So, a "discussion" with Kat has led to a bit of introspection. It started with her wanting to move back to Dallas. Closer to family, friends, etc. I, on the other hand, have no reason to do so. No (immediate) family, friends or etc. No reason and no desire to move. That's when I learned her plan was only to be here about three years; the same amount of time as we spent in New Orleans. That was about two years ago. My plan was to be here about ten years. Maybe more. Actually, I have no exit plan. Needless to say, this put us at odds with each other.
I really don't know where I would like to live next. I do know I don't want Dallas. Ironically, eight years ago, I didn't want to leave it. Dallas was permanence. Florida was a place I wanted to live, but not until we had kids and they were old enough to enjoy what this place has to offer.
Now, I have an aunt and uncle and two cousins in Dallas. That's it. My parents have since moved. I have lost contact with the so-called friends I had there. Dallas now feels intangible.
The introspection part: My parents lived in the same house for over 30 years. We grew up there. My grandparents lived in the same house or town for several decades. My grandmother and only surviving grandparent lives in a house that was built before the turn of the century. The 20th century. Talk about permanence. My dad worked at the same company for over 30 years. He retired from there. Both of my grandfathers did the same in their respective careers. I realize that was a different time and place. Still, these are the ideals I have in my head when it comes to how I see living in a particular locale. I want permanence. At least what passes for it in the 21st century.
I think about my grandfathers much more now that Chase has entered my life. I especially think about the advice they imparted. The stories they told. The habits and lifestyles they kept. I know that I learned to love reading by having them read stories to me. Or when they would tell me stories and jokes. Further, I only heard one cuss word uttered by either one of them. And I only heard it once. (The D word.) In fact, the closest thing to an off-color joke my mother's father ever told around the grand kids is still one of my favorites. Indulge me:
A farmer came in at the end of a long day. Exhausted, he tells his wife all about what occurred. "Joe and I were plowing the North end of the farm, when a rattlesnake spooked Joe's horse. The horse took off with the plow behind him but Joe didn't let go of the plow. I yelled at Joe to let go, but the horse was just going too fast. Then they got to the treeline and the horse made a sharp turn. Joe was whipped into the trees. Joe was pretty cut up, but the worst was that he took a branch to... you know... his back side... to that um, opening..."
"Rectum?" asked his wife.
"Wrecked him! Durn near killed him!"
I was about 10 years old at the time. I knew what a rectum was. But the play on words intrigued me. I suddenly found there were several layers to how words could be used. I also know that this is when I began listening to words sung in country music. Those lyrics were full of double meanings and plays on words. For a frustrating summer, I attempted to write songs just like I was listening to. They ranged from pitiful to downright appalling. My career as a song writer ended, and I think the world is a much better place because of that.
I have been wondering if any of my grandparents would have moved around more. In today's world, where would they have ended up? I do know that they did move early on in their lives. My father's mom and dad moved to California from Kansas during the Great Depression. So did many others, all out of necessity. And I know that my great-grandfather really got around. He started out in Ohio, made it as far west at California, through the South including Texas and Tennessee, and if memory serves, he lived in Illinois and Nebraska before landing in Kansas. Why that kind of wandering/exploring gene became dormant for the next few generations still puzzles me. Don't get me wrong. I love visiting/exploring other places, just no desire to live there for any length of time.
Which brings me back around to permanence. And on to a much larger issue of why. What is it that I seek with permanence? I realize I am not a fan of change, but it goes beyond that. Why stay in any one place?
I know some want to make their portion of the world better than how they found it. I know some are a slave to a job/career. And I know some who live in a place for what the surroundings provide them. I mostly fall into the third category. While so much of the country freezes, I can enjoy some of the world's best beaches. For some, the entertainment here is not their cup of tea, but for me, a morning at the theme parks is great fun. If I ever move from here, I know that I would miss it. And dwell on it several times a day.
Maybe I am being selfish. I know that it would be good for Chase to see his grandparents more. But I am afraid that living in Dallas, the number of visits would drop off dramatically over time. When we lived there, we would see her family maybe once every two to three months. They never came to us. We would go there.
I have even thought about some kind of compromise. Maybe in Texas, but in the Hill Country. That way family is close for her, but still places for me to enjoy. Would either of us be happy with that? It seems like asking a doctor to remove a tattoo from a leg, and then place it on an arm.
And here is where the tangents and trains of thought have led. For now, I think we will be here for some time. Chase will have his formative years in the state of his birth. And I would like to think that my reason for being here will move towards making here a better place than I found it. Kat already is doing that with teaching. And what better type of permanence (memory) could there be than shaping the minds and lives of future generations?
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
December 29, 2008
Introspection
I certainly do not want to end with a depressing post for the year. Still, I am using this blog as a cathartic release right now. This is more of a way to let some thoughts bubble to the surface so I can face them.
I am a December baby. (And no, I was not born the day Pearl Harbor was atttacked. *cough* Dubber *cough*) I endured growing up with "slash gifts" - Bday/Christmas gifts. I vowed then that my birthday would be my day; a day for me. Yes, I spend it with family, but I take a chunk of time to think about the past and the future. A sort of stopping the car, stretching the legs and checking the map. Trouble is since 40, the map of what's ahead seems like a short trip. Mortality looms, looking over my shoulder...
This year, I spent my birthday in a hospital room, facing Mortality as it looked at both me and my son. No, Chase was never in any danger. But seeing him lay there for hours on end, while most any day he hardly stops moving even to eat, scared me more than I could ever describe. I was completely unprepared for this. And it broke me. It crushed me. (In his short time on earth, he has already spent more time in the hospital than I have in my lifetime.)
