anywhere?"
Chase answered, "Yeah."
"What hurts?" queried the doctor.
Chase responds, "My feelings."
Mommy quips, "I don't think this is the right doctor for that."

Almost 3, and already I have to worry how I have emotionally scarred my child.

That Tingly Feeling

We/I take Chase to the themeparks on a somewhat regular basis. Three times a month is about average. Not just to Disney, but to SeaWorld, also. Is it possible that I am destroying any magic that these places have?
I did not make it to Walt Disney World until I was 27. It was someplace I had always wanted to visit. (More like work/play/sleep/live there.) It was truly a memorable experience from the time I knew that I would go. I knew more about WDW and the inner workings and minute details than most will ever know. So I enjoy it in ways few really ever will. Like, did you know that the windows along Main Street, USA, have the names of the designers and workers involved in building the park? I can also tell you what role some of those played. Is that something that is necessary to enjoy the Magic Kingdom? No. But for me, it enhances the experience. Even today, I still get that tingly feeling as I drive onto WDW property.
The underlying issue is in how I view other parks. Or specifically, how I view Six Flags Over Texas. We would go maybe twice a year. I always looked forward to going. But it did not really mean that much to me. Sure, I knew the ins and outs of the park. I knew insider tips. I hardly ever needed a map. I even "worked" there - one day as a fundraiser for church. But, never once did I ever get that tingly feeling after the age of 12 or so. It was a place to go and play for a day.
So, here I am in Orlando. I live in between three of the most well known themeparks in the world. I enjoy going to two of them with Chase. I would go once a week if I could. But will these places become a "place to go and play for a day"? Will he ever even get that tingly feeling?

Hospital is a Four-Letter Word

It has been a long last couple of months. So many things happened in such a short span of time, that even now I am still trying to recover. Without going into all of the plot twists in our lives, I do want to use this space to unload some of it.
The most impactful event was the hospitalization of Chase. The week before Thanksgiving, he developed a cough and a fever. A doctor visit found nothing in his lungs, but an ear infection. Some antibiotics were prescribed and we went on our way. But four days later, he was not better. He was actually doing much worse, and not wanting to eat or drink. A call to the after hours number led to speculation of meningitis. With that, we headed to the ER.
After a few hours it was determined Chase had Pneumonia (and I spelled it correctly without using spellcheck!) as well as still having an infection. That turned out to be Cytomegalovirus, or "baby mono" as it was affectionately referred to by one of the nurses. He was admitted that night and put on an IV, as he was becoming dehydrated.
The kicker with Chase is that he is allergic to Amoxycillin. So that meant trying to find something that works, but doesn't turn him into a leopard. The initial prescription had no effect on the infection. And several antibiotics later, we found three others to which he is allergic. In the end, the one medicine that worked turned out to be one of the most expensive on the market today. He has/had to continue taking it even after we left the hospital, and the 100mg that came home with us would have cost us over $1000 had the insurance not covered it.
So, after 10 anxious days and 9 sleepless nights at the hospital, we came home worn out and needing time to recuperate. And really, we were/are out of sync with the rest of the world. In actuality the entire event lasted over 3 weeks. Chase has proved more resilient than I, as he is back to his old self - minus a few pounds - and (hopefully) ready to get back into his daily routine. I still haven't gotten back to speed. I cannot get a restful night's sleep. I still wake up about every two hours, following the regimen of the nurses' rounds. And yes, compelled to check on him at least once a night. I thought the feel of an actual bed would stop it, but it hasn't.

In an attempt to make light of the situation, I did come up with a couple of Top 6 lists. If anything, they will be cathartic for me. I hope you enjoy.

Mini Me Mimicry

Me - Waiting for Kat, in a T-shirt and shorts, hands in pockets.
Chase - Beside me, in a T-shirt and shorts.

Chase decides to stand like Daddy, but has no pockets.  He lifts his shirt and sticks his hands in shorts at each hip.  Looks at Daddy and both smile.  Then, to complete the look, he sticks out his stomach as far as he can.  Looks at Daddy and only Chase laughs.  And Daddy realizes what a poor role model he truly is.

Salads have become my meal of choice.

It's a Guy Thing

Today, my son took that next step to manhood. Belching.

Not a burp. Not one of those chesty, breathy kinds of release of pressure. No. This was a belch. Deep from the pit of the gut, belch.
It did surprise him. He was not sure what had occured. Was it good? Was it bad? He looked to me for guidance.
I gave him a knowing smile, took a deep breath, and answered his with one of my own.

And then we laughed together. He laughed until he fell over. I wiped a proud tear away from the corner of my eye.

Today, we bonded. Bonded in a way no female could ever understand. And now I wait for another of those moments meant to strengthen that bond. Both those that involve bodily functions and those that don't.

Yeah, it's a Guy Thing.

Now We Are Two!

