Random Gibberish, April 2009

It makes me very frustrated, going about a month between posts. It makes me feel like I am letting myself down. I really thought I could post 6 times a month. Well, technically I can. The real truth is that I censor about  95% of what I write. Mainly because I don't feel I have something substantial to add to the web. And it isn't like any/many do stop in.

Still, there are those things that I write down that, at the time, seem to be something. I wrestle with making them a worthwhile read. Most just bounce around and get deleted. Here, if for no other reason than to rid a few of them from my skull, are topics, rants, thoughts (gibberish, drivel) that have been squatting like a band of homeless gypsies and need to be evicted from my brain:

• Ducks have such attitude. But they get away with it. Next time you see some ducks on a lake, just stay there and watch. Sooner or later, they will dip headfirst into the water, getting a bite to eat. Not hardly. They are mooning you. And you thought they were all cute.  Another reason to hunt them.
• I miss Feedburner. Google analytics is so clunky. And you really have to dig for the information Feedburner would gift wrap and present in such a clean, simple way.
• Speaking of analytics, 4 people a day visit this site. Poor unfortunate souls. They obviously didn't know what they were searching for. And it's NEVER anyone I know. (Okay, almost never. 99.99997% of the time NEVER.)
• If I opened up a puppy mill (or even a legal dog breeding facility), I would call it the Bar K Corral.  (Not really; I find one dog to be a chore.  I cannot imagine what more than one would smell like...) 
• If I could be one age the rest of my life (sort of like vampiric/never-aging, but not necessarily an undead/eternal state *huh?*), I would like to be 28. It just seems more respectable. More responsible than an 18 or 21 year old. And yet still has a youthfulness about it.

Well, now. Out of my head. And into yours. All 4 of you. In truth, most of you stay around about 38 seconds, so most of you didn't even finish reading this. And I wonder why I don't post more often...

Edit: I do want you all to know, I really am not hung up on how many and who visit here.  It is all tongue-in-cheek.  And done for a laugh only.  I do this blog for my amusement; not so much for acclaim.  Orlando Daily Photo (the link is at the top) gets well over 2000 visitors a month, and I post quite regularly there.  Over 500 photos.  And that's with taking over two months off.

My Things To Do List

It has been one hell of a month.  An impromtu move is perhaps the most frustrating and exhausting thing that you can do with a two-year old.  Hastily packed boxes with vague descriptions (at least on the ones I packed) coupled with a small someone obsessed with unpacking them before the movers arrive has meant that the unpacking process has been just as much fun.
Now July is one-third over and I have several unfinished projects in disarray.  This is my Things To Do list for the next few days:
1.  Complete 5 applications for teaching positions for the fall.
2.  Send out reference forms to those who kindly have agreed to speak well of me.
3.  Complete 4 to 6 drawings for a concept called "I Got It!"
4.  Finish a second draft to a children's book called "The Flirds of Borida".  (I cannot decide if I like Flird or Flyrd better.)
5.  Crank out a few posts to this blog.
6.  Get back to a daily posting on Orlando Daily Photo.

All this on top of a regular job, a little boy who needs pony rides, and a loving wife who needs small breaks from a little boy.

*sigh*

I think "Take a nap" just moved to the top of the list...

Mostly Cloudy

I found a great widget to create a Label Cloud. I added it to my Daily Photo blog. But, I had a little trouble adding it to this one. If I had any idea what I was actually doing, it would have gone much smoother.
I also went through and added labels to my previous posts. In some cases, it was like reading my own posts for the first time. Time does give you a more critical eye. And side note: I gave 2 posts the same title. One would think Blogger would have an alert that you are duplicating.
Anywho, let me know what you think!

I Aspire To Be Neal Boortz

Neal Boortz gets to rant and rave for 4 hours on our local radio station. He covers the gamut from national topics to the issues of everyday life and imparts his opinion with intelligence and common sense.
I came across his Top Ten Thoughts for 2008, and had to share.
Number 10. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6. Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax Cut saves you $0.30?
Number 2. In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world Is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008: 'Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow'.

I think Number 6 is my favorite. *giggle*
Oh, and John, you should really like him. He's a Texas A&M grad and (former) lawyer.

