You Still Blog?

Here I sit, reading the words written over the past few years, and wondering what happened. It has been almost one year since I wrote anything here. And almost 15 months since I wrote anything worth writing. I poured out my thoughts, some more deep than others, and felt that even if they were not read, at least I freed them from my brain.

So what happened? Why did I end so abruptly? I don't have a good answer for that. Sure social networking sites have taken their toll. And dealing with a four year-old is a worthwhile use of my time. Still, this was the place for me to write. A place for me to ramble, rant, and recount memories. It was my space on the internet where I could be exposed to millions, yet no one to see.

A big part of it is how much the fad of blogging as subsided. Does anyone even admit to it anymore? Too fearful to hear, "You still blog? That was so 20then..." A recent tour of blogs that I read almost daily has proven to be a glimpse into the past. Only four blogs had entries from this year, and only one post total for this year. The average time between the last two posts was eight months. Truly the bubble has burst.

The real question is, what do I plan to do? Give up? Maybe even pull the entire blog like so many have done? No. Not giving up. I have too much invested. And I need to have the dialog; even if it is with myself. This is a marathon. And this is the first step. I can only see the next few. Where this takes me is part of the adventure.

And one other thing: Comments are moderated. Spam comments are not tolerated.

Random Gibberish, April 2009

It makes me very frustrated, going about a month between posts. It makes me feel like I am letting myself down. I really thought I could post 6 times a month. Well, technically I can. The real truth is that I censor about  95% of what I write. Mainly because I don't feel I have something substantial to add to the web. And it isn't like any/many do stop in.

Still, there are those things that I write down that, at the time, seem to be something. I wrestle with making them a worthwhile read. Most just bounce around and get deleted. Here, if for no other reason than to rid a few of them from my skull, are topics, rants, thoughts (gibberish, drivel) that have been squatting like a band of homeless gypsies and need to be evicted from my brain:

• Ducks have such attitude. But they get away with it. Next time you see some ducks on a lake, just stay there and watch. Sooner or later, they will dip headfirst into the water, getting a bite to eat. Not hardly. They are mooning you. And you thought they were all cute.  Another reason to hunt them.
• I miss Feedburner. Google analytics is so clunky. And you really have to dig for the information Feedburner would gift wrap and present in such a clean, simple way.
• Speaking of analytics, 4 people a day visit this site. Poor unfortunate souls. They obviously didn't know what they were searching for. And it's NEVER anyone I know. (Okay, almost never. 99.99997% of the time NEVER.)
• If I opened up a puppy mill (or even a legal dog breeding facility), I would call it the Bar K Corral.  (Not really; I find one dog to be a chore.  I cannot imagine what more than one would smell like...) 
• If I could be one age the rest of my life (sort of like vampiric/never-aging, but not necessarily an undead/eternal state *huh?*), I would like to be 28. It just seems more respectable. More responsible than an 18 or 21 year old. And yet still has a youthfulness about it.

Well, now. Out of my head. And into yours. All 4 of you. In truth, most of you stay around about 38 seconds, so most of you didn't even finish reading this. And I wonder why I don't post more often...

Edit: I do want you all to know, I really am not hung up on how many and who visit here.  It is all tongue-in-cheek.  And done for a laugh only.  I do this blog for my amusement; not so much for acclaim.  Orlando Daily Photo (the link is at the top) gets well over 2000 visitors a month, and I post quite regularly there.  Over 500 photos.  And that's with taking over two months off.

Emeril Green

If you have the Planet Green channel, check out Emeril Green. For a non-cook like me, I have learned quite a bit. (But that is the only show I've completely watched on Planet Green. The rest of their shows have not grabbed me.)

See? Short, to the point, and posted.

