March 07, 2008

I Aspire To Be Neal Boortz

Neal Boortz gets to rant and rave for 4 hours on our local radio station. He covers the gamut from national topics to the issues of everyday life and imparts his opinion with intelligence and common sense.
I came across his Top Ten Thoughts for 2008, and had to share.
Number 10. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6. Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax Cut saves you $0.30?
Number 2. In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world Is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008: 'Life is like a jar of jalapeƱos. What you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow'.

I think Number 6 is my favorite. *giggle*
Oh, and John, you should really like him. He's a Texas A&M grad and (former) lawyer.


Dubber said...

#6 is good for a hardy chuckle. I need to find some #6s.

Sage words indeed. I'll have to look the guy up on the internet... I'll check back with you in a few weeks. ;)

Scott Johnson said...

A few weeks, huh? While I'm waiting, I'll just check out your stumbles.


You added him to your stumbles? Already?!? Your favorite Aggie lawywer!?!

I feel so used...

Scott Johnson said...

#8 was funny, too. But I kinda felt he gave away all the mysteries of "man" by putting this one in there.

Dubber said...

Yeah, he betrayed the gender. Bastard! Let's pretend to be his friend while saying catty things behind his back.