Chase turns two today. It is a sort of sad/happy moment. He is no longer a baby. He really hasn't been for awhile now, but this milestone is usually the delineation between baby and toddler. That is the sad part.
The happy part is he is growing and developing daily before our eyes! He is a cross between a tape recorder and dictator. I realize that you have to be careful what you say in front of him, but the real problem is that the rest of the world does not. Going shopping has taken on a new aspect. And usually the people with vulgar language have kids of their own! That is messed up!
The fun part is still getting him to control his emotions. And I know that will take much more time and patience. The little dictator becomes indignant if you try to do something he does not want you to do. Last week, Kat borrowed a Laurie Berkner DVD from the library. He loves music of all sorts. (He will stop what he is doing to listen to the themesong of whatever TV show is on. He then goes back to business when it ends.) So, one night while Kat was at a rehearal, I put it in. I tried to get him to dance with me, and began moving in the geeky/awkard way that I dance. He commanded, "No dance, Daddy!" But I didn't listen. That is when he went nuclear and screamed! Then he started crying and said, "No dance!" When I stopped, he pointed to the couch and said, "Daddy, sit here!" I did as I was commanded.
This week he is moving up to a new class. It is much larger and has more kids. So far, he is not adjusting as well as he had in the past to the change. But this will not last long. Most dictators love new worlds to conquer. And more people to rule!

See Chase Laugh!

There is nothing so pure a child's laugh. It is genuine. And upon hearing it, you cannot help yourself but join in. I think our original purpose, what we are created for, is to laugh.

So after bath time, we always brush Chase's teeth. It is that sorta, kinda toothpaste that helps you develop the habit of brushing. It probably would run far, far away if it saw gingivitis. He likes it. Both the sensation and I am sure the flavor. He stands on one of those step/seat things so that he can see the sink and himself in the mirror. When he's done, he gets a Dixie-type paper cup with just enough water. He simply drinks the water.
But tonight, Mommy decided that he should learn to spit the water out. Now, Daddy warns that this is probably not a good thing. But Mommy knowledge is vastly superior, so she showed him how it's done.
*Swig of water. Spit.*
Chase cracks up. He found this so funny, that he begins laughing. Mommy repeats the process.
*Swig of water. Spit.*
Now he's laughing hard! He almost falls off his step thing. He laughs so hard he can barely catch his breath!
Once more: *Swig of water. Spit.*
He can barely contain himself. And we are laughing as hard as he is! After a several minutes of laughter, we put the cup down. It's time to clean up the toys and get ready for bed.

Right before bed time, we read a book. And we drink a glass of milk. But this time, Chase begins to laugh, and laugh hard. And then he takes a sip of milk. And he spits. And more laughter! Mostly from Daddy!
*Daddy does the "told ya so" dance*
I cannot wait until Mommy picks him up from "school" and hear how ALL the kids in the class are now spitting their drinks!

Why America Is The Way It Is

Just so we are all starting at the same point, here is the underlying assumption made: I (and you) already know this little gem of wisdom. This is simply to help vent and rant.

At the "nationally branded" department store tonight - Not that one, the other one. Yes, bulls eye. - I witnessed that well known struggle of mother and child where said child goes ballistic because said mother tells child "No". This child wanted a toy. Mother said she already had a similar toy. Child counters with "But this one does 'Y', and mine only does 'X'!" Then mother says the immortal words, "You think money grows on trees? Do you know how hard I work just to put food on the table and clothes on your back? You don't even say 'Thank you' to me!"

Well, of course not! This child has been given no reason to be thankful! You have made her feel like she is the center of the universe! You have given to her at every other turn, you have taken her to wherever she has needed to go, and you have never taken the time to explain to her what her limits are!

And mainly this is due to the fact YOUR PARENTS treated you as the center of the universe. You have only perpetuated the myth.

My parents taught us the value of money very early on. We were not "given" an allowance. We had chores to do. If we did the chores, we received compensation. They explained this is why people must work. If you did not work, you did not get money. If you have no money, you did not get to buy things. And we were taught what tithing was, and we had to give 10% each week.

Unfortunately, too many Americans feel that they are "entitled" to a certain standard of living. Far too many people do not know that what "VALUE" is. Far too many are given things, money, food, shelter, etc., when they haven't earned it. Far too many do not comprehend that these things have no VALUE to them. They do not understand that these items will not bring them satisfaction. They have lost the VALUE of their humanity.

Before anyone goes off about "widows and orphans", I am all for giving a helping hand to get people back on their feet. We all need that from time to time. Unfortunately, we have created an entire industry based on the down-trodden. Instead of bringing people up, we keep people down. We give and give without thinking of the consequence it has on the recipient.
Even FDR recognized that during the Great Depression, people would work in order to get help from the government. The creation of the Public Works Administration did more than give people jobs. It helped revive America's economy.