Top 6 - A Celebration of Cars

So, I was watching Cars again, for about the 400th time.  With Chase, at least for most of it.  He's obsessed with construction vehicles, so this holds his fascination for a bit.  And Daddy gets a breather right before nap time. For both of us...
Anyway, I was thinking about the price of gas, and wondering if this movie was scheduled to come out, say around Christmas, if it would garner as big an audience as it did back in 2006.  Would we as a society be put off by a movie about cars and racing?  Then one of the songs started.  And I realized that we celebrate our cars, no matter what.  Both in film and in music.
So, with $4.00 a gallon for gas, here is my Top 6 list for celebrating all things automotive:
1.  Life is a Highway - Tom Cochran, 1991 (And the song that inspired the list)
2.  I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar, 1984  (A must on any car song list, even if they have raised the speed limit.)
3.  Little Duece Coupe - Beach Boys, 1963 (They invented the car song genre.)
4.  Drive - The Cars, 1984 (Yeah, I know. Way too obvous a choice)
5.  Hot Rod Lincoln - Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen, 1972  ("Son, you're gonna' drive me to drinkin' If you don't stop drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln")
6.  Little Red Corvette - Prince, 1983 (Chevy used the song as part of an ad campaign where the slogan was "They don't write songs about Volvos".  I had to include it in my list just for that!)
Right now, I want to get into a Mustang, crank up the stereo, and drive until I'm out of gas!

So, let me know.  Agree? Disagree? Your choices?

Recession and Commerce

So, again, I find that the daily barrage of news that we are in a recession seem to run counter to what people are doing. This time around it is on the national level. Picture three talking head pundits arguing about what people should do with their money. The consensus leaned on sitting on your money. Don't take risks. One even went so far to argue that, in the short term at least, many should not spend needlessly on big ticket items. It was really a bit of doom and gloom.
Then the commercial break comes. First is the etrade baby (he cracks me up!) touting how easy it is to invest. Then, next is the guy who puts his social security number everywhere, and tells you how he can protect your identity. This is followed by ads for a flat screen television, a luxury car, and a travel website.
It really made me wonder: Which is more persuasive? Are we more swayed by "experts" or by advertisers?

Random Gibberish

So I have a new layout and cannot think of something to blog about. Figures. Sort of like staring at a blank canvas that's already ornately framed. You don't want to put something in the center of the frame that will certainly degrade or lessen the effect.

O Hell, I'm gonna ruin it sooner or later. I guess I'll go with sooner.

Here are some items that, on their own, are not enough for even a lousy post. They seem utterly appropriate for an occasion such as this.

- If a man says something and a woman is not around to hear it, is he still wrong? Maybe I should set up a poll on this.
- When I had to have my gall bladder removed, the only annoying thing was having to wear that plastic cone. I mean really. Bite at your stitches once and it haunts you all your life. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week.
- Why do people ask me about Chase, only to interrupt me with anecdotes of their child, sort of related to whatever I was talking about? I am the one with the interesting child.
- The sound of one hand clapping is still much sweeter than the sound of one head slapping a glass door.
- Too many people put more time and effort into the wedding than they do the marriage.
- If a bunch of cats jumped on each other would you still call it a dogpile?

So there it is. Random gibberish. And now my new shiny template has been officially tainted.
(At least I didn't fill it with how my day was, or what I ate. I will let other blogs handle those kinds of topics!)

Template Contemplation

I really want a new template. I like Blogger. I like the tie-in to Google, even if others don't. But I really like the templates at Wordpress and Typepad. Well, some of them anyway.
My problem is that I am too lazy to learn all the coding it takes to make a new one. And none of the ones that I find have all the qualities I want. Or they are in Spanish, and I would have to modify it. And again, too lazy.
I found one that I liked. The price was right - free. But no matter how I loaded it and played with the code, I could not get the darn thing to look right. It had a great little button date area. It even had three columns. Maybe I will look harder at it soon.
So I have given up. At least for a while. And even have time for a post or two!

See Chase Laugh!

There is nothing so pure a child's laugh. It is genuine. And upon hearing it, you cannot help yourself but join in. I think our original purpose, what we are created for, is to laugh.