Top 6 Times and Places I Would Visit

I changed my major from architecture to graphic design after two years of college. That meant that I had way too many "history of" classes in both areas. The art side was better in that there was a focus on the cultures that produced the works instead of dryly talking about the art by itself. Still, both gave insights into some interesting moments and places. When I finally perfect my time machine, these are the first stops:

1. The pyramids of Giza - circa 2500 BC* I would love to see the actual construction of these structures.
*Um, yeah. How would you program a time machine to understand BC dates? Is Zero considered a year?
2. Machu Picchu, Peru - circa 1450 AD The Incans were far ahead of the dominant cultural/technological wave that moved across the Earth. To see the heart of their empire in its splendor, would give such insight into a world we can only speculate.
3. Roswell, New Mexico - July 7, 1947 Right, like you wouldn't want to know the truth. I probably would arrive a few days earlier. The government could have lied about the actual date, too!
4. Eiffel Tower - 31 March, 1889 Somehow I would wrangle an invite to be part of the inaugural celebration. (I would probably take a few for a spin in my time machine!)
5. Leonardo Da Vinci's studio - circa 1502 I could then answer definitively what caused Lisa Gherardini, wife of Francesco del Giocondo to smile so when she posed for her portrait. My theory - Leo painted her with no pants on. And being a distinguished lady, she merely smiled that enigmatic smile.
6. Williams High School Plano, TX 1980 I would have a real long talk with myself. Be that object lesson as to what being an underachiever will bring you. Wait. If I have developed and fully funded a working time machine, I would just prove myself correct! OUCH! Damn time paradoxes always give me migraines.

Resolutions

Note to self: On March 1st, re-read this post and LAUGH, LAUGH, LAUGH!

I really don't make any grandiose resolutions. I am not saying I have nothing to improve upon. Just content with myself. And with that said, here we go!

1. Exercise more. (Vague enough to argue that by mid-February this will be accomplished.)
2. Eat healthier. (Again vague enough.)
3. Enjoy more wines. (Sipping on a glass of Veuve Clicquot right now.)
4. Write 500 words a day. (This will be the toughest one.)
5. Post one photo a day on my other blog.
6. Post at least 6 times a month on this blog.

And the one resolve I make each year. And so far, I have kept it.
Enjoy each day as the gift from God that it is. And thank Him daily for the gift.

Lessons Learned as a Child - Part Two

A continuation of lessons found here:

1. The two best flavors of ice cream are vanilla and whatever flavor Daddy is eating.
2. The ground hurts your head, no matter how close you are to the ground when you fall.
3. Do not honk the horn when Daddy is working on the car.
4. Cats are mean. Especially when you pull on their tails.
5. Fish really like baths. They never seem to get clean, though.
6. Daddy is ALWAYS grumpy at 4:30 a.m.
7. Mommy must be afraid of the monsters, too. She never checks all of the hiding places like Daddy does.
8. Mommy has a three "why?" limit. I don't know why.
9. Cookies always taste better when Grandma makes them.
10. Grandpa buys me the best toys, like drums and horns. But I can only play them when I go home.
11. No matter how bad I hurt, mommy's kiss makes it all better.
12. I have it too easy. Daddy reminds me of this every day.

Negativity

It seems anymore that the news has really moved towards emphasizing the bad news. Like today, the angle for one local radio news story was how the record number of tourists to the area had brought with it a spike in the amount of flu cases here this year. It seems that Universal and SeaWorld are announcing their best summers since 9/11. Walt Disney World will not give out figures, but are saying they exceeded their expected turnout. Yet, somehow, this was a bad thing for the area. *long sigh*
I noticed a long time ago that here and in New Orleans that news focused on the sensational. This was in stark contrast to Dallas. Big D police had requested very early on that news outlets not talk about gangs in Dallas. This actually helped in that gangs did not do crimes in order to publicize their existence. Even now, if you check out the Dallas Morning News versus the Orlando Sentinel or the Times-Picayune, you will find more negative stories in Orlando and New Orleans. Is it really that bad? Is it really that great in Dallas?
It permeates into our lives. When I ask people who they would vote for and why, the why is all about what they do not like about the other candidate. We seem to be moving to voting against someone instead of voting for someone.
Is there a way to reverse this? I realize the irony of being negative about negativity, but the first step is admitting there is a problem. I want to start now and focus my energy on what is going right:

No devastating hurricanes this year.
Streetcars are running on St. Charles Avenue once again.
The Cowboys have a solid shot at the Super Bowl.
Ikea opened in Orlando.
The economy is running strong.
Health-wise, my whole family is great.
I donate blood on a regular basis because I can.
Right now, I am content.