Then, Mortality took a road trip. My parents recently moved to Alabama; partly to be closer to my brother and not so far from me. They are moving their stuff slowly and deliberately. They bought a truck and a trailer so that they can take their time in settling into their new house. A few days after Chase left the hospital, I got a call from my brother. He hardly ever calls me; I usually have to call him. He just had a call from Dad. They had been in accident. All he knew for sure was that they had gone over an icy bridge near Canton and the trailer and truck sort of jack-knifed. When they hit dry pavement on the other side, Dad had over corrected and they flipped the truck onto the passenger side. While Dad said he was not hurt, Mom was. She had several cuts and her neck was hurt. He would call me when he knew more.
Within fifteen minutes, he called again to say that Mom had a broken bone in her neck. She was stable (that word again), but that they were taking her to Parkland in Dallas to do a CT scan. All I could do is lay awake all night (something I was very used to doing) and pray.
The next morning brought with it the call that she had indeed broken the first vertebra, but had not injured her spinal column. She had full use of her limbs, etc. She also had ruptured a vein beside it, but that surgery was not necessary. Aspirin to thin the blood would do. Bruised and cut from all of the glass from the broken passenger window were the only other injuries. She was out of the hospital in two days, but has to wear a neck brace for three months.
It is notable that my Dad has driven millions of miles. And that is not an exaggeration. During that time, I only know of one ticket that he has received. And this is very first accident he has had. I am hoping that this will be his only accident.
During all this time, I felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane. Just one wrong move, and I would be sucked up and into oblivion. It was all too overwhelming. But I internalized it. I only let bits of it to assail me during the day. At night was a different story. I knew what my Dad was going through. He never left his wife's side. He did not even consider getting checked out until his wife was in the clear and there were others to be there for her. Even with the risk of having internal injuries, his agony at causing harm to her consumed him. He was living out a fear he, and I, face every time we take the family anywhere: I do not want to bring harm (or death) to others while being the one driving the car. His dread was now a reality.
It seems strange to note that I still feel like a 28 year-old. And Chase and I play more like 2 kids. There is no 40 year difference with us. I'm just taller. It was just that with my birthday and the coming new year, I realized that I am coming upon 25 years since graduating from high school. I have been out of public schools double the amount of time I spent going. No, I do not plan on going to any reunions. Still, a thought hit me right between the eyes. There are those with whom I went to school, some that I saw during all twelve of those years, that will have 2 year-old grandchildren. Perhaps some of the grandkids could be older than Chase. I am in no way saying that I regret my choice. In all honesty, I am certainly pleased and feel blessed with having Chase now. I rather think that if we had children soon after getting married, it would have put too much stress on us. It potentially could have ended our marriage. That would have been years of therapy - "I was the reason my parents divorced."
I know that this has been a bit of rambling. Like I said, most of this is a release of thoughts and feelings that I keep inside. I know that it isn't healthy. I started writing some of this in a journal. But the idea that someone may read this gives it more weight. And takes more of the weight off of me.
So here I am facing a dichotomy: A happy, healthy life with a loving family, all the while feeling like it could all end so swiftly and mercilessly. All I can do is thank God for one more day of living.
I am a December baby. (And no, I was not born the day Pearl Harbor was atttacked. *cough* Dubber *cough*) I endured growing up with "slash gifts" - Bday/Christmas gifts. I vowed then that my birthday would be my day; a day for me. Yes, I spend it with family, but I take a chunk of time to think about the past and the future. A sort of stopping the car, stretching the legs and checking the map. Trouble is since 40, the map of what's ahead seems like a short trip. Mortality looms, looking over my shoulder...
This year, I spent my birthday in a hospital room, facing Mortality as it looked at both me and my son. No, Chase was never in any danger. But seeing him lay there for hours on end, while most any day he hardly stops moving even to eat, scared me more than I could ever describe. I was completely unprepared for this. And it broke me. It crushed me. (In his short time on earth, he has already spent more time in the hospital than I have in my lifetime.)
Then, Mortality took a road trip. My parents recently moved to Alabama; partly to be closer to my brother and not so far from me. They are moving their stuff slowly and deliberately. They bought a truck and a trailer so that they can take their time in settling into their new house. A few days after Chase left the hospital, I got a call from my brother. He hardly ever calls me; I usually have to call him. He just had a call from Dad. They had been in accident. All he knew for sure was that they had gone over an icy bridge near Canton and the trailer and truck sort of jack-knifed. When they hit dry pavement on the other side, Dad had over corrected and they flipped the truck onto the passenger side. While Dad said he was not hurt, Mom was. She had several cuts and her neck was hurt. He would call me when he knew more.
Within fifteen minutes, he called again to say that Mom had a broken bone in her neck. She was stable (that word again), but that they were taking her to Parkland in Dallas to do a CT scan. All I could do is lay awake all night (something I was very used to doing) and pray.
The next morning brought with it the call that she had indeed broken the first vertebra, but had not injured her spinal column. She had full use of her limbs, etc. She also had ruptured a vein beside it, but that surgery was not necessary. Aspirin to thin the blood would do. Bruised and cut from all of the glass from the broken passenger window were the only other injuries. She was out of the hospital in two days, but has to wear a neck brace for three months.
It is notable that my Dad has driven millions of miles. And that is not an exaggeration. During that time, I only know of one ticket that he has received. And this is very first accident he has had. I am hoping that this will be his only accident.
During all this time, I felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane. Just one wrong move, and I would be sucked up and into oblivion. It was all too overwhelming. But I internalized it. I only let bits of it to assail me during the day. At night was a different story. I knew what my Dad was going through. He never left his wife's side. He did not even consider getting checked out until his wife was in the clear and there were others to be there for her. Even with the risk of having internal injuries, his agony at causing harm to her consumed him. He was living out a fear he, and I, face every time we take the family anywhere: I do not want to bring harm (or death) to others while being the one driving the car. His dread was now a reality.