So after bath time, we always brush Chase's teeth. It is that sorta, kinda toothpaste that helps you develop the habit of brushing. It probably would run far, far away if it saw gingivitis. He likes it. Both the sensation and I am sure the flavor. He stands on one of those step/seat things so that he can see the sink and himself in the mirror. When he's done, he gets a Dixie-type paper cup with just enough water. He simply drinks the water.
But tonight, Mommy decided that he should learn to spit the water out. Now, Daddy warns that this is probably not a good thing. But Mommy knowledge is vastly superior, so she showed him how it's done.
*Swig of water. Spit.*
Chase cracks up. He found this so funny, that he begins laughing. Mommy repeats the process.
*Swig of water. Spit.*
Now he's laughing hard! He almost falls off his step thing. He laughs so hard he can barely catch his breath!
Once more: *Swig of water. Spit.*
He can barely contain himself. And we are laughing as hard as he is! After a several minutes of laughter, we put the cup down. It's time to clean up the toys and get ready for bed.

Right before bed time, we read a book. And we drink a glass of milk. But this time, Chase begins to laugh, and laugh hard. And then he takes a sip of milk. And he spits. And more laughter! Mostly from Daddy!
*Daddy does the "told ya so" dance*
I cannot wait until Mommy picks him up from "school" and hear how ALL the kids in the class are now spitting their drinks!

I Love Trivial Things

Probably because I'm a trivial guy. I check the stats on both of my blogs with fierce regularity. I like knowing where people are when they find me, both geographically and from what site that sent them here. The thing that puzzles me the most are how people find me when doing a google, yahoo or blog search.
Two of the most searched ways that I am found at Orlando Daily Photo is by "black cat" or "Cinderella's Castle" - both by images. These make perfect sense. They are straight forward. But I have been found 13 times by people searching "huge spider"! I always wonder what exactly these people are looking for, and if these are 13 hits from the same person.
But the strangest, most unbelievable search that has netted me 17 hits so far is a google search for "t". Yes, the letter "t"! Google says there are about 6,050,000,000 results. It may as well just say, "On just about every freakin' page on every freakin' website in the entire freakin' internet!" And yes, I crawled through 38 pages before I gave up. Searching the letter "t". John, I apologize right now for making fun of your searches. At least you have a method to your madness. And some very funny videos to boot.
Some good news does come out of this. I did find that when you search "orlando florida", I rank around top 40 to 50 sites (out of 16,900,000). When you search "Orlando fl", I am 20 to 30 out of 7,400,000. And when you search "orlando, fl, usa", I rank second only to Walt Disney World. How cool is that?
I know. Not very cool. Very trivial.

My New Tagline

And really the motto for my life:

Sometimes you just have to hit the screw harder. Where is that little trademark symbol when you need it?

I love juxtaposition. I like when two incongruous images crash into each other and become symbolic of something larger.

This, my friends, is the system by which I have lived my life thus far, and will continue to do so as long as I have breath. At least until I win the lottery.

And A Good Time Was Had By One

I won't lie. Nothing beats WDW. NOTHING! There must be some additive in the water that makes people spend their money here like there's no tomorrow. And I've had so much my eyes are floating. But I have a plan. Chase's baby teeth look straight, so I am quite sure he won't need braces. And it's stylish for your jeans to have holes. Why not your dockers and polos? Yeah. Annual passes going up again? No problem. I only need one kidney.

Seriously, if you've been to WDW during the summer or any other time when it's packed, in December it is like a ghost town. The longest wait time was Soarin at 25 minutes. Last summer, if you didn't get a fast pass by 10a.m. (one hour after the park opened) you would have to wait at least 2 hours in line!

I was king of all I surveyed. It truly was magical!

Lessons Learned as a Child - Part Two

A continuation of lessons found here:

1. The two best flavors of ice cream are vanilla and whatever flavor Daddy is eating.
2. The ground hurts your head, no matter how close you are to the ground when you fall.
3. Do not honk the horn when Daddy is working on the car.
4. Cats are mean. Especially when you pull on their tails.
5. Fish really like baths. They never seem to get clean, though.
6. Daddy is ALWAYS grumpy at 4:30 a.m.
7. Mommy must be afraid of the monsters, too. She never checks all of the hiding places like Daddy does.
8. Mommy has a three "why?" limit. I don't know why.
9. Cookies always taste better when Grandma makes them.
10. Grandpa buys me the best toys, like drums and horns. But I can only play them when I go home.
11. No matter how bad I hurt, mommy's kiss makes it all better.
12. I have it too easy. Daddy reminds me of this every day.