It was a dark and stormy night.

I love reading. I consume books like a beggar invited to a buffet. Non-fiction or fiction, it does not matter. As long as it is something that interests me and makes me want to turn the page. Half-Price Books in Dallas was my favorite spot to play, especially during the long, hot summers. Not having anything like that here, I find myself scouring the libraries of Orlando to satiate my habit.
Now, as I am aspiring to be found on the shelf next to these works, the writer in me always notes the style, structure, language use, etc. One can study how to write, but the best way to learn is by example. And there are plenty of those in this world.
My favorite part of any work of fiction has to be the first sentence. This almost always tells me how much I will enjoy the rest of the story. Admittedly, there are many best-selling authors whose first lines will not grab you. Either it is because they know people will read them anyway. Or they prolong this "hook" for the first paragraph. But all in all, those stories that hook you with the first sentence have become stories I will read again.
These are some of my favorites:
"Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing." Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." 1984 by George Orwell

"He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." Scaramouche by Raphael Sabatini

"Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person." Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins." Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Did you know, the title of this post is actually from a novel by Edward Bulwer-Lytton called Paul Clifford? He's also the author of the line "The pen is mightier than the sword."

Lessons Learned as a Child - Part One

1. Glass is something you can see through. But you cannot go through it, no matter how fast you run.
2. Bed covers are impenetrable to any and all monster attacks.
3. When Mom is mad at Dad, do not let her brush your hair.
4. Dogs like green beans, but they don't like brussel sprouts, either.
5. If I want to see Daddy run real fast, I only have to say, "Uh, oh."
6. If I want to see Mommy run real fast, I just have to be very quiet.
7. When Mommy was little, they only had one song, so they changed the words. That way they could sing about a star, sheep, and the alphabet.
8. Daddy will tell you when you get there, so please do not ask him several times.
9. Putting food in your napkin is not cleaing your plate.
10. Water tastes better when someone brings it to you in the middle of the night, and you don't have to get out of bed.
11. Daddy is messy. That is why he has to cook outside.
12. Mommy's spit has many uses.

Seven Famous Sevens

Just for the hell of it, in honor of 07-07-07.

1. Seven Wonders of the Ancient World
2. Seven Deadly Sins
3. The Magnificent Seven
3. Seven Continents
4. Seven Days of the Week
5. The Seven Seas
6. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
7. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Honorable mentions include: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, 007 James Bond, Seven Card Stud, 7-11 and 7-up.

Seven is an enigmatic number. There are mathematical properties that are inherent with seven. One example, take any number not evenly divisible by seven. On a calculator (or on paper if you so choose) divide it by seven. Pretty amazing. Take another number, three digits this time, and do the same. Freaky, isn't it?
Seven also figures into many religions. But nowhere more so than in Judaism and Christianity. Seven is God's perfect number. In occasion after occasion, seven comes into play. Seven days of creation. Jericho is circled seven times and the walls fell. When Peter asked how many times he should forgive someone, he pointedly asked if seven times was enough. Jesus responded with 70 times 7. Revelation is filled with several instances using seven.

I wanted to post this at 7:07, but that isn't possible. Instead, I settled for 7 minutes into the day. And I used 217 words to write all this...

Top 6 - 80's Songs I Sing With When in the Car Alone

1. You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - Dead or Alive, 1985
2. Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles, 1986
3. Tainted Love - Soft Cell, 1981
4. You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi, 1986
5. Land of Confusion - Genesis, 1986
6. An Innocent Man - Billy Joel, 1983

It helped that Tainted Love and You Spin Me were used in Coneheads and Wedding Singer, respectively. This gave them more airtime.
Land of Confusion still has one of my favorite vidoes. It is fascinating to see that the anti-Republican playbook remains the same today: show the opposition as being incompetent, ignorant or an imbicile.

Why a Top 6? Because it's one better that 5, and not as cumbersome as 10.