It seems strange to note that I still feel like a 28 year-old. And Chase and I play more like 2 kids. There is no 40 year difference with us. I'm just taller. It was just that with my birthday and the coming new year, I realized that I am coming upon 25 years since graduating from high school. I have been out of public schools double the amount of time I spent going. No, I do not plan on going to any reunions. Still, a thought hit me right between the eyes. There are those with whom I went to school, some that I saw during all twelve of those years, that will have 2 year-old grandchildren. Perhaps some of the grandkids could be older than Chase. I am in no way saying that I regret my choice. In all honesty, I am certainly pleased and feel blessed with having Chase now. I rather think that if we had children soon after getting married, it would have put too much stress on us. It potentially could have ended our marriage. That would have been years of therapy - "I was the reason my parents divorced."
I know that this has been a bit of rambling. Like I said, most of this is a release of thoughts and feelings that I keep inside. I know that it isn't healthy. I started writing some of this in a journal. But the idea that someone may read this gives it more weight. And takes more of the weight off of me.
So here I am facing a dichotomy: A happy, healthy life with a loving family, all the while feeling like it could all end so swiftly and mercilessly. All I can do is thank God for one more day of living.
February 29, 2008
R2-D2 is THE Most Powerful Entity in the Star Wars Universe
Okay, so most of you know that Star Wars is my all-time favorite movie. I first saw it for my birthday in December of 1977. We stood in line (yes, there were still lines to see it) at the old NorthPark Cinema in Dallas. Cold coupled with the anticipation made the wait unbearable for me, and I am sure impossible for my parents. But once it started, nothing else mattered. And when it ended, nothing could stop me from thinking, living, talking, breathing Star Wars. I read the books, bought the toys (with help from Mom and Dad), and acted out every scene. And when it finally came out on video, watched it again and again until I had every line memorized
Fast forward 31 years and I am still entranced by it and the other five. I cannot wait to share these with my son. To have a lightsabre duel or three with him. And, to see it again for the very first time.
Now, I finished watching Revenge of the Sith today, and I realized something that turned the whole of the series on its ear. Maybe you already realized this, and I am slow on the uptake. Anyway, I had that moment of epiphany right after Senator Organa hands over the droids to Captain Antilles. He orders C-3PO's memory wiped. It is an amusing moment. And even R2 gets in a chuckle. But, it hit me. Why not wipe R2-D2's memory, also? He has been more a part of the happenings than C-3PO. He is even one of only a handful of characters in all six parts. Why would you keep his memory intact?
His Story and History
Because R2-D2 is in fact what the story is about. Not Anakin. Not Luke. Not Obi-wan, Leia, Yoda or the Emperor. They are but pawns and supporting members for R2-D2. We first see R2 as one of a chorus of astromech droids on the royal starship fleeing the Naboo trade blockade. While his counterparts are picked off one by one, R2 is able to repair the shields and the ship is able to escape. This is the first of several times he is shown as savior when the humanoid characters are in a jam. He is presented to Amidala and everyone is quite taken by this little droid. Later in the movie, when the group return to Naboo, R2 gets into one of the fighters. Then, he is joined by the young Anakin. When Anakin powers up the fighter, he says that it is locked into autopilot and they go flying off into the dogfight with the trade federation droid ships. It is only after reaching the battle that R2 is able to disengage the autopilot. And Anakin is forced to fly and fight for his life. It is important to note that R2 accompanies Qui-Gonn to Mos Espa as we carries the technical details for the parts they need. He is in the background for most of the important moments throughout this episode and the episodes to follow.
In Episode 2, it is some 10 years later and R2 is still in the service of now-senator Amidala. While acting as her protector, he misses the introduction of two deadly worm-like creatures and Anakin must save her. Later we find R2 saving Padme from molten metal by stopping the droid production line on Geonosis. He also rebuilds C-3PO who has become parts of two battle droids.
Episode 3 begins with R2 helping with the rescue of Chancellor Palpatine. He shows more resourcefulness in that he defeats 2 of the larger, more powerful battle droids handily. And creates a diversion for the Jedis after they are caught by General Grievous. After this though, he is more of a spectator to the happenings. He and C-3PO are handed over to Captain Antilles for use on the blockade runner.
We jump some 18 to 20 years with Episode 4, where we find that he is accompanying Leia on her way to bring back Obi-Wan to Alderaan. The plan goes awry, but R2 along with C-3PO make it to Tatooine. He meets up with Luke and soon begins his search for Kenobi. While on the Death Star, he finds Leia is aboard, saves the gang from the trash compactor, and manages to get the Death Star plans to the main rebel base in time for them to utilize the information. He goes with Luke to help destroy the Death Star.
In Episode 5, he plays spectator to Luke's training. But once getting to Cloud City, he helps Chewbacca, Leia and Lando get to the Millennium Falcon, rebuild C-3PO, and restart the hyperdive engines.
With Episode 6, R2 and 3PO are given as gifts to Jabba the Hutt. At the right moment, R2 shoots Luke his lightsabre and helps Leia escape. He then goes with the strike force to Endor to disengage the shield generator. Thereby rendering the second Death Star, as well as the Emperor, defeated.
The Conjecture
Droids are machines. Made by humanoids. Created to do tasks that the humanoids cannot or will not do. Droids are property. Droids are soulless. Droids may be able to think for themselves, but they are inferior to the humanoids. Droids are seen as slaves. To that end, droids are programmed to enjoy their slavery. They will obey the rules set for them.