Ikea is a Four-Letter Word

So Thursday last, I ventured into Ikea for the very first time. It just opened the day before, so the excitement and buzz about it was still strong. My wife, no stranger to Ikea (she's visited others), was making her second trip in as many days. Many people had told me it was not a store, but an experience. Now I understand. For the three other people in the entire world who haven't been in one, and to get this out of my head, let me share my thoughts.
My wife, bless her heart, wanted so much to prepare me for this. I did not wish to have my visit tainted with any fore-knowledge. I wanted to jump in blindly and immerse myself without a clue. She allowed me this to start. Within 15 seconds upon entering, I turned to my knowing partner (smiling like the Cheshire Cat) and said, "What the hell!?!" She knows I am really a big-picture guy and this was not going to be any fun if she did not give me the lay of the land. And even with her apt description, I was still befuddled. She told me it was like a maze. First you see how the products look in the top floor showrooms, write down what you want, then the bottom floor you pick it up. This was helpful to a point. But here is how I describe it.
You are one of the Israelites freed from the slavery of Egypt. You and the hundreds (thousands, even) of others are on your trek through the wilderness to the promised land. At first, you are not sure you want to go. Then the Red Sea parts (doors open) and you feel like this will be a great journey! You then begin your 40-year trek of meandering through the wilderness. Some complain that they really didn't want to leave their homes (mostly guys). Some complain they are tired and must rest a spell (mostly kids). But almost all complain they are hungry. Never fear; God has provided manna. Halfway through your visit is a restaurant. Still more meandering. Then there is more meandering. Still more complaining, but no more places to rest. Then finally you spy the promised land (checkout). But first, all the items you wrote down must be found. After some recon work (the Israelites sent out spies, too.), all items are aquired and you have finally made it through.
Now if all that stuff will fit on the camel, you are good to go!

Negativity

It seems anymore that the news has really moved towards emphasizing the bad news. Like today, the angle for one local radio news story was how the record number of tourists to the area had brought with it a spike in the amount of flu cases here this year. It seems that Universal and SeaWorld are announcing their best summers since 9/11. Walt Disney World will not give out figures, but are saying they exceeded their expected turnout. Yet, somehow, this was a bad thing for the area. *long sigh*
I noticed a long time ago that here and in New Orleans that news focused on the sensational. This was in stark contrast to Dallas. Big D police had requested very early on that news outlets not talk about gangs in Dallas. This actually helped in that gangs did not do crimes in order to publicize their existence. Even now, if you check out the Dallas Morning News versus the Orlando Sentinel or the Times-Picayune, you will find more negative stories in Orlando and New Orleans. Is it really that bad? Is it really that great in Dallas?
It permeates into our lives. When I ask people who they would vote for and why, the why is all about what they do not like about the other candidate. We seem to be moving to voting against someone instead of voting for someone.
Is there a way to reverse this? I realize the irony of being negative about negativity, but the first step is admitting there is a problem. I want to start now and focus my energy on what is going right:

No devastating hurricanes this year.
Streetcars are running on St. Charles Avenue once again.
The Cowboys have a solid shot at the Super Bowl.
Ikea opened in Orlando.
The economy is running strong.
Health-wise, my whole family is great.
I donate blood on a regular basis because I can.
Right now, I am content.

In My Corner of the World

Really short post, as this has been a really busy month. I won't get 6 postings this time. Alas.

Chase had his 18-month checkup and shots recently. (ouch) He seems small to me, and the doc said he is below average size. But he assured me that this is a normal thing and a growth spurt would fix this. The fun part was finding out his vocabulary and talking skills were on par with a 24 month level. It is good to know that he can converse with 2 year-olds if he is in their social environment. Also, he is multi-lingual. He could speak with a cat, cow, horse, sheep, dog, duck and a few other animals. It has saved me from those awkward silent moments I used to have with the cows in the field next door.