My ranting aside, I fear for the America my child will grow up to find. We have to do something now to break this cycle of entitlement. We have to show our children that path may be harder, but earning what you have is far more fulfilling. We have to teach them what VALUE truly is.

Ten Foot Tall and Bulletproof

I am sitting at home, watching Chase today. His school said he has pink eye. His eye has been watering the past two days, but the doctor said he's actually fighting an ear infection. And the eye drainage is an early indicator of that. Whatever.

I've always tried to be there for Chase. I don't need a lot of sleep. Or at least not in large hour blocks. I know that I can always nap when he naps. When he has been sick in the past, I've been there for him. I've done this because at first Kat had really bad post-partum depression. I knew that I could always be the strong one. As I tell her, I am Ten Foot Tall and Bulletproof.

Until today. Today, I am fighting a bug. I am running a fever. A high fever. It's 85 degrees today, and I have the chills. I ache all over. And my throat feels about the size of a pencil. I want to crawl under the covers and sleep the world away. I want ice cream. Cookies and cream, or maybe chocolate caramel ribbon. And I want a pony.

But I am taking care of Chase. He acts/feels fine. He's playing. He's singing. (E-I-E-I. Then when I sing E-I-E-I-O, he sings it that way.) He wants to take his little push-car, the one he can hang onto and walk around, all through the house. He wants to clean off the bookshelves and sit in the newly empty space. He's having a blast. He doesn't want ice cream. He shook his head "no" vigorously when I asked him. He does want a pony.

Anyway, he's taking a nap right now. And I stopped to check my email before I join him in the land of dream. I'm still ten foot tall right now. I'll just have to dodge the bullets today.

One other thing; my kryptonite is poopy diapers.

Perfect Parenting

By now, most everyone has heard Alec Baldwin's message left on his daughter's phone, or at least knows the gist of it. I found the furor over it quite eye-opening, in the fact that so many people indignantly said that they would not do something so horrible and mean to their child. Yes, there were those with opposing political views that spoke out against him, but I'm not going down that path. Yes, what he said was heinous. It was sort of funny that he could not remember her age. And yes, Alec Baldwin has shown in the past that he lets his anger get the best of him. No, I am not defending him. But what I want to know is this: How is it possible that there are so many "perfect parents" out there, but no "perfect kids"?

I listened to or read transcripts of several talk shows (mostly radio), where far too often the caller said they had never, nor would ever, do something like this to their child. They would go on about how they never argue in front of their kids. Even those that had gone through ugly divorces said they didn't lose it with or in front of their kids. Can this really be possible? Sure, there will be some instances of this. But they really are the exception, not the rule. There was only one mother who at least admitted she argued with her husband in front of her kids.

I am married and have a 13 month old son. Most of the time, I have the longest fuse of anyone I know when it comes to anger and frustration. But my wife can push my buttons. And I can push hers. This usually ends up with us arguing. And sometimes it is in front of him. No, it has never reached Baldwin level. I can only hope and pray it never does.
Kat worries that we shouldn't argue in front of Chase. I am not that concerned, in that I think it is more likely that he will see the big picture. 90% to 95% of the time, we do not argue. We are quite happy and share that joy with him. I just know that conflict is a part of life. What is most important is that he sees how to resolve the conflicts. That sometimes "heated debate" is but only one way to get to the resolution.

This came back to me last night when I read about how a man stuffed a washcloth in a 10 week old baby's mouth and taped it to the baby so it could not remove it. Then he put the child in a carrier and in a closet. Just because he was frustrated over the baby's incessant crying. His girlfriend, who knew he was doing this, finally checked on the baby after a length of time. Yes, the baby was dead. If you can stomach it, you can get the details here.

I know that this and the Baldwin story are the extremes. I know that on the opposite end, there are a few "perfect parents". But where do the rest of us reside when it comes to this middle ground? What measures do you take so that your kid/kids do not have to deal with your frustrations?

Last night I went to bed at 1:30am. I was playing on the internet and knew that since I was off today, Kat could take Chase to "school" and I would get to sleep in. I could then get up and run errands. At 2:30am, Chase starts crying. He has a couple of molars breaking through. I go in to give him Liquid Nap (baby Tylenol) and I am greeted by a smiling, standing, very awake little boy. I tried rocking him for a while. Nothing, he's up. So we go into the living room, spread out the toys and play. He's up for TWO HOURS! Finally, I pick him up. Thirty more minutes of rocking and holding him, I finally get him back to sleep. AND NOT ONCE DID I GET ANGRY OR FRUSTRATED. I am being honest with you. I sat there and watched poker on ESPN2. We practiced our walking and enjoyed the time. No, really!

But to be completely honest, for those 2.5 hours, I did think about all the chores he will have to do when he's older. You see, I'm a "big picture" kind of guy.