But R2D2 has tapped into a source of programming that has allowed him to understand and manipulate the world, and universe, around him. He is unassuming, non-threatening, and melts into the background until he needs to make his move.
It is very interesting to note that Naboo was the homeworld for Palpatine. I do not think that R2-D2 is on Naboo by coincidence. I think he is there to track Palpatine. Somewhere along the way, R2 has come across the Sith master. Whether it was during Palpatine's apprenticeship with Darth Plagueis, or simply while at a coffee shop on Coruscant, R2 sensed his evilness. Maybe even sensed the grave threat that Palpatine truly was.
What? Sensed his evilness? Like "through the force" sensed? Yes. The true nature of R2-D2 is that he is tapped into force. But not in the same way that the Jedi or Sith tap into the force. R2-D2 has reached a level of artificial intelligence that goes beyond consciousness. He found the energy field that is created by all living things. Yes, I realize that R2-D2 is not a living thing. But he does use energy. Our definition of the force is given to us by a living being, Obi-Wan. Who then dies! And then continues to "live" in the force!
R2-D2 utilizes the energy of the force to manipulate the events that ultimately bring balance to the force.
The Confirmation
Palpatine had for years worked behind the scenes with the Trade Federation to create the blockade on Naboo. His lust for power, a Sith attribute, coupled with his disgust for the ineffectual rule of the Chancellor was the driving force for his ambition. R2-D2's awareness of this was hampered in that he was bound to his programming. He cannot kill a humanoid. He could not move directly against Palpatine. Moving his way into the Queen's starship, he not only fixed the shields, but he created the leak in the hyperdrive! He did this to delay the Queen's arrival and to let others try to work out the dispute. He also knew that there was a strong presence in the force on Tatooine. If the Jedi found the presence first, it would be a blow to the Sith. In a sort of in your face move, R2 manipulates the situation again when they are back on Naboo. He gets in the fighter BEFORE Anakin does. He knew Anakin would be easily drawn to it. Further, R2 programmed the autopilot and forced Anakin into the battle. He was sure that the sight of this strong presence in the hands of the Jedi would be a blow to the newly elected Chancellor Palpatine. But, when Palpatine seemed unworried, R2 knew he would have to keep watching him.
By Episode 2, R2 was more aware of how the future would play out. He sensed Ani's love for Padme, and knew it would lead to Ani's undoing. He allowed the attack on Padme. He had hoped her death would let Ani focus on his future as a Jedi. He could not kill her directly. He could not go against his programming. It did not go as planned, as Ani saved her. And on Geonosis, R2 unwittingly saves her. He was only trying to shut down the battle droid production line. He rebuilds C-3PO because he sees the him as a front man and ally. Another entity he can manipulate. He also begins to realize he will not be able to change future events as we had planned. He makes sure he can stick close to Anakin if he is to have any chance.
In Episode 3, R2 reluctantly aids Anakin and Obi-Wan in saving the kidnapped Palpatine. R2's goal also is to eliminate the threat of General Grievous. R2 knows with his destruction, the droid armies would fall immediately. This would end the war and end how close Ani would have to work with the Chancellor. In the end, hampered in being a droid (second class citizen with no rights and no voice), R2 can only watch as the Republic is ripped asunder and the Galactic Empire takes its place. Yet he does manipulate things in his favor. He gets Senator Organa to attach them to a ship that routinely moves back and forth to Coruscant. And he makes sure that his memory is not wiped.
Well, he cannot communicate with humanoids anyway, so why does that matter? Ah, but he can communicate and it does matter! In the Ep. 1, he and Ani have conversations on the fighter. And in Ep. 4 and 5, he does the same with Luke! And, it again shows that R2-D2 can manipulate minds. And not just the weak-minded. But also the Jedi and Sith. Palpatine was powerful enough to hide his abilities even in the presence of Jedis. R2 is even more powerful in this ability.
The limitations
If it weren't for his programming and the general dismissal of droids by humanoids, R2 would have been unstoppable. Really, I think of his programming to be more along the lines of the ethical code the Jedi follow. He is much more disciplined in following the guidance of the force than either of the Sith or Jedi.
The societal and political issues are the real limitation. The bartender in Ep. 4 - "We don't serve their kind!" - exemplifies how droids are viewed. R2 and 3PO must wait outside, while all sorts of creatures of Mos Eisley (a retched hive of scum and villany) are free to come and go as they please. And when you look at the groups that Count Dooku brings together to attack the Republic in Ep. 2 - the Trade Federation, the InterGalactic Banking Clan, the TechnoUnion, and the Commerce Guild - you find a group who see droids as dispensable pawns to enforce their ways. Droids are merely servants.
Overcoming the Limitations
If R2 had wanted to, he most likely could have attached himself to someone with political connections and proceeded to make changes that way. He must have sensed that Palpatine was too powerful to be removed through the political process. So he stayed with those who could stand against the Empire. He spent his time on gathering intelligence until the fateful day of coming across the plans for the Death Star. R2 must have also sensed that the growing unrest would need leadership. He went after the one he knew who others would rally around. A Jedi.
With everyone thinking they were extinct, a Jedi reappearing would be a catalyst for other systems to join the growing rebellion. And with the destruction of something so large and threatening like the Death Star, the Emperor would be seen as vulnerable. Defeatable.
And while it did not happen how R2 envisioned it, the effect was still felt. With Ep. 5 and 6, we see how the rebel forces grow and ultimately defeat the Emperor.
In the end, R2-D2 orchestrated a brilliant behind-the-scenes plan. He brought balance to the force. He brought down the Galactic Empire. He is the only character in the end who has lived and witnessed every event from the beginning. Indeed, R2-D2 is THE most powerful entity in the Star Wars Universe.