Other than that, it has been work and sleep. And that will continue for another couple of weeks.

Edit: Yikes! I didn't publish this; just saved it! I guess I should read my blog every so often...

Packing and Pondering

Long month.
We are moving, so pretty much all spare time is taken for packing up all our stuff. And throwing out all the stuff we don't use. George Carlin talked about the difference between stuff and s***. Stuff is what you have; what you own. S*** is what someone else has. Right now, I feel like I have a bunch of s***.

Random ponderings:
Live Free or Die Hard is THE BEST TITLE EVER. I haven't seen the movie yet. Don't really need to. It has Bruce in it and is in the Die Hard series. I will own it soon enough. And wear out my DVD player watching it over and over.
Runner-up title: God May Have Forgiven You, But I Won't. I think this is both a movie (Western, of course) and the title of a song (Country, of course).

It is cheaper now to buy a new printer than to buy the replacement inks. How messed up is that? Soon, someone will come out with disposable printers. Worked with razors and cameras.

I love Mythbusters. But I want them to tackle the similes. You know, are foxes really crazy? Are tacks sharp? In truth, I think the show may have run its course. Some of the things they test anymore don't grab me like they used to.

Okay, enough. Be back soon!

God Has a Wonderful Sense of Humor

By now, you have probably seen the article about how astronomers have found a "hole" in the Universe. If not, go here to read about it. Don't worry, we'll wait.

Okay, so my first question is: How is there a "hole" in a void. I mean even with the dark matter theory to help "fill in" some of the gaps, still this strikes me as hilarious.
But more importantly: Is it in the center of everything? If so, are we then just a sprinkle on the donut that is the cosmos?

Apparently, I have to quit posting when I'm hungry.

Expect the Unexpected

There is a logic paradox called the Unexpected Hanging. If you are not aware of story it goes something like this:

A man commits a heinous crime and is being sentenced by the judge. The judge, known to be a man who kept his word, told the prisoner, "Because your crime is so heinous, this is worst thing I can do you. You will be hanged at dawn one day next week. To make your last days on this Earth troubled, you will not know what day it will be."
The prisoner is shaken and white as a sheet. He sees his lawyer has a smile on his face. The prisoner asks, "How can you possibly find this amusing?" The lawyer says, "Don't you see? The sentence cannot be carried out."
Puzzled, the prisoner says, "What do you mean?" The lawyer says, "Look at it this way. The judge said you will not know which day you will be hanged. But you cannot possibly be hanged on Saturday. On Friday, you would know without a doubt that you will be hanged on Saturday. The judge said you would not know the day. So you cannot possibly be hanged, as this would go against the judge's orders."
The prisoner rubs his chin and says, "I see." The lawyer then says, "You cannot be hanged on Friday, either. On Thursday, you would know that you could not be hanged on Saturday. That only leaves Friday as the day to hang you. But again, you would know this. And that violates the judge's sentence."
The prisoner says, "You are right. Thursday is also out, because I know I cannot be hanged on Friday or Saturday. It's the same for Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday and Sunday!" The lawyer says, "Exactly! You cannot be hanged without violating the judge's sentence!"

August 1st, 2005, was an eventful day. It started out as normal. I got up and went in to work as usual. We were resetting the sales floor that day because had new furniture. Most of it back-to-school related. There was also a new dining table; very ornate and very heavy. We put the legs on and went to flip it over. That is when I felt something searing hot in my back.

It felt like someone was trying to brand me, just from the inside out. Then, as if on some hellish cue, pain shot up and then down my spine. Dazed, I sat down in the chair that was waiting to match up with the table. That's when I thought, "Okay. Don't move.", followed by, "Idiot, if you didn't move, how did you end up in the chair?"

This twisted banter lasted a few moments as I began moving extremities. Toes first. Check. Feet. Check. Legs. Ouch!
As I moved my right leg, I could feel a tearing sensation in my lower right back. I told another manager that something was wrong. After my story, she echoed the thought in my head. "Idiot."