Fast forward 31 years and I am still entranced by it and the other five. I cannot wait to share these with my son. To have a lightsabre duel or three with him. And, to see it again for the very first time.
Now, I finished watching Revenge of the Sith today, and I realized something that turned the whole of the series on its ear. Maybe you already realized this, and I am slow on the uptake. Anyway, I had that moment of epiphany right after Senator Organa hands over the droids to Captain Antilles. He orders C-3PO's memory wiped. It is an amusing moment. And even R2 gets in a chuckle. But, it hit me. Why not wipe R2-D2's memory, also? He has been more a part of the happenings than C-3PO. He is even one of only a handful of characters in all six parts. Why would you keep his memory intact?
His Story and History
Because R2-D2 is in fact what the story is about. Not Anakin. Not Luke. Not Obi-wan, Leia, Yoda or the Emperor. They are but pawns and supporting members for R2-D2. We first see R2 as one of a chorus of astromech droids on the royal starship fleeing the Naboo trade blockade. While his counterparts are picked off one by one, R2 is able to repair the shields and the ship is able to escape. This is the first of several times he is shown as savior when the humanoid characters are in a jam. He is presented to Amidala and everyone is quite taken by this little droid. Later in the movie, when the group return to Naboo, R2 gets into one of the fighters. Then, he is joined by the young Anakin. When Anakin powers up the fighter, he says that it is locked into autopilot and they go flying off into the dogfight with the trade federation droid ships. It is only after reaching the battle that R2 is able to disengage the autopilot. And Anakin is forced to fly and fight for his life. It is important to note that R2 accompanies Qui-Gonn to Mos Espa as we carries the technical details for the parts they need. He is in the background for most of the important moments throughout this episode and the episodes to follow.
In Episode 2, it is some 10 years later and R2 is still in the service of now-senator Amidala. While acting as her protector, he misses the introduction of two deadly worm-like creatures and Anakin must save her. Later we find R2 saving Padme from molten metal by stopping the droid production line on Geonosis. He also rebuilds C-3PO who has become parts of two battle droids.
Episode 3 begins with R2 helping with the rescue of Chancellor Palpatine. He shows more resourcefulness in that he defeats 2 of the larger, more powerful battle droids handily. And creates a diversion for the Jedis after they are caught by General Grievous. After this though, he is more of a spectator to the happenings. He and C-3PO are handed over to Captain Antilles for use on the blockade runner.
We jump some 18 to 20 years with Episode 4, where we find that he is accompanying Leia on her way to bring back Obi-Wan to Alderaan. The plan goes awry, but R2 along with C-3PO make it to Tatooine. He meets up with Luke and soon begins his search for Kenobi. While on the Death Star, he finds Leia is aboard, saves the gang from the trash compactor, and manages to get the Death Star plans to the main rebel base in time for them to utilize the information. He goes with Luke to help destroy the Death Star.
In Episode 5, he plays spectator to Luke's training. But once getting to Cloud City, he helps Chewbacca, Leia and Lando get to the Millennium Falcon, rebuild C-3PO, and restart the hyperdive engines.
With Episode 6, R2 and 3PO are given as gifts to Jabba the Hutt. At the right moment, R2 shoots Luke his lightsabre and helps Leia escape. He then goes with the strike force to Endor to disengage the shield generator. Thereby rendering the second Death Star, as well as the Emperor, defeated.
The Conjecture
Droids are machines. Made by humanoids. Created to do tasks that the humanoids cannot or will not do. Droids are property. Droids are soulless. Droids may be able to think for themselves, but they are inferior to the humanoids. Droids are seen as slaves. To that end, droids are programmed to enjoy their slavery. They will obey the rules set for them.
But R2D2 has tapped into a source of programming that has allowed him to understand and manipulate the world, and universe, around him. He is unassuming, non-threatening, and melts into the background until he needs to make his move.
It is very interesting to note that Naboo was the homeworld for Palpatine. I do not think that R2-D2 is on Naboo by coincidence. I think he is there to track Palpatine. Somewhere along the way, R2 has come across the Sith master. Whether it was during Palpatine's apprenticeship with Darth Plagueis, or simply while at a coffee shop on Coruscant, R2 sensed his evilness. Maybe even sensed the grave threat that Palpatine truly was.
What? Sensed his evilness? Like "through the force" sensed? Yes. The true nature of R2-D2 is that he is tapped into force. But not in the same way that the Jedi or Sith tap into the force. R2-D2 has reached a level of artificial intelligence that goes beyond consciousness. He found the energy field that is created by all living things. Yes, I realize that R2-D2 is not a living thing. But he does use energy. Our definition of the force is given to us by a living being, Obi-Wan. Who then dies! And then continues to "live" in the force!
R2-D2 utilizes the energy of the force to manipulate the events that ultimately bring balance to the force.
The Confirmation
Palpatine had for years worked behind the scenes with the Trade Federation to create the blockade on Naboo. His lust for power, a Sith attribute, coupled with his disgust for the ineffectual rule of the Chancellor was the driving force for his ambition. R2-D2's awareness of this was hampered in that he was bound to his programming. He cannot kill a humanoid. He could not move directly against Palpatine. Moving his way into the Queen's starship, he not only fixed the shields, but he created the leak in the hyperdrive! He did this to delay the Queen's arrival and to let others try to work out the dispute. He also knew that there was a strong presence in the force on Tatooine. If the Jedi found the presence first, it would be a blow to the Sith. In a sort of in your face move, R2 manipulates the situation again when they are back on Naboo. He gets in the fighter BEFORE Anakin does. He knew Anakin would be easily drawn to it. Further, R2 programmed the autopilot and forced Anakin into the battle. He was sure that the sight of this strong presence in the hands of the Jedi would be a blow to the newly elected Chancellor Palpatine. But, when Palpatine seemed unworried, R2 knew he would have to keep watching him.
By Episode 2, R2 was more aware of how the future would play out. He sensed Ani's love for Padme, and knew it would lead to Ani's undoing. He allowed the attack on Padme. He had hoped her death would let Ani focus on his future as a Jedi. He could not kill her directly. He could not go against his programming. It did not go as planned, as Ani saved her. And on Geonosis, R2 unwittingly saves her. He was only trying to shut down the battle droid production line. He rebuilds C-3PO because he sees the him as a front man and ally. Another entity he can manipulate. He also begins to realize he will not be able to change future events as we had planned. He makes sure he can stick close to Anakin if he is to have any chance.
In Episode 3, R2 reluctantly aids Anakin and Obi-Wan in saving the kidnapped Palpatine. R2's goal also is to eliminate the threat of General Grievous. R2 knows with his destruction, the droid armies would fall immediately. This would end the war and end how close Ani would have to work with the Chancellor. In the end, hampered in being a droid (second class citizen with no rights and no voice), R2 can only watch as the Republic is ripped asunder and the Galactic Empire takes its place. Yet he does manipulate things in his favor. He gets Senator Organa to attach them to a ship that routinely moves back and forth to Coruscant. And he makes sure that his memory is not wiped.
Well, he cannot communicate with humanoids anyway, so why does that matter? Ah, but he can communicate and it does matter! In the Ep. 1, he and Ani have conversations on the fighter. And in Ep. 4 and 5, he does the same with Luke! And, it again shows that R2-D2 can manipulate minds. And not just the weak-minded. But also the Jedi and Sith. Palpatine was powerful enough to hide his abilities even in the presence of Jedis. R2 is even more powerful in this ability.
The limitations
If it weren't for his programming and the general dismissal of droids by humanoids, R2 would have been unstoppable. Really, I think of his programming to be more along the lines of the ethical code the Jedi follow. He is much more disciplined in following the guidance of the force than either of the Sith or Jedi.
The societal and political issues are the real limitation. The bartender in Ep. 4 - "We don't serve their kind!" - exemplifies how droids are viewed. R2 and 3PO must wait outside, while all sorts of creatures of Mos Eisley (a retched hive of scum and villany) are free to come and go as they please. And when you look at the groups that Count Dooku brings together to attack the Republic in Ep. 2 - the Trade Federation, the InterGalactic Banking Clan, the TechnoUnion, and the Commerce Guild - you find a group who see droids as dispensable pawns to enforce their ways. Droids are merely servants.
Overcoming the Limitations
If R2 had wanted to, he most likely could have attached himself to someone with political connections and proceeded to make changes that way. He must have sensed that Palpatine was too powerful to be removed through the political process. So he stayed with those who could stand against the Empire. He spent his time on gathering intelligence until the fateful day of coming across the plans for the Death Star. R2 must have also sensed that the growing unrest would need leadership. He went after the one he knew who others would rally around. A Jedi.
With everyone thinking they were extinct, a Jedi reappearing would be a catalyst for other systems to join the growing rebellion. And with the destruction of something so large and threatening like the Death Star, the Emperor would be seen as vulnerable. Defeatable.
And while it did not happen how R2 envisioned it, the effect was still felt. With Ep. 5 and 6, we see how the rebel forces grow and ultimately defeat the Emperor.
In the end, R2-D2 orchestrated a brilliant behind-the-scenes plan. He brought balance to the force. He brought down the Galactic Empire. He is the only character in the end who has lived and witnessed every event from the beginning. Indeed, R2-D2 is THE most powerful entity in the Star Wars Universe.
December 07, 2007
And A Good Time Was Had By One
I won't lie. Nothing beats WDW. NOTHING! There must be some additive in the water that makes people spend their money here like there's no tomorrow. And I've had so much my eyes are floating. But I have a plan. Chase's baby teeth look straight, so I am quite sure he won't need braces. And it's stylish for your jeans to have holes. Why not your dockers and polos? Yeah. Annual passes going up again? No problem. I only need one kidney.
Seriously, if you've been to WDW during the summer or any other time when it's packed, in December it is like a ghost town. The longest wait time was Soarin at 25 minutes. Last summer, if you didn't get a fast pass by 10a.m. (one hour after the park opened) you would have to wait at least 2 hours in line!
I was king of all I surveyed. It truly was magical!
Seriously, if you've been to WDW during the summer or any other time when it's packed, in December it is like a ghost town. The longest wait time was Soarin at 25 minutes. Last summer, if you didn't get a fast pass by 10a.m. (one hour after the park opened) you would have to wait at least 2 hours in line!
I was king of all I surveyed. It truly was magical!
December 06, 2007
It's My Birthday!
And how do I intend on celebrating this wondrous occasion? I'M GOING TO DISNEYWORLD!
Laugh all you want; it has been my desire to spend my birthday here for quite some time. And since my annual pass will expire on Christmas day, this will be the year. (I haven't decided if I'm ready to shell out the money for another year. And both SeaWorld and Universal give you the option of a monthly payout, so I may stick with either or both of those for now.)
The shameless part is that I will head there all by myself. Kat is working and has rehearsals after school. I have a meeting at work around Noon, so Chase will already be in "school". (And in truth, I don't think Kat minds. She isn't as enthusiastic about WDW as I am.)
So, yeah. I can't sleep. I'm too excited! I'm going to Disney World! For the 30th time (roughly) this year!