Since I knew nothing was broken. I asked her to help me into the office. There, I laid down on the floor. The hard, cold floor. I had hoped that this would let my spine and muscles relax while keeping everything straight. After 15 minutes, several people checking on me (so they could call me idiot, too), and no change, the realization hit me hard. In 20 years of working, I was a worker's comp claim.

I called my wife and had her come and take me to the clinic. Still in excruciating pain, I suffered through waiting for the doctor. I knew what he would say. "You strained a muscle. Idiot." In truth, I would not have even gone, except I knew this would get me out of work for at least a couple of days as well as something that would MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!

We go to the first Walgreen's we can find, and Kat goes in while I try to figure out how I would exist in the uncomfortable car seat waiting for the prescription to be filled. I also realized it was after 1 pm and was hungry. When she got back, we headed for my favorite Chinese restaurant. It happened to be in the same area.

We sat down in a booth, ordered, and I took some medicine. Kat went to the restroom and I tried willing the medicine to burst out of my stomach and directly to back. I had just settled into the least painful position I could find, when Kat came back. She wanted to sit beside me. I wanted her to go to the other side. She got her way, and sat close and held me. I could only think that she must really like seeing me in pain, and wanted a close-up view. I looked at her and she met my eyes. Then she said, "I'm pregnant."

On Tuesday morning at dawn, the prisoner was awakened from a restful slumber, led to the gallows and hanged. And the prisoner never expected it.

Yes, I know that this is a strange parallel. But bear with me. You see, we had tried having a child earlier. There were issues, including an ectopic pregnancy as well as the loss of one ovary. The embryo had formed outside the womb, even outside of the fallopian tube. The doctor had to go inside and remove the embryo. While there, she noted one of the ovaries was not normal. I had to make the decision while Kat was under whether or not to remove the ovary. Toughest. Decision. I. Ever. Made.

Babies went on the back burner after that. Kat decided to finish college and try graduate school. This led us to New Orleans, then Orlando. That's where the subject of babies came up again.

So here we go, with worse-case scenarios running through my head. Does this one ovary produce eggs? Does it fire one each month, or is it every other month? If it's been every month, has it depleted its supply? Will this little baby call me an idiot?

Even then, knowing that we were just beginning this adventure, I did not expect results so quickly!

It seems that Kat had a feeling that very morning. She was certain, but when she went in to Walgreen's she bought a pregnancy test. Then, while at the restaurant, she took the test in the restroom. She knew she could not wait to tell me, so she came directly to me right then.

But she got an unexpected reaction. I was so focused on my pain and hunger, I was sitting there in stunned silence. Then I said, "You couldn't wait until I was in a better state of mind?"

Looks like everyone was right. I was an idiot that day. And I never expected any of it.

It was a dark and stormy night.

I love reading. I consume books like a beggar invited to a buffet. Non-fiction or fiction, it does not matter. As long as it is something that interests me and makes me want to turn the page. Half-Price Books in Dallas was my favorite spot to play, especially during the long, hot summers. Not having anything like that here, I find myself scouring the libraries of Orlando to satiate my habit.
Now, as I am aspiring to be found on the shelf next to these works, the writer in me always notes the style, structure, language use, etc. One can study how to write, but the best way to learn is by example. And there are plenty of those in this world.
My favorite part of any work of fiction has to be the first sentence. This almost always tells me how much I will enjoy the rest of the story. Admittedly, there are many best-selling authors whose first lines will not grab you. Either it is because they know people will read them anyway. Or they prolong this "hook" for the first paragraph. But all in all, those stories that hook you with the first sentence have become stories I will read again.
These are some of my favorites:
"Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing." Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." 1984 by George Orwell

"He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." Scaramouche by Raphael Sabatini

"Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person." Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins." Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Did you know, the title of this post is actually from a novel by Edward Bulwer-Lytton called Paul Clifford? He's also the author of the line "The pen is mightier than the sword."

My Blog, My Topic

This is from the comic strip "Pearls Before Swine" by Stephan Pastis. He fills the void left by "Far Side" and "Calvin and Hobbes" quite fittingly. And this seemed utterly appropriate.

Enjoy!

(Also, check out the strip from 7/20. I think he's reading these blogs!)