Laugh all you want; it has been my desire to spend my birthday here for quite some time. And since my annual pass will expire on Christmas day, this will be the year. (I haven't decided if I'm ready to shell out the money for another year. And both SeaWorld and Universal give you the option of a monthly payout, so I may stick with either or both of those for now.)The shameless part is that I will head there all by myself. Kat is working and has rehearsals after school. I have a meeting at work around Noon, so Chase will already be in "school". (And in truth, I don't think Kat minds. She isn't as enthusiastic about WDW as I am.)
So, yeah. I can't sleep. I'm too excited! I'm going to Disney World! For the 30th time (roughly) this year!
August 01, 2007
Expect the Unexpected
There is a logic paradox called the Unexpected Hanging. If you are not aware of story it goes something like this:
A man commits a heinous crime and is being sentenced by the judge. The judge, known to be a man who kept his word, told the prisoner, "Because your crime is so heinous, this is worst thing I can do you. You will be hanged at dawn one day next week. To make your last days on this Earth troubled, you will not know what day it will be."
The prisoner is shaken and white as a sheet. He sees his lawyer has a smile on his face. The prisoner asks, "How can you possibly find this amusing?" The lawyer says, "Don't you see? The sentence cannot be carried out."
Puzzled, the prisoner says, "What do you mean?" The lawyer says, "Look at it this way. The judge said you will not know which day you will be hanged. But you cannot possibly be hanged on Saturday. On Friday, you would know without a doubt that you will be hanged on Saturday. The judge said you would not know the day. So you cannot possibly be hanged, as this would go against the judge's orders."
The prisoner rubs his chin and says, "I see." The lawyer then says, "You cannot be hanged on Friday, either. On Thursday, you would know that you could not be hanged on Saturday. That only leaves Friday as the day to hang you. But again, you would know this. And that violates the judge's sentence."
The prisoner says, "You are right. Thursday is also out, because I know I cannot be hanged on Friday or Saturday. It's the same for Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday and Sunday!" The lawyer says, "Exactly! You cannot be hanged without violating the judge's sentence!"
The prisoner is shaken and white as a sheet. He sees his lawyer has a smile on his face. The prisoner asks, "How can you possibly find this amusing?" The lawyer says, "Don't you see? The sentence cannot be carried out."
Puzzled, the prisoner says, "What do you mean?" The lawyer says, "Look at it this way. The judge said you will not know which day you will be hanged. But you cannot possibly be hanged on Saturday. On Friday, you would know without a doubt that you will be hanged on Saturday. The judge said you would not know the day. So you cannot possibly be hanged, as this would go against the judge's orders."
The prisoner rubs his chin and says, "I see." The lawyer then says, "You cannot be hanged on Friday, either. On Thursday, you would know that you could not be hanged on Saturday. That only leaves Friday as the day to hang you. But again, you would know this. And that violates the judge's sentence."
The prisoner says, "You are right. Thursday is also out, because I know I cannot be hanged on Friday or Saturday. It's the same for Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday and Sunday!" The lawyer says, "Exactly! You cannot be hanged without violating the judge's sentence!"
August 1st, 2005, was an eventful day. It started out as normal. I got up and went in to work as usual. We were resetting the sales floor that day because had new furniture. Most of it back-to-school related. There was also a new dining table; very ornate and very heavy. We put the legs on and went to flip it over. That is when I felt something searing hot in my back.
It felt like someone was trying to brand me, just from the inside out. Then, as if on some hellish cue, pain shot up and then down my spine. Dazed, I sat down in the chair that was waiting to match up with the table. That's when I thought, "Okay. Don't move.", followed by, "Idiot, if you didn't move, how did you end up in the chair?"
This twisted banter lasted a few moments as I began moving extremities. Toes first. Check. Feet. Check. Legs. Ouch!
As I moved my right leg, I could feel a tearing sensation in my lower right back. I told another manager that something was wrong. After my story, she echoed the thought in my head. "Idiot."
As I moved my right leg, I could feel a tearing sensation in my lower right back. I told another manager that something was wrong. After my story, she echoed the thought in my head. "Idiot."
Since I knew nothing was broken. I asked her to help me into the office. There, I laid down on the floor. The hard, cold floor. I had hoped that this would let my spine and muscles relax while keeping everything straight. After 15 minutes, several people checking on me (so they could call me idiot, too), and no change, the realization hit me hard. In 20 years of working, I was a worker's comp claim.
I called my wife and had her come and take me to the clinic. Still in excruciating pain, I suffered through waiting for the doctor. I knew what he would say. "You strained a muscle. Idiot." In truth, I would not have even gone, except I knew this would get me out of work for at least a couple of days as well as something that would MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!
We go to the first Walgreen's we can find, and Kat goes in while I try to figure out how I would exist in the uncomfortable car seat waiting for the prescription to be filled. I also realized it was after 1 pm and was hungry. When she got back, we headed for my favorite Chinese restaurant. It happened to be in the same area.
We sat down in a booth, ordered, and I took some medicine. Kat went to the restroom and I tried willing the medicine to burst out of my stomach and directly to back. I had just settled into the least painful position I could find, when Kat came back. She wanted to sit beside me. I wanted her to go to the other side. She got her way, and sat close and held me. I could only think that she must really like seeing me in pain, and wanted a close-up view. I looked at her and she met my eyes. Then she said, "I'm pregnant."
On Tuesday morning at dawn, the prisoner was awakened from a restful slumber, led to the gallows and hanged. And the prisoner never expected it.
Yes, I know that this is a strange parallel. But bear with me. You see, we had tried having a child earlier. There were issues, including an ectopic pregnancy as well as the loss of one ovary. The embryo had formed outside the womb, even outside of the fallopian tube. The doctor had to go inside and remove the embryo. While there, she noted one of the ovaries was not normal. I had to make the decision while Kat was under whether or not to remove the ovary. Toughest. Decision. I. Ever. Made.
Babies went on the back burner after that. Kat decided to finish college and try graduate school. This led us to New Orleans, then Orlando. That's where the subject of babies came up again.
So here we go, with worse-case scenarios running through my head. Does this one ovary produce eggs? Does it fire one each month, or is it every other month? If it's been every month, has it depleted its supply? Will this little baby call me an idiot?
Even then, knowing that we were just beginning this adventure, I did not expect results so quickly!
It seems that Kat had a feeling that very morning. She was certain, but when she went in to Walgreen's she bought a pregnancy test. Then, while at the restaurant, she took the test in the restroom. She knew she could not wait to tell me, so she came directly to me right then.
But she got an unexpected reaction. I was so focused on my pain and hunger, I was sitting there in stunned silence. Then I said, "You couldn't wait until I was in a better state of mind?"
Looks like everyone was right. I was an idiot that day. And I never expected any of it.
July 21, 2007
Interconnectivity
Today's post on my other site is the seed for this post. Please read it first. Some of my ramblings may not make sense.
I am constantly amazed at how interconnected this world has become. My parents get to watch their grandson play at "school", because they have cameras in each room hooked up to the internet. In less than a four-hour plane trip, we can be in Dallas. I can rant and rave and have a word wars with my oldest and best friend as well as a new friend I have not met in person. And because of City Photo Blogs, I get to share my home with others as well as see the places they call home.
With all that said, I don't feel as connected to Orlando as everywhere else. I am sure I have said this before, but when we lived in New Orleans I did not allow myself to get close to anyone or get involved in any groups or such. I knew it was a temporary stop and was not going to invest the time or energy into futile endeavors. But now, those are habits for me that I cannot seem to break. And with a 16 month old, it has been even more difficult to search out good friends or groups.
I am not trying to complain. I was hoping that writing this down in such a public-type forum, may help spur me to break the habits. First step is admitting you have a problem. The second step?
I am constantly amazed at how interconnected this world has become. My parents get to watch their grandson play at "school", because they have cameras in each room hooked up to the internet. In less than a four-hour plane trip, we can be in Dallas. I can rant and rave and have a word wars with my oldest and best friend as well as a new friend I have not met in person. And because of City Photo Blogs, I get to share my home with others as well as see the places they call home.
With all that said, I don't feel as connected to Orlando as everywhere else. I am sure I have said this before, but when we lived in New Orleans I did not allow myself to get close to anyone or get involved in any groups or such. I knew it was a temporary stop and was not going to invest the time or energy into futile endeavors. But now, those are habits for me that I cannot seem to break. And with a 16 month old, it has been even more difficult to search out good friends or groups.
I am not trying to complain. I was hoping that writing this down in such a public-type forum, may help spur me to break the habits. First step is admitting you have a problem. The second step?
June 29, 2007
Shuttle Musings
This is from the June 8th Atlantis launch. The remarkable thing about this rather unremarkable shot is the fact that we are on the 528 at the time. The 528 is the toll road that runs straight towards the Kennedy Space Center and Cocoa Beach. We are sitting in bumper to bumper traffic as so many have come out to watch the launch. Yes, we got in the car at the spur of the moment and headed that way to see if we could get a closer view. This is as close as we could get. That remarkable part I was talking about? We are still in Orlando, directly north of Orlando International Airport. Some 40 to 45 miles away!The shuttle and all things NASA are major news stories here in Central Florida, of course. Almost anytime there is a launch, shuttle or simply another satellite, there is plenty of media coverage. It is definitely gets as much attention as the theme parks get. Now, shuttle launches seem to be news everywhere. There was a time when that was not true.
Back in college, shuttle launches were so routine that no one stopped to watch. But then one day in 1986, that all changed. I had just sat down in Calculus, or as I called it Math as a Second Language, beside John (yeah, "Dubber") when another guy comes in and says did you hear the shuttle blew up? The image on our calculus book coincidentally was that of the shuttle on the launch pad at night. No one really took him seriously. Not until others came in with the same story. After class it was a bee line to any television to find out what had happened.
(Side note: 1986 - Cable still a toddler so the majority of people were watching network news. No internet, so zero information from that source. No cell phones. Some "car phones", those monsters that were just this side of portable, but those were mostly used by law enforcement. Our kids will think we lived in the dark ages...)
My point is that by then there had been some two dozen shuttle launches, and, with all the hundreds of other rocket launches since the sixties, it was no longer "news-worthy". We had conquered space.
(Side note 2: Moonraker came out in 1979, two years before we actually launched the first shuttle. This was 007 meets Star Wars. Worst. Bond. Movie. Ever. But it shows just how much hoopla went into the shuttle program. It is amazing how some 6 years later, we wouldn't care anymore.)
So here we are; 26 years and 2 disasters later. The shuttle is news-worthy, but not in a good way. The shuttles are being shunted. They are old and out-dated. NASA is talking about life after shuttles. So why is everyone watching?
To put it simply, too many cable news networks need to fill airtime and the very inkling of another disaster makes them drool like Pavlov's dog near a fire alarm's bell. Several minutes were spent showing the super slo-mo of the launch and how foam may have hit the shuttle. Several more minutes spent on the "blanket" and how it would affect re-entry. Showing (with scale models) what the crew would have to do to fix it. Then several minutes detailing how far away a storm could be to where the shuttle would land. (34 miles in most cases, 32 miles in others. Seems to me to be cautionary, just go with 35...)
Anyway for better or worse, the shuttles primarily and NASA peripherally, are news. At least it's better than another blurb about Paris Hilton...
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